*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/30
Review Requests: OFF
7,130 Public Reviews Given
7,195 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 26 27 28 29 -30- 31 32 33 34 35 ... Next
726
726
Review of A Touch of Air  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Austin! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* The title intrigued me from the Random Read page! I was drawn into your comparisons in the first lines and enjoyed the imagery of "a feather that flies" as a comparative. *Thumbsup* The inviting tone of the next lines in the verse is romantic.

*Fairy*I was not sure what the 5th line means and am curious. Could you clarify?
I think a comma is missing after "talk" in the next line.

*Fairy*The last verse I find has repeated ideas though I can see you want to emphasize how different this person is.*Smile*

*Fairy* The bits of rhyme and assonance (vowel sounds repeated} really add to the flow and soundscape.

*Fairy* I noticed a few glitches for me: It is preferred habit to capitalize "i" to 'I" though there is a trend for effect. The word "flys" needs to be "flies".*Wink*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your romantic interlude. I appreciate the sentimental tone. *Smile*
Thanks too for sharing your expression. Keep on writing and take what makes sense to you and leave the rest! *Heart*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
727
727
Review of Dear Me 2017  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hello . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as an extra judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Your letter began with an intriguing question for you to consider! I like the positivity and open endedness of the query and how it invites expansion beyond the old mind meme. It is like appealing to the muse. Wonderful way to begin!

*Fire* I really like the way to straight talk to yourself and use meaningful quotes as inspiration. I know that would appeal to my self! *Wink* Your targets are specific and having them restated with clarity near the end in a list is emphatic and makes them easy to find when rereading this letter later! *Thumbsup*

*Fire*You add humour and give suggestions of how you might approach certain goals! It shows that you are perhaps already activated to go for it! *Heart* Intertwining principles to guide you, like not pleasing others, acknowledging your changes and being aware of where you still down yourself, is effective too.

*Smile* The writing was coherent and easy to follow. I did not notice any major glitches. I wonder about using the word "try" as I was recall Yoda's message of NO try, Do or Do not! *Laugh* It feels like a heavy word and really if you ever try to stand up... how do you do that? You either get up or you don't. I have also read that "try" can really mean that you won't--kind of like an excuse. Interesting new ideas I play with myself. "do you best to...review" etc. *Wink*

*Fire*Way to go with a firm and encouraging tone which speaks from the heart of who you be! What else is possible beyond the mind's preoccupations? Go for the dream!

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*

eyestar
For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.
728
728
Review of Dear Me,  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hello Jenndoss . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as an extra judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Wow! This letter is eloquent and I enjoyed the way your language flows as if the year's goals are happening as you speak! Quite a creative curve. *Smile* Your goals are specific and cover different aspects of life with an overall intent of balance.

*Fire* I can sense the tone of growing enthusiasm and self confidence that you are instilling in yourself as you vision the future. The voice is authentic as you shared so vulnerably. It was interesting getting to know some of of your story. I had to smile when you said now your teen is a teen and it is not such a shock as when your first one reached teenhood! *Laugh* Wisdom as you go along.

*Fire*Your viewpoint has idealism with a good dose of practical elements that makes the vision realistic and acheiveable. *Thumbsup*

*Fire*One glitch stood out to me: In the second last paragraph "fear of failing. Your perception.." the latter line hangs by itself. Perhaps the word "and" would connect the two phrases. *Confused* or to emphasize both points make the line direct as well. eg "You dump your perception.." or something. *Wink*

*Fire* Your letter to you is encouraging and positive and shows you know yourself and what appeals to you. The futuristic affirming style of expression has a meditation vibe--as if in a dream---that you can hold in place as you travel. *Starstruck*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*
eyestar
For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
729
729
Review of More Fool You  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Star* Hello THANKFUL SONALI Now What? . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as a judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Oh wow! This was a fabulous read! I loved your sense of humour in the way to talke to yourself. Such personality! Entertaining as you reveal what goals you would like to get moving this year. It was fun for me anyway!

*Fire* The writing is lively with an enthusiastic voice and I liked the way it flowed as ideas popped as you continue the conversation! The alliterative images were brilliant. eg:oodles of ostriches in the oasis" etc. Very motivating way to say move on! "bovine poop floats". *Laugh* *Laugh* You rock!!

