My brain skipped over the title and went straight into the story. I had the feeling I was missing a lot -- and then I realized this is Chapter 21.
Even still, a compelling scene. The action was good and not so over technical to cause someone to tune out or just skim it. Had to reread a couple of times to follow, but that might just be a me thing.
Having references to our world stuff in this setting at first was off putting, but then I realized that this is something that was probably explained in earlier chapters.
I would buy a polished and finished version of this book.
I have to say that I originally misinterpreted the first paragraph. I had to read it again to understand that the "wee metallic dragon bodies" were the earrings. I first pictured the character taking off and giving them to tiny, metallic-scaled dragons in her hand. Like, maybe she found freezing micro-dragons in the snow and she was trying to warm them up and gave them the earrings as a hoard to comfort them.
My mistake.
I think the scene needs some refining, but it immediately gets across that the character lives in a world with magic and she is currently in an unsafe place. A nice hook to make people want to know more.
I am not a writer or expert in poetry, so I can only say how it made me, personally, feel as I read it. I felt as if I was transported in a nostalgic journey. Like I should sigh and slightly smile at the end, like one dies when remembering things from long ago.
You have a nice concept here. I tend to only want to give positive reviews, but I think you might want to find a beta reader or two. Someone whose opinion you can accept and who will be honest with you, without just shredding the work. Again, the concept is good, but the way it is presented could use some work. I have often had that issue myself over the years.
Nice flash. Gives just enough info to draw in the reader, set the mood, and then the twist at the end, not only changes the tone but in conjunction with the earlier mood-setting, lets you know this has been going on for a long time. It would be interesting to see what kind of world and situations could be developed in a longer version.
A couple of notes: 1.) The term "classic rock" was not used until the 1980s, and included 70s music, so if the story happens in the 70s, then it would have been and "oldies station. 2.) Not sure where this takes place, but if it is the USA, then stalking was not illegal in any state of the union, until California passed the first law, making it so, in 1990.
This is a nice bit of flash fiction. It sets the stage and tells a story with a nice twist ending very well. It does beg to grow into a bigger story, perhaps a short story, or even a part of a larger novel, with more detail and in depth exploration of emotion.
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