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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloony* Hail Fuchsiagrasshopper !*Delight* Thanks for your entry in the "Fabulous Fantasy Contest " .
I am happy to offer a few comments as a judge. *Fairy*


*Thumbsup* Wow! I really enjoyed entering your vision. Your vivid and detailed descriptions were aamazing and made me see the forest, the girl, her movements through to the huts and the creature. I like delicious detail and how you share in bits the plight of the girl. In terms of an opening to grab attention I was wondering if an action scene might serve. A memory perhaps that she is having that sets up the prior events and hooks the reader. I was drawn in but I do recall authors sayihg that openers need to quickly attract. *Wink* Something to dream about.

It was coherent to follow and the weaving of environment with the girl's perspectives was well done.

*Sun* It is obvious you have a clear vision of their world and I liked the names of the places and the Divine. I would say you could continue the story and expand on the world and its inhabitants at an other time.

*Heart*I felt for the characters, first the girl and then the snake and it is wonderful how you have them share a similar fate or being alone..makes for a secure companionship. Believeable. It is interesting how you show her a child but with the necessity of being older, perhaps copying what she had seen elders say and do.

*burst*I think the name Trenton is appealing and the dialogue really added drama and activity to the story after the lenghty narrative. I laughed when the snake was insulted after accused of running. I could really imagine it as well as her reaction to being called a mongrel.

*Fairy* It was creative how you wove the music prompt into it and the idea the snake would risk life to listen to it is unique. I am wondering of the significance of the flute... as she is keeping it though it seems inactive. A really good hook for the next part of the story. I am thinking it magical. It inspires me and kept me reading. *Thumbsup*

*Delight* The interplay between the two characters was natural and purposeful in showing character and revealing story details. It drew me in further to the tale.

I am not a story writer so there may be flaws or wonders I fail to see, but the following are little glitches that popped up for me. *Wink*

*Penb*" in the line unrest nature," I think the word "unrest"is a noun so it was odd to read. "Also in "entered likely" I would keep the language direct as opposed to use the world "likely" as it weakens the line and the idea that she would not have chosen had she the choice. Watch for places where words make idea tenuous instead of a fact. *Wink*

*Penp*Some lines struck me as passive when a more active voice would be more powerful. eg. "the sweet smell of the wood being inhaled through her nose as she gasped quietly about her pain." I have read that letting characters do things directly is better. " She smelled the sweetness of the wood and gasped." I would drop unneeded adverbs as I believe editors are frowning on their over use these days. And I do not know how to gasp quietly. *Smile*

*Penr*I thought "plodding quickly" was an odd description of the snake moving away. I wondered how a snake would "plod". *Smile* I thought she was exhausted but you had her "run". I did like the lonely colour of her call. The desperation for connection at this point is moving.

*Penv* "not be caught for poaching." to me means the snake is poaching. maybe use : not be caught by poachers' for clarity.

*Peng* There are likely places that could be refined to be less wordy and I wondered about:
eg.In "As she looked over the useless thing in her hand, she felt compelled to throw it back down to the floor of the forest with as much good it would serve her. Unless she could find a band of music playing bandits, the little flute was of no use to her."
you said it would be no use two times in different ways. You say "compelled" but did she throw it down?" Again maybe some definitive action instead of telling about what she did. Have her do it. *Smile*

I had fun playing in your world and felt good at the end! Neither were alone and drawing us back to her prayer earlier and how she is being looked after was effective. I can see where this story could be continued as I have the idea that she , the flute and snake are saved for a purpose. *Cool*

Thanks for sharing your dream and craft! *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann



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Review of My Magician  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloony*Hiya Cadie Laine! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your Auction package. *Balloonp*

*Wand*Another title that appeals to my imagination and it is so heartwarming to think that your partner reflects the qualities of magic. *Heart* The tribute to him is shown in its warm, appreciative tone and the way you share his caring attributes.

It is so romantic in nature and the free flow verses suit the emotional content and theme. The verses vary in length and each carries a specific image of the magician's ways in your life together. I enjoyed the image of the "gardener" which is so symbolic and the "Prince" image is charming and adds to the romantic notion. The fourth verse really encapsules the idea of "love" as magic and adding that "friend and foe" gives a sense of realism as a balance to the Knight in shining armour. Good contrast. The idea of teamwork and enjoying each other is an example of what can be in relationship.