*Fire* Your chosen targets are specific and purposeful. I like the way you unfold how it could be done with ease by showing it in the way to write it. The whole experience in the letter is so immediate. *Thumbsup*

*Fire*This letter made my night and I think yourself will be inspired and motivated by your sense of humour. A nice comparison to the more serious theme of goals. Yet, if there is not fun in them, it is harder to stick to them. *Wink*
Thanks for sharing yourself in this way. I like your style. Keep dreaming big. I think I would be inspired by your self talk. *Starstruck*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision in such a creative way. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
730
730
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hello Dr M C Gupta . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as a judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Wow! This is a lovely letter to read and I learned alot about your faith and the Hindu tradition. Your voice is authentic and warm to encourage yourself in your true calling.

*Fire* Your writing was pleasant to read and kept my attention as you share your truth with self in a vulnerable way. The style was tigthly woven with details to remind yourself of your journey and the meaningful experiences that lead to the Now! I love the simplicity of your intent: ways to peace. It is indeed a practice. *Star*

*Fire*I had to smile at your first line where you say "consistent record". I could so relate to that! Our ego certainly wants to show its great plans! Yet without the true heart, all comes to not. *Heart* and your line about Trump too. *Laugh*

*Fire* Your images of the balloon of ego and the bursting is dramatic and vivid.
The blessing at the end is a wonderful way to wish your self well on the journey and gift you the reminder of singing praise! This letter could be a beautiful memoire too, worth keeping. *Starstruck*

*Fire* The vibration of this note adds positive energy to the world as well as you. What a kindness! *Heart*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr* Blessings on the journey of wisdom.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
731
731
Review of Dear Me - 2017  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hello 💙 Carly . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as a judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Wow! This is a spectacular looking letter with a positive vibe and creative spirit! I really enjoyed the opening free poem which sums up your feeling about this new moment. The motivational song links at the end add to the inspiration of your letter. *Star*

*Fire*Your voice, tone and writing is appealing and was easy to follow. You have some really interesting objectives lined up and I like the way you have categories to show a well rounded picture of life goals.

*Fire* I was totally inspired and can see you moving forward in specific steps and how you want to challenge yourself. Vocabulary was well chosen and you kept up a positive yet practical voice. Good luck with the teaching --I know many are in the same place as yourself. *Smile*

*Fire* Your ending toast was brilliant and entertaining as well. I like how you celebrate yourself. Way to shine! *Starstruck*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
732
732
Review of Dear Me  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hello QPdoll . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as a judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*Wow! I so enjoyed the tone and heart in your letter as you spoke with yourself. *Heart* You focus on the positives and address the doubt with kindness and encouragement. I like that you are Proud of you! *Thumbsup*

*Fire*The style is easy to read and well written. As you share your specific goals you harken back to past trials and successes to build a confidence. You have indeed rocked! It feels like you do indeed have a vision of what you'd like to acheive.*Thumbsup*
I relate to entering contests as well.... can be tough yet if I look at it as a way to grow and to contribute to contest owners as well, it is win win! *Star* And not only for practice...but FUN!! *Hotair4*

*Fire*The opening line held vulnerability and openness which was appealing and drew me more into the letter, curious as to how you would converse the first time.
Well done. Your letter followed the parameters of theme and word count with specific things to do! I felt that the word "should" was heavy and makes me want to say "who says". I would have liked more uplifting term like I desire that you would, or I suggest...*Smile* Just a point of view! *Laugh*

*Star* I delighted in reading your letter and could take some advice for myself from your words. *Heart* Keep on having fun and be who you be.





*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
733
733
Review of Dear Me  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hello Ms.Magi . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  I am happy as a judge to offer my comments! *Delight*


*Fire*I loved your humourous first line as I think the same thing. Everything is a success anyway! Your outlook is practical and shows a lot about your wise self. I am sorry to hear of your loss and wow, what a wake up call about best laid plans! Your response:"flexibility" is wonderful and has an easier vibe. *Thumbsup*

*Fire*Your goals are specific and feel manageable. As you go you can even break the largeness of them into doable bites and feel the success of each step! Might be fun to add those in as you go. I see happy check marks! *Checkr* I like how your intent also involves others and that what you chose makes sense for your lifestyle. I feel for you about the messy house. LOL I can relate.

