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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aturner
Review Requests: ON
94 Public Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
historical fiction, historical non-fiction, speculative fiction, mystery, thrillers, and action/adventure.
Least Favorite Genres
Solid romance. I do not mind romance as a secondary story line, but not as the main focus.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, poetry, editorials, novellas, essays
I will not review...
Strict romance- a romance as a sub plot is fine, but not the main focus of the story, erotica, anything with a christian proselytizing theme
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading your introduction and first chapter to Shrunk Into His Hands.

On the introduction to your story, you laid out the plot you expect others to follow and introduced the important player- Alex, Max, and Jake. You also let potential authors in this interactive what was allowed and not allowed as far as rating and such.

Your first chapter shows how Jake was found, and what size he was.

I would suggest that you attention to verb tenses and potentially relying on too much passive voice (although some is required for the intro to the story).

Keep dialog tags to a minimum is another suggestion.

All and all, an interesting premise for folks to participate in.



When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *ExclaimR*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - NOT APPLICABLE as it is a story in progress

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.


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2
2
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Dragon2**BurstB*Welcome to the Spring Into Fantasy Raid hosted by the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group*BurstB**Dragon2*

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Your piece, entitled The Genie Made of Snow, was an enjoyable read. You did a good job in describing how this ordinary boy built his snowman. His pride in the snowman was visible through the description of creating the snowman's features.

I was a bit confused by your title and the brief description. The title leads a reader to believe this was simply not a normal snowman, yet it was not even hinted at within the story's text. I am also curious as to what the important truth was that the boy learned.

A good start though, keep on writing!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Dragon2**BurstB*Welcome to the Spring Into Fantasy Raid hosted by the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group*BurstB**Dragon2*

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This looks like a wonderful contest- combining the art of telling a story and the lyrical rhythm of poetry, ballad or epic!

The rules are quite clear for potential entrants, and you clearly list the potential wonderful prizes (award places given depending on number of entrants).

The one thing, and it could just be me, but the bold typeface is a bit difficult to read when it is continuous. I actually had to cut and paste the text into Word to finish reading in comfort after I was about half way down.

I might give this a go next round!


4
4
Review of Grunch!  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Dragon2**BurstB*Welcome to the Spring Into Fantasy Raid hosted by the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group*BurstB**Dragon2*

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I loved reading your short story entitled Grunch!

I have always wondered sometimes...I've been charged for a missing book that I KNOW I returned before...you really might be onto something here!

All joking aside, this was a lovely little read for bookworms.

I was a bit confused at the ending- why was she looking/feeling around the bin when it fell behind the bin?

Loved the last night though! Keep on writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Dragon2**BurstB*Welcome to the Spring Into Fantasy Raid hosted by the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group*BurstB**Dragon2*

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I enjoyed reading your short story entitled A Cold Winters Night! I enjoyed your introduction to Neal and the unnamed female protagonist. You set the scene very well. I was a bit stunned at the entrance of McKenzie, Max, and Allen. And curious too- what did they hit that forced them off the road so violently?

There were many hints about the protagonists- either medical or police/military experience or perhaps they were just preppers- especially with their bunker.

The story felt very rushed with the arrival of the three teens, combined with how long had passed once they were in the bunker until Neil, McKenzie, and Allen emerged out of the bunker and out of the attic window of the house.

There was also some punctuation issues within dialog and title (should be Winter's) that could be tightened up a bit.

All in all, a solid beginning! Keep on writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of The Road of Life  
Review by Autumn
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading your Rondel entitled The Road of Life. I had to go to the link you included to find out exactly what a Rondel form of poetry is.

Your poem is a good reminder to take what life gives us and make the best of it- no matter what. As you say, even if the route is bittersweet or leads you sideways (story of my life, I think), to enjoy it.

Because, as you wrote, “Always does the horizon’s promise entreat”.

Great job, I am hesitant to try to critique poetry but there wasn’t any suggestion I could make for improvement. Thanks for sharing.
7
7
Review of We Sit  
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an amazing poem. Simple words yet so very powerful and for those of us with aging parents and less than stellar family history, it speaks volumes to us. It also, for what the knowledge is worth, lets us know we are not alone.

I am not a poet nor all that familiar with grammatical rules regarding the myriad of forms, but it looks amazing in that regard to me.