In verse 3 I think you need to drop the "s" in " my loves" and with the word "forever" I think you need to use the words "will love me forever". *Wink*

This is very inspiring and positive vision of partnership and it is so telling of your feelings for this person especially using the image of magician. Repeating "my Magician" in verse is emphatic and I think it added to the effect of the read. The couplet at the end sums it up well.

Thanks for sharing so personally and charming me. How blessed you are. *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hiya Cadie Laine! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your Auction gift! *Bookopen*

I was drawn to the title with its evocative image. I enjoy a silent time alone in reflection, meditation and noodling for ideas! *Smile* Your message seems to show that we are never alone and that silence yeilds a connection to inner wisdom with a higher voice. Wonderful. *Smile*

The free style verse suits the reflective nature of the theme and it flows coherently. The variety of longer and short lines add dramatic effect and I like the first three short lines as they felt emphatic in their message. The last line indicates how low the poet may have felt before tuning in. It is interesting and effective to have that at the end. Line 8 was appealing to me in tone and meaning with its assonnance of "o" sound echoing. Lovely line. *Thumbsup*

The tag line mentions empty nest, yet the poem itself could refer to any kind of "alone" experience, so we can all relate. Even the image in the last line is a good one for any of those low times. Good job!

Thanks for sharing your vision and experience that is inspirational. *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya Cryptic Omega!


*Delight* What an interesting topic for a poem and a yummy one too! I really like how you capture the delight and the festive atmosphere. I could really sense the fun and anticipation as you take me through the experience. Well done. *Thumbsup*

The title captures the theme clearly and got my attention. I have not been to Louisiana but have seen movies where they cook crawfish!

It was fun to read the sing song type rhythm of the short lines and they flowed fairly smoothly as I read aloud. Verse 9 was a bit harder to read with the same flow as the others. Yummy image though!
Your rhyming was effective and added to the flow and pace. *Thumbsup*

Your chosen words created a vivid image of the picnic like imagery and I could imagine the tables, tents and big pots! It has a real summer time family feeling and I imagine it could be like a town event! I know in the east coast of Canada they have lobster and crab fests that are part of the fishing culture there.

You really show how the process works too in case folks did not know.

I think you may have too many commas. eg. I don't think you need one after "faces" in verse 1, and "sacks" and "time"... where it is natural for the line to flow one to another. though you may be using them for pause effect. I wondered if it is the sacks that are splashing about--- as you say they are emptied . I took you to mean that they dump the crayfish out of the sacks into a tin...so how can the sacks splash? Or am I missing something? Just something that popped up for me. Of course, in poetry, the whole picture can get shortened and leave it to us to get it. I did get that the crayfish were splashing. Maybe a period after "tin" and drop the comma after "sacks" as a bit of clarity. *Smile*

This is a light hearted piece of entertainment and I enjoyed entering your vision! Thanks for sharing your craft!*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya Jay! I learned about writing Villanelles last year so I am so happy to see this one! It is quite a challenge to get right! *Wink*


I was drawn to your title as it evoked a peaceful scene and I imagined a lovely field, lots of sky and horizon in the distance. The word "greening" was also an unusual and evocative one! Brilliant.

What an uplifting and well composed villanelle with a well conceived concept. I like the blend of nature and the comparison to life growth, reflecting deep thought. *Thumbsup*

The verses are balanced using the form elements correctly. I enjoyed your rhymes in the scheme and know how difficult it can be to make words fit the format and theme. The poem flows coherently and makes sense. The refrains are a potent duo compination. Very evocative. *Sun*

I noted only one line that fell out of the syllabication of your 7 beat lines. The last verse, line 2 has an extra syllable. *Wink* I think villanelles generally do have each line with the same syllables yet this idea works well for your poem and hey.... poets are known to be original and use lisence. *Laugh*

Your use of poetic devices like assonance, consonance and alliteration is effective to create a pleasing soundscape and it was fun to read aloud. Punctuation assisted the read as well. Good job!

I admire your skill and the philosophical/nature aura of your first villanelle. *Starstruck* You rocked the challenge! *Wink*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Dragon*Hi Joey, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your poem! *Fire*


*Fire*Wow! This is a wonderful creation with an echo of the Puff Magic Dragon song yet full of vivid images and interesting detail. The long line style reminds me of a story poem and I enjoyed some of the soundscapes of the phrasings.