*Fire* A few glitches caught my eye!
"cowards way out" needs to be "coward's way".
"the first one is almost ready" needs a period. Then begin "It just needs.."
It might be easier on the eyes to read if you put space between paragraphs. *Wink*

*Fire*I appreciated the wise lesson from your experience here. You teach as you create your steps! *Starstruck* Flexibility would help us not be so hard on our judgements of self too. *Heart*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. Good luck with the jewellery and cleaning in the year to come. *Giftr*

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
734
734
Review of Dear Me 2017  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* Hello Quick-Quill . Thank you for entering the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  contest! I am happy as a judge, to review your piece with a few comments on your entry. *Delight*


*Fire*Wow! I really enjoyed how you specifically advised yourself on your writing objectives, using both ideas and references to past successes. The creative notions like "using objects" like the glass and some specific questions about storylines are valueable even for other readers to consider. *Thumbsup*

*Fire* You make a wonderful case for having a writing schedule just like a work or home schedule. Why not? *Cool* You know how your mind works.

*Fire* The tone is kind and purposeful and the intent seems practical in nature. It really suits the subject matter where you are giving power to where you want to go with your writing. I like how you praise your results to bring them to mind and lubricate the gears of your craft. Starting on a positive note and using words like "suggest" keeps it light. I would perhaps drop where you use the word "need" as it gives a sense of "must" and "neediness" instead of desire or invitation. *Smile*

A few picky glitches I noticed:
The third sentence hangs there. Maybe a comma or semi in the line before will help connect it. *Wink*
In second paragraph: "WDc" could be "WDC" , "a long ways.." I thought should be "way".
In paragraph 3, I wondered about dropping the comma after "Writing anything" as I think it continues into the the next part well.
In paragraph 5, "it's contents" needs to be "its".
In paragraph 11, do you need a comma after "Most of all"? and in the next paragraph comma in "Then, in January..." *Wink*

*Fairy*It feels like you really want to encourage you to increase writing focus and having specifics gives me the idea that you can indeed jump right in..and then leave time for the muse to play, once you are engaged. Magic happens.*Starstruck*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision. All the best in the year to come. *Giftr*

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
735
735
Review of Odin's Eye  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya HuntersMoon! Thanks for your generosity in "Mad Hatter's Tea Party " . Here is the review from a package you won. *Delight*


*Fairy3*I found this while exploring the Unicorn lairs in rainbow galaxies.*Starp* I enjoy tales of old and the ballad form suits this folklore theme of vikings.

*Fairy* This is brilliant and I could really enter into the story and see the gathering you mention in your introduction. The first two verses set apart to give a back story is helpful and clued me in to what whould follow. It wet me me up as one of the listeners. *Smile*
I was a bit confused what the refrain was at first. I assume it is the one beginning with "the tales are old.." but I think it could be more clear if you somehow separate it from the next verse as it took me awhile to figure out, given the non italic of the first part.

*Fairy2* The story-poem was well developed within the parameters of the form and was a delight to read aloud. The imagery was detailed and the mystery haunting! The idea of the continuing battle is cool. The title and name of the ship is alluring and shows the culture of the piece.

*Fairy* The chosen vocabulary was thematic and effective in creating a smooth flow and soundscape. The use of techniques like consonance, rhyme and assonance added to the coherence and cadence. I like the turn of phrase in "bright shone each shield and blade," and the sound and run on flow in "The Gods sent snow and ice and storm" as it mimics the idea of constant battering as the Norseman go on! *Thumbsup*

*Fairyr* The story is coherent though I was thrown a little by the second last verse at first.
They have the ship but them winter came and they watch still. I thought maybe that the early winter was a punishment of the gods and the verse would have come before they found the ship. Two verses repeat keeping look out.
But then it made sense that they would still keep a light for any shipmates. Just my vision I guess. It felt out of order. *Wink* It does fit either way.

*Star*I was entertained by this well crafted tribute to Viking folklore. You showed both the courage and certainty of the warriors and the sadness of the Odin's end, leaving us with a mystery of the crew's fate. It reflects an ancient way of thinking. Well done!

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and Pink Unicorn Reviewers everywhere. *Starp*
Pink Unicorn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
736
736
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya Huntersmoon!


*Fairy3*I found this while exploring the Unicorn lairs in rainbow galaxies.*Starp* I saw the plea from newsfeed far and so flew down to do more than *Star*! *Wink*

The sorry plight of the poet here is one familiar to a seer,
or doodle bug with a magic muse that imagination did enthuse.
Your weaving drew me into your vision without me making a decision.
Enthralled by vivid imagery and by the laughing unicorn plea
my muse was entertained, amused and by no glitched was confused.
The trickery of pink unicorns your humourous poem now informs.