The line, "We speak, yet we don't"...very powerful. Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Autumn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Since I won't be judging this round of Blink, I have no qualms about rating and commenting. I enjoyed this piece which told the tale, just as the definition of Blink asks its contestants to do- "Blinks focus on moments, alone, with the rest left to the imagination. They can be realizations, exchanges, places on the road, an extraction of a scene, the nuance of something we know to be more robust, but whose full story is told elsewhere.”"

Great job!
9
9
Review of A Fall Guest  
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love it! Thank you so much :)
10
10
Review by Autumn
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I enjoyed Dawn of the Phoenix. You not gave an epic poem consisting of perfect quatrains, but you did so with adding a great graphic and using the colors in your text. This completed a full picture- literary and artistically. Some of the lighter colors, the yellow in particular, is a bit difficult to read, but that is my fault in how I have the settings.

The couplet,

Navigates the world alone,
In the cosmos on its own.

struck me particularly. The Phoenix that signifies immortality through rebirth, is a lonely creature in it's life, it's death, and then it's beginning to continue the hopeful cycle.

Great job, and I look forward to reading more of your works.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of In Elysian Fields  
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading In Elysian Fields. The melding of Greek mythology and the work of J.R.R. Tolkien was a very interesting idea. I recognized a few forms of poetry in this short tale, but I am not a poet, so I am unsure if there is a seven stanza form with the alternating rhyme scheme that you used. If so, then I would say you offered a great example of that form. If there isn't such a form, perhaps you should lay claim to it!

I also enjoyed how Diana took advantage of the fears of Shadowfax and Pegasus, and used them to harness the equines to her service. I think that Diana had the greatest 'jest' of all and was the winner on this particular field.

Great job. I look forward to reading more of your work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this sequence of five sestat couplets. I find that that keeping the meter and rhyme going can be difficult while focusing on the tale you want to convey. There was no trouble like that in The Woman Behind the Mask- at least none I could see, reading the finished project.

I am glad that that the story was happy- so many fairy tales, at least the ones not Disney-fied, are not as pleasant to read. At least the cosmetically challenged older sister had a few things going for her- I enjoyed that second line in that couplet- 'but, she was clever and she was witty'.

The younger sister's reward for putting on that ugly mask, putting her own happiness on hold for her sister, was to be given the prince of her dreams. Great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your works.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of My first Poem  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading My first Poem. It made me smile and laugh. You certainly are a writer- with all the doubts, hopes, and desires that come with this affliction (or blessing- it certainly is a mixed bag). Your use of couplets to impart your feelings about embarking on the quest of writing a poem for a contest and becoming involved in this great community here at WdC, was a great choice. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to your skills. Welcome to WdC and I look forward to reading and reviewing more of your works!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Welcome Home  
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed your flash fiction piece entitled Welcome Home. Flash fiction is a great exercise to sharpen a writer's skills and you did an amazing job with Welcome Home. You set the scene, imparted an important message to the reader about what a big game, a homecoming game is about and what it means to the players- far more than just the time spent on the playing field with an important rival, far more than what the average spectator sees. The only suggestion that I could make, that might strengthen the piece, would be with the title, perhaps using Homecoming, instead of Welcome Home, and that more of a personal choice that I would have made because I do see how Welcome Home works great too. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
15
15
Review of Mexican Standoff  
Review by Autumn
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I enjoyed your short story entitled Mexican Standoff. A short piece that packed a punch in the few words used to describe the scene and the thoughts of the two protagonists. The ending was certainly a twist, instead of mortal danger, perhaps they faced another type of danger, the danger of marriage. Great job! I would only change one thing, the sentence that described Paca as a child, it seems a bit awkward.
16
16
Review by Autumn
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
An amazing and grand forum!
17
17
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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I enjoyed reading The Treat...And The Trick. This was a great short piece that had a neat little twist. I noticed this was a contest entry and it reminded me of something that would be well received at the Daily Flash Fiction contest- all the elements of a story with a cool twist at end. Poor Fritz, at least he got to see a few trick or treaters before the vampire struck.

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of HOWLING HALLOWEEN  
Review by Autumn
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I enjoyed reading Howling Halloween. This was a wonderful poem, filled with vivid imagery presented with impeccable rhyming and rhythm. I loved the line "Witches, demons, and spooks galore"! You summed up the activities and lore of the night perfectly. Thanks for sharing this great piece.