*Fire*In the second verse I don't think you need the word "he" in the third line as you say "Smoke" in the line before and you do not need to repeat "their" twice in line four.*Wink*

*Fire* I would look at streamlining your lines to avoid redundancies. For examples:
In verse 4 I noticed you used the word "but" three times--could use some variety.
IN verse 5 "all one day most fade" do you mean "must fade"?
In verse 6, do you need to use "they" after "his wings"? It seems like a double subject and we know you mean his wings. *Wink*

*Fire*Thanks for sharing your brilliant vision with its complex weave. It has a strong voice and an aura of a sea tale. I like the repetition of the "dragons be" notion that creates a refrain that ties it together. *Thumbsup*

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Dragon*Hi Kotaro, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your poem! *Fire*


*Fire*Wow! This is an amazing creation and unique tale. I really enjoyed the rhythm of the verse style. I can appreciate how much effort it took to weave this lengthy epic so coherently. The imagery is vivid and the story line complex.
It was really cool to use a ninja, zombie and the idea of "gem in the soul". *Thumbsup*

*Fire* Your use of poetic techniques like alliteration, assonance and consonance and the 'Y" sounds were effective to create a pleasing flow and soundscape. The verses are balanced and pleasant to read aloud, even while the line beats are not all the same. It did not detract from the read. *Smile*

*Dragon* The first verse drew me into the magic with its clear magical setting and your sentence structure. I could enter your vision with ease. *Starstruck*
Thanks for sharing this impressive crafting.

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "Transylvania Poem " 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp* Hiya Megan Rose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Carv* Here we go around the world and yay, your vision of Romania rocks!

*Carr* I like the way to encapsulate Romania's struggles with changing dynasties and add the mythical aspect of Transylvania's fame , ending with your own feelings on the subject all in one poem. Brilliant vision. *Star* The free verse suits the theme and variety of details about your knowledge of this region.

*Carg* I think in verse 2 "became" needs to be "came" grammatically. *Wink*

*Laugh* I laughed at the end! I love the Munsters. It is so fascinating how you bring to the fore all of these connections. *Thumbsup* Thanks for sharing your unique vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of To Awaken  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC Christopher! Congrats on posting your first items. *Delight*


*Fairy*The title appealed to me as it has a philosophical theme and the notion of awakening consciousness leading to acceptance of what is, is cool! I enjoyed the fanciful images and lines like "cuddle the understanding" and "let the stars gossip"! Original concepts.

*Fairy* I notice the word "pedals" should be "petals" if referring to the rose. The other is for a bike. *Wink*

*Fairy* The free style suit the content and your enjambments were emphatic and effective. eg. like "Now" and "but".

*Star* It is an evocative peice and one worth pondering with its intriguing metaphors. I liked the practical ending. It is hopeful and inspirational. *Smile*

Thanks for your sharing your vision and keep on writing as the muse leads! *Star*
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Review of Outside-in  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Blonde! Thanks for posting your first item at WDC brave author! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! You really caught the intensity of this moment. Beginning even a short line story with dialogue and emotion is a good hook to make us want to read on. The vivid verbs like "bawled" and "mumbled" add clarity to the tone of the characters voices.

*Shock2* I assume the second quote was what the mother mumbled and from the words from both characters there is indeed a conflict and it seems they are at real odds. What the mom speaking about the girl or someone else? It seemed like the girl is in overexcited state and the mom more low toned. I would love to know more about what is going on and what will happen. I can see this could be extended into a whole drama. *Smile*

*Quill* Sentence structure, use of quotes and punctuation is good.
I would put the mom's speech on a new line. The rule generally is each speaker has their own line for ease of identification. *Wink*

*Star* You captured my imagination and interest and leave me to ponder the rest of the story. It has the feel of a flash fiction yet not enough detail. Will there be more?

*Heart*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I am rating a three for the craft and evocation, though It is not really a complete story yet. Hope you will continue writing. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Michelle! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Star* What a unique theme for a flash fiction story. The idea that bees use a whole mountain is so appealing and it is creative how you have your character move through the hive. *Thumbsup* It would be a wonderous thing to see and you did a good job of describing what he sees there. The image of sleeping in a cell gave me a chill. I mean what if the bees came back? Good ploy! It kept me reading. He was brave to go in considering there might be bees. I assume he saw it empty because they were off gathering? *Smile*

*Quill*I notice that in the second line, "there was" needs to be "there were".