Your quatrains are formed so well, complete with a rhyming spell.
So fun to read with room for pause, commas clear in every clause.
Referring to OZ gives us a clue as to the spell overtaking you.
Your descriptions show a rainbow world as in your mind the visions swirled.
The last verse evokes a dream, in the unicorn the laughs do gleam.

Fluffy Pink (and every other colour of giddy) Unicorns appreciate your tribute. Laughing all the way...and ah... too bad about the blank page you destroyed. No one will believe you now without evidence. *Laugh* *Starp*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and Pink Unicorn Reviewers everywhere. *Starp*
Pink Unicorn
737
737
Review of St. Patrick's Day  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hi Chris! I am here with a third review as part of your "The 30DBC Mega-Raffle Extravaganza!" ! *Wink*

Oh, yay! St. Patrick's is coming up and I saw this cool poem so here I be! *Shamrock* Limericks are fun and it is such a great idea to use one to honour the Irish!

*Shamrock*Your formating is right on with appropriate syllable and rhyme scheme. It has a happy tone and brings a smile to think of the poet with his shamrock. I wondered if the shamrock was the "guy". LOL

*Shamrock* I am not sure if punctuation is required in limericks, yet I feel adding it would add to the drama.

Thanks for sharing this bit of fun! *Gold*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
Click to go to WDC Power Reviewers
738
738
Review of Problem  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hi Chris! I am back with another review from your winning Package in the Raok Raffle! *Gingerbread*

*Cool* Wow! this is a moving expression and your application of the prompt words is brilliant. The theme of addiction is such a relevant one for many and showing that it can be changed is so inspiration. *Thumbsup* The idea of "angel" in a bottle is profound and finding the true angel in inside is the happy key.

*SuitSpade* The tone is sincere and personal and the images convey the message in a vivid way.
I wondered if punctuation might add to the potency and give us pause to take in the steps of the process. The free style suits the emotional content allowing the poet to be free to share the experience. I feel others can relate to this message and perhaps gain a peek into possibility. *Heart*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **

739
739
Review of It's Wintertime  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Fairy*HI Chris. I am here with reviews from your winning package in Roni's Raok Auction! *Delight*

*Snow4* I enjoyed envisioning the wintery image your words evoke with the comparison of the warmth of a cozy indoor scene with the next one outside. *Thumbsup* The notion of the warm heart of family is precious one too.

*Snow3* The repeating line of the rondeau form fits the theme and the tone is appreciative of this time of year. The rhyme is well done though I understand that the form is supposed to have only two rhyme sounds throughout. *Confused* This has a variation with "parts", "burner", "fill", "run" and "outside" as rhymes. I wondered about it.

*Snow4* I really liked the interesting rhyme choice of "burner", "turner", "learner". *Wink* It is interesting to emphasize the joy and "heart" message by adding the line "no anger to hide". *Cool*

*Snow2* This is an engaging expression on revelling in winter fun with loved ones. It evoked my memories of childhood days in the country! *Smile* Thanks for sharing your craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
740
740
Review of ~Velocity  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hey Stained! OH my gosh. I see you are coming back and your item popped up in the read and review page! *Smile*

I enjoy Acrostic poems and thought your topic was unique so here I am. The dark nature of the poem is evident! It was lively to read aloud with an effective soundscape. The flow of words was dramatic and the tools of assonance, consonance were used well.

Your lines for each key letter began with weighty words that were active or descriptive and carried forward the energy of the voice.

Was the use of periods at the end of each line a choice? I see where some lines could easily lead into the next with comma or semi. But perhaps you added the stops on purpose. *Wink*

You capture the emotional experience in a vivid way. Even the font colour adds impact.
The key word is well illustrated and makes sense for the theme content. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
741
741
Review of Vision of Hope  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya Snow! This lovely poem popped up on the Read and Review page! *Smile*

I have not heard of this type of poem and the name of it certainly suits the theme you chose as it speaks of hope like a beacon. *Smile* I appreciated the positive vibe and message that your dream illustrates.

It was comforting to read with its soft sounding flowing rhymes like "peace", "cease", "harmony", "free", "ringing" etc. The rhyme scheme was balanced and the form was well composed. Thanks for the author's note on the form.

I wanted to put a comma afer the word "Humanity" in verse 2 as I had to reread the line to get the meaning. I also wonder if the word "watch" and "continues" needs to be in the past tense to be in line with "I heard" at the start of verse 3 for consistency. *Wink*

I like how you mention the basics of no war and "paying rent" as those are two main concerns in the world and end on the higher views for human kind.

