Cool story, and very nice imagery. I only found one error, in the second paragraph on the second to last line it says, "where she hd fought..." hd should be had, right? But other than that minor error great story.
I think this is quite a good essay, it has good depth and detail about your journey as an aspiring writer.
However, in the second sentence is seems to run on, so my suggestion would be to put a period after "world". Then on the second line where you say, "...and fights the evil bad guy..." perhaps instead of saying 'the evil bad guy' you could say, "...the sinister antagonist...", (or instead of antagonist you could say villain, etc. but it is up to you) maybe it's just me but 'evil bad guy' just doesn't seem to have the same flow or effect, but it is up to you, and you can ignore my opinion if you so please.
Then in the first paragraph on the last line the word "though" is seems unnecessary and almost as though it shouldn't even be there, but that is just my opinion.
But overall it was really good, I don't think there were any spelling errors, just watch out for run on sentences. Good job.
Great poem I truly enjoyed it. I love poetry and I also love to write it, but sometimes I find it hard to like and even understand what other people mean in their poems. This is not the case when I read your poem, it was crisp, fresh, and easy to understand...I loved it! Keep writing, because you are good at it, and talent like yours should not be wasted.
I really enjoyed your Poem, it was simply amazing and inspiring. It is so true and to the point. It is eye opening how true it is how we tend to judged other people and put them down, yet when people do that to us we are so a fended. You wrote an amazing piece, and I think that you already have a very good ending. Great poem, Great job, please keep writing and sharing.
I really liked your poem, it was a great and excellent piece. Although there were some things that if I were you I would consider changing, (but it is completely up to you, and it will still be a good poem if you don't want to make any changes.) Instead of using the symbol for and, I think it would be better just to say the actually word. Then where it says, "O traveler, wont u come to me?" I think it would also be better just to say the word, "you". Then my only other critique is to use punctuation.
But other than those few things I think it is a really great piece. I have been looking for some poems that other people have written that have a lot of depth, description, and emotion but it has been very hard to find poems like that. However yours was very good just what I was looking for. I love that you give the poem from the lakes perspective. I hope you keep writing, because good talent shouldn't be wasted.
~Silent Writer
Wow that was quite deep, very emotional and given from an interesting perspective, one that I've sort of thought about but not really, very good, I like it.
That was quite the piece, I liked it. :) It is very Deep and has a lot meaning to it. I really like the part where it says, "It seems timeless, yet to it, time is meaningless." a great piece, keep sharing and write on! :)
This is a great piece, but it has left me with so many questions and I have this desire to know the answers. What does this girl look like? Why is she hiding? Why is she so scared? What does she pull out of her drawer, and why does it bring her joy? If you are going for a short story that leaves you with many questions, then yes this would be a good approach, but if not then I think and personally love to describe my characters. I really do love to go into great detail, yet leave room for the reader to let their imagination take its own flight and path letting them fill in the blanks. Over all a really good piece, write on and please continue to share!
~Silent Writer
I must say I was absolutely glued to this piece, my family was asking me to do something but I had to wave them away so I could finish, the Heartbreak sonata is simply amazing. It was quite sad, but like I said amazing, and I love the piano it is such a beautiful instrument. Your word choice and title was excellent, great job and write on! :)
it is a great poem I personally like the part in the middle where it says; "almost dialed Your number from my phone, Forgetting that I’m now alone. When you’re alone you can’t share, Not stories or photos of life or any affair." I like it because that seems to be how I am. Again I say a great poem and keep sharing. :)
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