*Mountainsb* I like how you slowly reveal Rossco's motivation for taking the risk and explain the worth of the honey. It was appealing to have a comical twist at the end. I burst out laughing at the larva as it was so unexpected! Good job! The last line ended with his bit of wisdom. *Thumbsup*

*Star* I had fun reading this and how you made the whole notion so real, applying knowledge of hives to a fantastical story. Wonderful read.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp*Hiya Megan! I am happy to catch up with your newest edition of the Jane Austen Newsletter! *Delight*


*Heart* Another informative look at Jane and I like your sharing Helen Amy's finds about her life and work. I had not heard of this book of files. Good stuff! It is amazing how more details are coming to light. Is it the second half of the letter the info you gleaned from Helen's work?

*Heart*I liked reading the details about the films and that they are making a ballet! *Shock* Wow! It is also cool that the sisters did not attend balls to together at times. I guess she was apart from her and she writes so much about sisters going together to balls in her books, we like to assume she did too.*Smile* I noticed a typo: "she was stay at her aunt's..." needs to be "staying". *Wink*

I wondered why you were puzzled in this line:'One thing I was puzzled by was, Jane wrote her Juvenalia". *Confused*

I had to smile at the bit of gossip that Jane could have used! Ah real life! *Laugh*

This was delightful and fresh vision! Thanks for sharing your appreciation and keeping us informed of the continuing Jane Files! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya snow! I am travelling "Invalid Item"  as well and saw you fascinating essay. What a great theme and one that is personal to your own journey. *Star*


*Fire* I really like the description and how you capture the essence of the experience. The quote was brilliant and effective addition to illustrate his feeling and the nature of the symbolic Statue of Liberty!

*Fire*The writing was coherent and easy to follow. Thanks for adding some source links as well. I enjoy biography and history so this was very appealing and something I knew little about. *Star*
Thanks for sharing your vision of this event.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
fairy sig for Power Captain!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Passport  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Fairy2* Hello brom21 .

Thank you for your entry into"Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am happy to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Delight* What rocked my world: You spun a tale with a lot of mystery, magic and thrill of the chase. I was really curious and invovled in the story.

*Quill* What glitched for me: There is no real information about who the strange people are, though we know their motivation is that they want their ticket back.

*Burstr*Plot:

You hooked me with the dramatic opening and made me curious as to why he stole and who these chasers were! You set the scene and the problem of out running the men and using the ticket. The twists and turns of the chase led to a magical conclusion. Although I still do not know the whole story of these chasers, the main character ended up where he wanted to be. *Thumbsup* I could sense his excitement there as much as feel his fear earlier.

*Burstr*Characters:

Alex and Vince are the main characters out running their enemies, about whom we know little.
Alex is shown well through his inner thinking and actions and I like how you reveal he has a talent for trouble in the reaction of his brother. His excitement about this ticket is clear and he is willing to do anything to find out how it works. He is understandable and likeable.
I like the caring relationship between the brothers and that Vince does take what he knows into account before just believing Alex. You reveal their behaviours, stance and tones in effective images.

*burst*Conventions:

*Penb*I really enjoyed reading the story, which flowed coherently with lots of detail to set the atmosphere and lots of descriptions to show not always tell. The action takes place in a logical manner and is easy to follow. There was sufficient tension to keep the suspense as the brothers continue to discuss and escape the desperate men, including cops. You leave hooks that could lead into a continuing story. *Thumbsup*

*Pen* I was surprised that he did drop the ticket--though you intimated he may have done so out of surprise even though he had said he would give it to them.

*Penb*The dialogue moves the story swiftly along and is purposeful and adds drama. The way you have characters speaking is natural and fits their natures. The explanations as Alex shares are detailed and being interrupted adds to the drama and slows up our knowing what happens. *Smile*

*Penb* I liked when you used the title of this contest and the name of the book store! The secret messages were brilliant and in keeping with intrigue of the story line. I really want to know more! *Smile*

*Quill* I noticed a few typos on my way:
" to excited to start" needs to be "too excited".
In the line: "One of three men in suites", do you mean "suits"?
"“Speed up! If we each the intersection" , a typo in "each" needs to be "reach".
Also, I like how you put Alex's inner thoughts in italics yet there are few places where you need to do that.