Thanks for sharing this hopeful vision and your well crafted weave! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **

742
742
Review of Last Flight  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Kerri, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your lovely poem! *Fire*

Wow! You really have a wonderfully unique expression and I like your choice of form! I have not yet managed to do the Rubyait! *Smile*

*Dragon* I enjoyed reading this weaving aloud for its effective soundscape and vivid images. The use of present tense is interesting and makes it immediate. I wondered at the word "disturbed near the end. Is it used as past verb or an adjective? You also used "lost" as the water "climbs" so there is a mixed tense happening. *Wink*

*Dragon* The personification of the ocean, breeze and water add drama. Your idea of why the dragon disappear is so unexpected! Well conceived! *Thumbsup*

*Dragon*The rhyme is well managed for the form using thematic vocabulary and interesting sounds. Consonance and assonance with some alliterative bits make it fun to read the sad themed flow.

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your stellar vision! Good luck in the contest.

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
743
743
Review of The Promise  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi huntersmoon, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your expression! *Fire*

*Dragon* Wow! This is a dramatic tale and I enjoyed the dragon characters. You really show his emotions well. It is amazing to get this whole story from the prompt.*Thumbsup* I liked the wish message at the end. If only... dragons are still waiting.

*Dragon* The verses are balanced and it was pleasing to read aloud with its rhyme, rhythm and imagery. The idea of the wise dragon and the magical spell. "a faded memory" and "not even history" is brilliant line.

*Dragon* The vocabulary was effective in creating the time with words like "sacred place", "keep", "sage", "oracle". I think you need a comma after "spew". It is interesting to have his mate worry about his soul being lost because of hate.

*Star*The personification of the dragons is well created and believable! I enjoyed the tale though it was sad to think of the end of dragonkind and the waiting for renewal! Hope reigns--which fits the symbol of the egg in the prompt. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Good luck in the contest.
Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
744
744
Review of Passing the Egg  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi chris, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your sonnet! *Fire*

*Dragon* You really have a flair for this form and your response to the prompt picture is delightful. I never thought of a mating or marriage ritual. Cool idea. *Cool*

*Dragon* I enjoyed the clear image and steps to the rite and the rhyme scheme rocked. I really liked "confer" and "complete" with "fete" though I think the latter word is not a rhyme unless you mean "feat" as in a task. Fete is a celebration but is pronounced with french short e sound.*Wink* I liked the "coal bed" as it made so much sense. *Laugh*

*Dragon* For a short poem I think you need a bit more variety of words as you repeat "egg" and "council" in close proximity. Something to consider. *Smile*

*Dragon*I notice "dragon's" in the second last line is possessive with the apostrophe and I wanted to ask the dragon's what? *Wink*

*Star*The poem has a happy tone with a touch of romance that suited the sonnet form! *Thumbsup*
Thanks for sharing this lovely vision!

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
745
745
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Fairy* Hello Megan. I am popping by with a review as I can't believe I missed this edition! *Shock*

*Heart* Oh, I enjoyed reading this valentine's edition and the picture of Darcy I had not seen before.
I really like the salutation using Janeites!

*Heart* I had not idea there was a commemorative coin in Jane's honor and a sculpture too! *Shock* I never really considered how old her novel was! Wow! Almost 200 years old! That is amazing longevity and a tribute to her popularity. *Thumbsup* You always manage to share some new tidbits. I liked your thinking about what a wedding would be like. What a dream. *Smile*

*Heart*I had heard the name of Jane's favourite author but have never really looked her up. It would be interesting. *Smile*

*Heart*Your newsletter is organized and the paragraphing is effective with each one considering a different topic. The pictures add interest and colour to the letter and shows off lovely art works and links to thematic items. *Thumbsup* I think the instances of Valentine's need to have apostrophe before s. *Wink* I look forward to hearing more about the Austin celebration too.

Thanks again for sharing your knowledge and love for Jane, and for updating the rest of us!*Starstruck*
Write on. *Quill*

eyestar
*Starbl* *Quill* A Write One, Review One Review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  *Quill**Starbl*

Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop
746
746
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*HI Donkey Hoetay! *Smile**Gingerbread*

*Wink*I found this funny poem on the "Queen of Comedy Challenge" ! The title is evocative and the content is very amusing! I love the personification of the letters is brilliant. The voice of Q is plaintive describing many ways she cannot get free! Going to Qatar was a cool solution!

