*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/beckyl/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: OFF
229 Public Reviews Given
233 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have my own style- What I found Worked Well; What Technical concerns I found, such as grammar or spelling; Suggestions for improvement; and Overall impressions.
I'm good at...
My reviews are generally pretty thorough, and I love to read almost as much as I love to write. I feel it's an honor to be trusted to share my thoughts about other authors' work.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Mystery, Comedy, Sci-Fi and Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Gushy romance, though I love plot lines within other genres with love/ romantic themes, fan fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Flash fiction, short stories, poetry.
Least Favorite Item Types
I love books but can't spend the time right now. I can handle chapters though, but sometimes feel at a loss for context.
I will not review...
I haven't met a piece of work I won't review yet. There isn't much I haven't seen for myself, or read about.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 -4- ... Next
76
76
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
I like the idea of your story - it seems you are painting a picture of a psychopathic woman who is just uses her friend and took her husband for granted. I like some of the expressions you use, such as the way you describe the weather and the detail about Dahlia's make up when she cries. Feedback on this one would be to really watch the starts and stops in your phrasing. You may a better flow with less sentence separations. Also I think you could go much deeper with your character background descriptions. The things you are talking about are pretty serious - cruelty toward her well-meaning friend; a decision to commit murder and a full fledged homicide investigation. I think that if you really spend some time on those things it could be a richer story.

Thanks for sharing this with everyone and keep writing!!
77
77
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, a really engrossing read. Seriously funny when you talk about who in the world would want to make up a story like that... I love how the description of the ritual of two men drinking in the morning, cozy by a fire just draws me into an intimate place where women normally never get to go.

The phrase that transitions the reader from observing with the main character to conversing with him: I looked out the window. The storm wasn't letting up.... right around there - may need a little editing. I felt you were losing some momentum there with the starts and stops. Also seemed to be too many commas? Clearly you are in a whole other level of writing than I am so, please feel free to toss out these suggestions!

Once again a really cool ending and a thrill to read!
78
78
Review of I Love the Rain!  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Rain is awesome! I like the simple tribute so such an amazing event. My favorite parts are: The very first line is perfect; I love diamond downpour; electric exchange.

My suggestions are: When learning a little about writing poetry I found that paring down my work to exclude words that don't convey any feelings or power can really improve your work. Like the two lines might be changed to It's volatility: Beautiful; and It's Energy: Invigorating. Just suggestions though- you did a great job!

Thanks for putting your work out there! I'm honored to have read this.
79
79
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, I'm so in awe of your skills. Your language isn't just descriptive and colorful, but planned and so purposeful. I hope some day to be as seasoned with weaving stories and words. Really good!
80
80
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I like the content of this poem a lot. The fear of the future for this girl is laid out in such a real way. My favorite parts are 'fine steel fire...'; the reference to the meadow and clean spring; and 'Her proud blood ran so hot it steamed.' Wonderful visualizations!

Suggestions: It might be really powerful in the first person. Also you might want to keep the word choices consistent with the context, like maybe find alternatives for the word empathy and the term skill of an actress.

Overall a really good work! Thank you for letting me read it!
81
81
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It's interesting, I'm in my forties also and was just reading over things I wrote twenty years ago, wondering some of these same things. I love how you used the italic conscience words to build a rhythm. It is a very nice memoir with no technical issues that I can find. Thanks
82
82
Review of Knock Knock  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
So cool! I will never never come to your house or look at a poster in someone else's house! Now this is my kind of story. I find it really interesting that you have readers listen in on just Angus' side of the conversation as if it were taking place on the phone. It leaves me wishing for the larger surrounding story but it's a perfect snap-kick to the brain.

Honored to read your work. Thank you!
83
83
Review of Shadow living  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: E | (3.5)
I have to apologize for being so short, but this flew way over my head. I read it four times and the images are really cool but the poem seems to sort of flit around a little. Maybe I shouldn't have read the description as a 'resolution' first? I'm wondering if the reference to ice and cold has to do with a guarded psyche or heart?

The turn- "'Cause if you mention liberty..." I absolutely love. It adds drama and is perfectly timed. I wonder if you could find a stronger verb than 'mention'?

I am sure I will be thinking all day about how a person would puppeteer the past!

I'm honored to read your work and I thank you!
84
84
Review by Beckyl
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! What a beautiful world you've created! Very cool and creative and I would buy this story! A few punctuation errors throughout- here are a couple:

“Sorry, Pluto answered,(missing end quote)
By your uniform for one thing (missing beginning quote)

that everyone seems to remember. (end quote needed)

When she returns to the locker there is a random end quote after one of her thoughts to herself.

You are clearly a real expert. I'm honored to read your work. Thanks!
85
85
Review of The Sound  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
That was funny and engaging to read! Your technical skills are perfect and your details are so interesting without being tedious. I guess it isn't the sort of story that invokes deep feelings- tears or fears- or has any major twists, but it was funny in places. It seems like something a person would hear on NPR. If you wanted to increase the funny factor a bit, I would suggest some sort of revenge or at least fantasy revenge in the main character's head on your evil landlady:O)

I am honored to read your work. Thanks so much!
86
86
Review of Have you ever?  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Damn! You made me sad and you made me laugh! Really touching poem that I can really relate to. I'm sure you have more experience in writing than I do (I'm a newbie novel writer) but I know good writing when I read it.
My only constructive feedback would be to watch your spelling a little more closely. Little slips decract slightly from the overall quality and punch of your message.

I'm so honored to be allowed to read this work. Thank you (I don't have many points yet so can't send any to thank you properly)
87
87
Review of "Waking Path"  
Review by Beckyl
Rated: E | (3.0)
This may just be a little over my head - I'm not the greatest poet, so I apologized if that is the case. I think that the feelings in this work are interesting. It seems like you are communicating a pride about a person's evolution and journey in learning. The part that is tough for me when reading it is the punctuation and changes in tense. For instance "Have been inspire the entire night!" I found that line confusing and wondered if it was a typo or just a new thread of thought. Same with "Self-discovering of sorts." It seems like the phrasing is a little off. I love the hopefulness in the piece!

I'm honored to be allowed to read this, thank you.
87 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/beckyl/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4