*Starstruck* The title was perfect. I was entertained by your tale and entered into the thrill of the chase and mystery. Good job!

Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Vertie's Platform  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Fairy2* Hello PureSciFi .

Thank you for your entry into "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am happy to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Nuclear* What rocked my world:
The science fiction theme with a mystery in space makes for a suspenseful situation. You kept me wondering what would happen as the characters wander and converse through coms.

*Nuclear* What glitched for me:
You had so many characters and not much background so we could get to know who they were.

*Earth*Plot:
You hooked my attention with the laser action and escape of the pilots. The problem of the missing people and what happened on the station is well laid out and the end is clear when they get away in time. We do not find out what really happened on Vertie yet.

*Sun*Characters:
There does not seem to be a main character but a number of named crew members who wander and use the communication system. I like how they each have a job or skill and you did a good job with dialogue so I could easily follow who was speaking.

*Moon*Conventions:
You have a well laid out detailed flow of events as the crew tries to discover what went on. The language fits the science theme and setting of the space center. A jail in space is a unique idea and I like the name "cortivians" and wanted to know more about them.
This could well be an episode of a longer piece. I enjoyed your vivid description in the med center with the gadgetry. I notice at the end, it is not clear that they get away but I am assuming they do.*Smile*

*Nuclear*A few glitches that caught my eye:

I did not quite get this image: "looking at each floating monitor that floated past". *Confused*

I think " was wasn’t we warned about it.” should be "Why weren't we warned". *Wink*

In the line, "But he did die of a very deadly illness from his home planet, though.” You do not need the word "though" if you use "but". *Wink*

In the lines “What did you just say, Illoni? Did you just say that the engines are about to explode?” he looked shocked." I think such lines could be tightened up by not repeating "just say" and what does "shocked" look like physically. Try to give a visual or tonal clue.

"he was in communications with" would sound better with "communication with".

In the last paragraph where you say "few seconds before he "...needs to be "before it."

*Star*I like the way you have the team work together and I could follow what is a complicated process. I was happy they got away in time. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Intuition  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Fairy2* Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon .

Thank you for your entry into "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am privileged to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Delight* What rocked my world:
I loved the notion of psychic intuition and the teddy bear symbol. It had a happy ending in a unique way! I enjoy the paranormal.

*Burstr* Plot:
I am not sure there is a definite problem other than Sarah's relationship with her Intuitive skill and how she can use it. It has episodes in her life and tension rose with the emergency call and you lured me to follow her to the end.
The mystery of the teddy bear was so sweet and supported the notion of a generational experience.
I enjoyed the psychic aspect of the story and it is so true how some folks with gifts do try to avoid them at first. I am glad she found a way to use her intuition.

*Burstr*Characters:

Sarah's qualities are clearly defined, though not so much her physicality and I could enter into her struggle with her ability.
Minor characters were purposeful in revealing Sarah at different times as she discovers her gift. *Thumbsup* You really did a good job of describing what goes on in her head!
I wondered why she did not forsee the plane trip, though I know sometimes folks do not sense their own stuff. I guess she did not tune in.

*Burstr* Conventions:

The story mostly flowed in a coherent way and broken into episodes of time. You lead me to the unexpected twist at the end and kept me puzzling through out the building up to it. I fell into the story and while you hinted at the end with the dream where she saw herself, it did not click til the end. I liked how you used the emergency scene and the shock when she saw Tom.

I was not sure how the physical teddy bear would be in the after death scene.

The language flowed naturally and the dialogue added drama and purposeful in revealing character and enhancing the story. The scene with the mom was heart warming!

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya inkwell! I am back with another review as I saw this item that appealed to me. I really like native arts and spirituality, so I could not resist. *Delight*


*Wand* Dreamcatchers are breathtaking and I have seen many different ones, and I took a workshop of creating them. Quite a process! You have captured both the purpose and some of the elements that make up a dreamcatcher in a simple way that any can understand. *Thumbsup*

*Wand* I enjoyed the image of "captured beads..." and the first line is eloquent and lovely image. I wondered if you need to have a definite subject in the first verse---you use "it's" and we know it refers to the title , yet I think it needs to be clear in the verse.
I love your first line. Maybe just add "protection is the dreamcatcher's intention" or something to clarify without wordiness. *Wink*

*Wand*Repeating "Protection" in the second verse works to emphasize. I wonder if you could even add more detail about how this is done. eg. the idea of bad dreams may not be known to some.