The verses are balanced as a quatrain form and the rhyme scheme consistent with interesting words! Imagine using "quixotic" as a rhyme. Fabulous! *Thumbsup* It was lively in tone and fun to read aloud. I had to smile at "my grammar"! *Laugh* Good play on words. The ideas of divorce, stalker, restraining order and "cleave" etc serve effectively to create the situation. *Salute*

*Quill* I wonder if you need a comma after "space" and an apostrophe in "its" to show possession of the tail in verse 4.

A delightful read with original content that is rather humorous. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
747
747
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Astralrose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* I found this intriguing title on the Read and Review page. It is evocative and I like the idea of "fragments" like a puzzle pieces of life. *Thumbsup*

You used the prompt words in an imaginative episode. You set up the character and have us wondering who is talking to. Good hook that kept me reading. The speech he makes gave me the idea of his intelligence and philosphical interests.

I enjoyed how you kept the mystery to the end with the twist! I only had one idea that there was something amiss when the listener did not answer him--- I wondered if he was sleeping, or sick, or in hospital. At the end I go back to the inner debate line at the first. Good leading.

It is truly a flash type of item. I assume they are at a hotel and you leave it open as to whether he had been in the home before --or something recently happened. The wife did not seem surprised. Fascinating.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*
Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
748
748
Review of Noel Surprise  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* HIYA Jatog the Green! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I enjoyed reading your Christmas poem and the idea of surprise fits with the magic of the theme. I liked the premise that the adult gets the surprise-as is seen as a mystery! *Smile*

The experience is described vividly with details about the scene.
The poem was fun to read and well written. The rhyme is excellent and I appreciate the effort it took to get all the rhymes with "eyes" in each verse. Brilliant.

The poem has a definite form though there are a few syllable counts that do not match. It did not detract from the flow and meaning. *Wink* I see this is a Cramp entry so it is wonderful creation in such a short time!

I had a smile when he pinched himself, and wondered why he would have to take the cake to the lake to avoid flies---as it takes time for them to gather and I did not get the idea that the cake was that old. *Wink* It adds to the mystery.

Thanks for sharing this entertaining tale with effective word wizardry. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
749
749
Review of Rugged  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya Ben! YAY! I see that you are one of the Queen of Comedy Jesters for this round!*Laugh*

I so enjoy limericks so here I am. I find humor challenge to write but I like to laugh! *Smile* Your opening note is interesting too--and isn't it just like the English language. A rule..and then an exception! I will say I knew that one!

*Rolling*Oh my gosh! This is too funny! A great play on words. The word "rugged" as one syllable so fits your joke and makes sense used as a verb instead of adjective. Brilliant! *Salute* I burst out laughing. and the reading it with one or two syllables works!

*Fairy* The limerick is well composed with intact rhyme scheme and the 8-8-6-6-.. er 9 at the end.*Wink* A little leeway worked here for drama! The pause in the last line works to give the impression of shock!

*Laugh*It was so fun to read your entertaining poem. Thanks for sharing your gift and teachng us a little something too. Ah the magic of words! *Starstruck*
750
750
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya W.D. Wilcox! YAY! I see that you are one of the Queen of Comedy Jesters for this round!*Laugh*

*Snow2* The smooth flowing title is clear and appealing, giving us a clue as to the poem theme. It was fun to ponder.

*Snow4**Laugh* Oh this is deligthful and you did a fine job of story telling til the comical last verse! The images were vivid as you described the sequence of events. I could imagine the frolicks and all I can say is BRRRR! Not something I would ever be interested in!*Laugh*

*Snow3* It was fun to read with its consistent rhyme. I noticed one off rhyme at the start. *Wink* I wondered about your repeating the word "dirty" so close in verse 1. The first instance may not be necessary. *Wink*

*Snow2*In verse 2, the third and foruth lines struck me. teh 3rd line is passive voice and personifies clothes. A neat idea but I wonder if a direct active voice would be better to stay consistent. Also in that verse--the second last line, I felt the comma was not needed as I wanted to read "played' with the next line. Otherwise it seems repetitive. "In a little game" would sound better too as you use "we" and "our" in the next line.

*Snow3*The verses are balanced and I like that the last verse is shorter as if to sum up the situation. It holds the twist and evokes the most laughs! *Thumbsup*

*Snowman* Thanks for sharing this unique comical vision. It made my day!*Star*
Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2,545 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 102 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/30