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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19
19
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I enjoyed reading A Ghost Story. You took all the elements of a horror feature and arranged them in a compelling tale about Christina, her friends, and a fateful encounter with a Ouija board and a possibly malevolent spirit called L.B.. You didn't stop there though- most would have stopped with the terror, but you made it more- about Christina's future and what the encounter made her understand. I like how you brought L.B. into the mix at as she was driven away from the camp. Great piece!

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
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I enjoyed reading A Ghost Story for Halloween.

I enjoyed the introduction of Emilia, it introduced her but also gave a good glimpse into the the life of the protagonist. I loved how Emilia told them to 'get closer' as she began her tale.

The story of the ghost girl was brief, but set the tone and the ending was creepy when the ghost tried to pay with the the cotton stuffed in her corpse.

You set your protagonist up well, becoming so involved with the story that Emilia was telling, that something happened, that she seemed about to be visited something not of the world and then the story abruptly stops. I wasn't sure how the grandfather even fit into the story and how he ended up slapping the protagonist when I thought she was sitting with her brother and friends being told a ghost story.

It seems like the ending was from a different story and did not make much sense.

A very good start to a very vivid tale, though it could use some revision in the ending and with the grammar and punctuation.

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *ExclaimR*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *ExclaimR*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *ExclaimR*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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I enjoyed reading On Halloween Night. A poetic take on what occurs on many a street in many a city and town. I especially enjoyed the lines that talked about the werewolves and the question of what would happen if they didn't get meat and then followed by their being satisfied with candy corn. It seems as if the narrator is having more fun handing out treats and watching the costumed children approach than the kids were having. Great poem!

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*


I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Evil Wind  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading Evil Wind, and I will be sure to continue the story. The story grabbed me from the get go and did not loosen its grip, even at the ending. I grew up in a law enforcement household. While my mother is not a police officer, she was a data entry clerk (retired) at a local PD who spent a lot of time typing up reports. A career in any aspect of law enforcement invades a person's life right down to the core and affects their non-law enforcement friends, family, and especially the children. For awhile, I seriously considered and academically pursued a course that would have led to work in the field, but I managed to escape.

Your story taps a familiar concept, son (or daughter) following in the footsteps of a parent who was a police officer, but you managed to get right into your character's souls, especially Jack's. Either you come from law enforcement family or you exceeded your diligence in researching what would make a character like Jack and his father, Ben, tick. This is something I see many authors either skip over or barely break the surface of and it reflects in their story, and I will admit that sometimes I am guilty of it myself.

The setting and manner of the story was so real, so gritty, it reminded me of a hard-boiled private investigator story, but with the bonus of this actually being a police story- not only on the professional level, but the personal level of the character. I enjoyed the bit about Jack’s not being someone who cussed which also spoke to the ribbing between officers, especially between the more experienced and the rookies.

I also enjoyed your use of poetry between sections of your work. Great job!

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Glory  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading Glory. Wilfred Owen is one of my favorite poets! You captured the brutal essence of his war poetry beautifully in this poem. The last two lines packed the ultimate punch, one straight to the core of how history looks back on its wars- especially when a new war is brewing to start.

I didn't rate this piece for CPR because it is a poem (I need to make a poem review template).

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*


I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Shy of Tomorrow  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading Shy of Tomorrow. I was amused by the male protagonist's choice of reading materials, but I think he chose that aisle so he could look at Kylee! It seems that the admiration is reciprocated and perhaps Kylee will have a date. This was good piece and perhaps we shall see more of Kylee?

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *ExclaimR* (a few places where there should and shouldn't be commas)

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Blind Date  
Review by Autumn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading Blind Date. The contests where you have to incorporate a certain list of words can be very daunting and oft times the resulting story falls short because it feels stilted or awkward. This was not the case with Blind Date.

Almost two different stories that merge seamlessly into one... poor unnamed male protagonist when Rachel morphed into Rhonda... I am still laughing. Great piece.

When reviewing, weigh GSP and CSR (Grammer-Spelling-Punctuation and good Characters-great Plot-Resolution).


*Key2* - *CheckG*= meets expectations, *ExclaimR*= could use some work

Grammar - *CheckG*
Spelling - *CheckG*
Punctuation - *CheckG*

Characters - *CheckG*
Plot - *CheckG*
Resolution - *CheckG*

I hope my review helps you in some fashion. If you have any questions about how I review, please visit
 One star, two star, three star, four...   (E)
A brief explanation of how I rate items.
#2047792 by Autumn
.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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