|Hi, I'm reviewing this story at your request!
My overall impression is that this is an amusing story about a blob from outer space taking over the planet, starting with the main character Carole. It reminds me of the old movie The Blob. In fact, the way it's written is also fairly movie-like. I think there's a lot of good description and detail and some moments of humor throughout. I like the stomach stretching scene. This story has potential, although I do think there is room for improvement.
It seems like the Blob and Carole have a lot in common, in that they're both extremely ambitious and power hungry and want control. They actually seem to get along, even though it's kind of a host/parasite relationship. I think the dialogue could use some work in places, but the characters are good.
The plot, although a little bit predictable, is still entertaining. I think the ending works, but I kind of wanted some karma in the end. I was hoping that Carole would have a moment of regret when the Blob completely took over her and she would lose control over her body to the Blob in the end. I think that would be pretty ironic.
I noticed there are many sentences missing punctuation, so I recommend checking to make sure every sentence ends with a period or some other punctuation mark. I noticed several other punctuation or grammar issues as well, for example:
“I’ll show you all what I’m capable of”. I’ll create an amazing piece of work and gain all of your respect”. She thought angrily to herself
You end the quotation marks twice here. Also, as a note, the period at the end of the sentence should go inside the ending quotation mark. This probably seems nitpicky, but these things can be quite distracting from the narrative of the story itself. I would go through the story with a fine tooth comb to catch any grammatical, spelling or punctuation mistakes.
I hope this review helps!