I felt this needed more work. It seemed alittle rushed and it needed to be more 'colorful' in words. It was like the color grey on a page. You have a good story idea though...just try to expand on it.
Good Luck!
I feel multiple things about your s.s. I really liked it, first-off...and you were right...it is scary...although I felt it was rushed and could of been so much more scary..I have found that making the readers wait for the outcome...the haunting conclusion...makes the whole story that much more eerie and creates a sense of dread.
That being said, I loved your ending...very creative. You are a great horror writer!
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