*Wand* "promise to the sleeping" I take to mean "help sleepers have peaceful dreams".
The purpose of feathers as guide is cool. It is an interesting idea " feathers guide promise" . *Smile*

*Wand* I like the last verse with its reference to children and the last line made me smile! *Thumbsup* One does need focus to create one.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your vision about this wonderful piece of art and its function. It brought back memories.! I have one in my room too--a gift from a friend. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of Pisces's Son  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya C.O.! Your poem popped up on Read and Review tab today so I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Wand*Wow! This is an evocative expression with a potent voice. The images are vivid and stark as you describe the experience. Using symbols like Pisces, "mars", "current", "paper-machier" and "life long synapse" is brilliant! *Star*

*Wand* I really felt sad for the speaker as you reveal the effects of addiction. You capture the essence well. Active verbs like "smashed", "swung" and "glued" added to the vibrancy and drama of the pictures. The free verse style suited the content and emotional intensity of the piece as well.

*Wand* I was confused a bit by "be my morning". *Confused**Smile*

*Wand* Amazing free flow poem that kept my attention to the end and a well conceived creation that I found original! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of The Sirens.  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya inkwell! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Wand* I was lured by your title and mythological theme concerning sirens. You really did a good job to show their deceptiveness as it was easy to follow their ploy from your description.

*Wand* The short verses are fun to read with effective rhyme scheme and warning tone! I did notice a specific line syllable rhythm and yet it did not detract from the read. I notice you need to use apostrophes to show possession as in words like "Sirens' song" and "that's" for "that is" *Wink*

*Wand* Your verses are quatrains except for one which only has three lines. Was there a reason? It breaks the pattern. I don't think you need a comma after "them" in verse 7 but do need a comma or colon after "are" to connect to the last lines which do not make a complete thought. Just a thought. *Whistle*

*Wand* The contrast of their beauty and their change is well shown and I like the imagery in verse seven. Your warning about these creatures is potent right from the start with your stark second line! Good hook! I wondered if there was a more specific descriptive word than "beautiful" to add to clear visual. *Smile*

*Wand*I was entertained by this evocative tale which would certainly alert all who would listen! Wonderful piece of folklore! *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of The Sitting  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Dave's Pen! This piece popped up on Read and Review! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* The image evoked by your title is intriguing as you make "sitting" a noun! Good hook! I can imagine just sitting and noodling til the force moves you! *Laugh*

*Wand* This is a unique expression as it is interesting how you put the poem together. I did not really notice a form and yet it has wonderful inner rhyme and a philosophic tone. I wanted to move the second part of the third line down on its own so it does not look so long compared to others--more poetic looking. LOL and it would mirror your first line.

*Wand* I enjoyed the images of the "ark of time" and verbs like "entices" with "devices".
The flow of the first line and the beginning of the third line are fast paced and I liked the alliterative part "to which, for what..etc! "

*Wand* I think one could take this as a serious event, and yet it made me smile to think about one sitting around with nothing to prove. It is rather profound too. I think the word "loose" needs to be spelled "lose" if you mean to lose something, lost! Or if you mean "Loose like a tooth." then you have spelled it correctly. *Smile*

I am glad you did not sit too long ...and shared this thought-provoking vision! I think we can all relate! *Starstruck* Congrats on posting your first items at WDC.

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Anlu! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight*Wow! What a unique poem! I love the personification of the jackel. You have really captured its essence as an animal and totem as well I think. The title drew my attention as it is quite evocative as a metaphor.

*Wand*I enjoyed reading your free style with its steady rhyme scheme and while the rhythm is not even in each verse, I was not thrown out of the flow when I read it aloud. Vibrant voice true to the end.


*Wand*The imagery is vivid and I liked the idea of "being the moon...and the darkness on the land" as if he lurks around at night.

*Quill* I noticed that your rhyme scheme does change up a bit from abcb to abab. Usually in poems we try to keep the same scheme for coherence. *Wink* Still it was a wonderful vision!

