More of a rant than a poem or prose. In the end stanza you gave us a glimpse into to the woman who was admired. I find myself interested enough to look her up. Find out more. That is the beauty of writing it educates, investigates and inspires us to know more ... be more.
It was a good poem.
The last line was superb.
I found i had to reread several times. I could not see the imagery of where it was happening.
The rhyme scheme worked very well.
If Ii were to rewrite it ... it may change the poem entirely.
Get rid of "on" in "on All Hallows Eve"
I would love to find a way to express the interruptions of "there's no reprieve
from Otherworldly tricksters" without changing the rhyme scheme. To make it clear you are welcoming "otherworldy tricksters" That would make the where clearer. BTW probably a typo Otherworldly should be otherworldly. The capital is jarring.
"so we carve faces in pumpkins not much, but it's somethin' " "not much" is jarring as well. To change it would require much more thought but it would create imagery. IE."a knife to make a face become something" " a vampire pumpkin maybe something" pretty lousy change on my part but i hope you get the idea.
I liked the 2nd and 3rd stanza.
I guess i am saying Great Poem but it requires more imagery.
Yep that is the truth. We try to remain silent but " The world could not allow such luxury. " Even with your health problems you have not stopped writing you have just stopped typing. A writers mind is a curious thing it never stops ..... dreaming, believing, proposing, most of all it is the most free mind of all.
Yes there was emotional envolvement with the main characters Billie, Mrs Johnson, Emma.
The emotional involvement grew as the story progressed. The superman reference flowed throughout the main characters. It included loneliness, strength and bravery and other emotions i have yet to identify.
Initially I was not sure would find interest in the story. Yet it drew me in until i could not stop reading. The character development was what drew me in but the timing of the introduction of the mothers death and then later Mr Johnsons death was jarring in an amazing and good way. It was reasonable for Billie to hate Mr johnson but to discover the impact of Mr Johnsons death on Mrs Johnson gave the characters believability.
Staying true to the timeline is a sign of a seasoned writer.
Superman flowed subtly through the story and the characters. The Sherriff was also a good foil showing the strength of the characters.
You stayed true to the timeline a sign of a seasoned writer.
Th ending required a suspension of belief.
I guess it is a sign of the times. Compassion is a rare commodity in this New World.
All in all well written.
Ummm not sure it is a great poem but it fits with my view of people in power. I read it 3 times so therefore it drew me in which is a sign it is well written.
The below should be a separate poem. I had none you fellow ask me about his poem. It was 3 pages long and contained too many thoughts. A chapter of a book, a paragraph, a sentence, are one thought or description. Most of all a poem is one thought or description. If it is not the write a book. I would have ended with
"Light the way for me
Such a long time I’ve been alone"
Time to write a book below
""Downtown there’s a thousand little people,
Going about a thousand little lives
Just a mess, all kinds of footsteps,
That all kind of pass me by
There’s a bunch of towers, all steel and stone,
Grabbing out like fingers at the sky
Dotted all up with a thousand windows,
A thousand points of citylight
Pretty machines all sleek and clean,
Just going along for the ride
Little worlds can end with a bang like thunder
Or fade out like a little sigh
Open up the curtains and stare into the sun,
Or hide behind the window blinds
One thing is certain when it’s all said and done,
It’s still a thousand points of citylight ""
Well written.
The conversation flowed with appropriate pauses.
You drew the reader in and held them transfixed.
Nothing was superfluous. Characters were adequately described.
There are not many that carry a story primarily through conversation. You did it well.
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