|I really enjoyed this piece. I do like the fact that it wasn't broken into stanzas, albeit the fact that it made it a tad bit harder to read.
I suggest that this line: "For the right to awake with the light", you change awake to awaken. Not a necessary change, but something I think might benefit the sentence.
Expanding on this piece in the future might be a good idea if that's something you're interested in. It's a fascinating topic and I'd love to read more of it!