Thanks for sharing your craft here at WDC! It was fun to read and imagine! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of Home  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Ivyrose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight*Your short piece popped up on Read and Review today. The title is simple and fits the theme perfectly.

*Wand*Your three line free style expression has a heart felt sentiment revealing your sincere definition of home! I liked the imagery of the two "essences" of home and you capture the physical, emotional and spiritual elements. *Smile*

*Wand*Your tagline gives away your message in too much detail I think as you use similar words to your poem. *Wink* In the second line I wanted to say "the most" though it does make it wordy.
I wonder if Philosophy might also be a genre tag as it feels like a piece of wisdom. I am not sure it is a chapter. *Smile* I can see how you could expand on this with vivid examples.

Thanks for sharing your vision and congrats on posting your first item here! *Starstruck* Keep on writing.

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of Travel Pictures  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fairy**Lightning2* Hiya Sum1! I was passing by and couldn't resist your kaleidoscope of images from your travels. This is an impressive collection and a wonderful way to save memories! *Salute*

*Camera* Your introduction is short and to the point with a invitational tone. You could maybe spruce it up with a bit of colour. *Camera* I wondered what kind of camera you used or was it a cell phone? Your photographs are clear and colourful. You have a good eye for balance in each shot. Some would make wonderful pictures to frame and mount on a wall.

*Camera* I especially like your sky and nature images as they raise my vibration as I think of expanding horizons. The rock formations are beautiful. I would love to visit the Arches. LOL I see you even have Lake Muskoka and Quebec on your travel adjenda here. *Wink* Oh I would love that butterfly chair and the horse! *Heart*

*Camera* The collection has a good variety of themes: natural settings, monuments, friends you met, artistic peices and even food! Yum! *Smile* I could spend a while musing in here. There are even some that could inspire a poem or two!

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing these beauties and your love of travel. Lucky you! *Wink*
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for entry "Wolfess Waldemar " 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Wand* Hi Nixie! I have been enjoying your Harry Potter Prompt Book entries! *Delight* Your imagination is on fire in your varied original responses to the prompts and I really appreciate the variety and scope. *Thumbsup*

*Wand*This story "Wolfess Waldmar" with its fascinating title caught my eye! I am glad I read it and now I want to know more! You really know how to grab attention and build tension. I can see this as a part of a longer tale.

*Wand*The story line is coherent and quick paced and you kept up the mystery til the end about the potential reason for the attack. *Thumbsup*

*Wand*The twin sisters are well shown so I could visualize them and their personalities. I smiled that everyone noticed how annoying Winnie is. The contrast between the girls is evident. The idea that Francesca has the map in her mind and of embedded knowledge or instinct is cool!

*Wand*I like the wolf as the ally as the helicopters fly overhead. It has a feel of modern world mixed with the fantastical.

*Fairy*The dialogue was purposeful in telling the story and revealing emotion. It felt natural and I could distinguish tones. *Smile*

It is amazing to write such an engaging piece is a short time. You rock! I am glad you took up the *Wand* challenge! Keep that muse writing! *Starstruck*

eyestar
A birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Wand**Delight*Hi Maryann! I so enjoyed reading your Potter world wizardry. You really know your subject. *Thumbsup*

*Wand* This book is bright and colourful on every page so it is magical to enter. You have a wonderful balance of poetry and story responses to the daily prompts. It is cool you have written Potter related pieces and also gone where the prompt took you out of Potter world. *Thumbsup* To be able to come up with such creativity everyday is an affirmation of your imagination and gift.

*Wand*I really loved your poems which reflect prompts with such detail. You have a lively voice and a light vibe in your tone. Your free style, rhyming and acrostics are well composed. You did a great job getting key words in the poems like spell words and names! I had to grin at the limerick chain too! *Smile* The Keeper of the Keys is one of my favs as I like how you had Hagrid speak! Well done.

*Wand* I had fun with the stories too, The Egg and Eye was so charming and I liked your take on the Forbidden Forest! I absolutely was entertained by the Marauder's Map!! So original and funny! *Salute* You have a great imagination. That kid was sweet. *Heart*

*Starstruck* I am so glad you took up the *Wand*challenge. Thanks for sharing your gift and vision.
Keep on writing! *Wand**Fairy*
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