|First, great setting and kudos for originality. You did pretty well with the ending. However this story would have been stronger if it flowed more smoothly grammatically.
I've listed the typos and one of the awkward sentences below.
I found the old man's madness difficult to read, cleaning up the grammar, will improve it dramatically... The end of the story makes clear why he's mad and ties that angle of your story up perfectly.
The kewpie doll is rather brilliant... The ant inside is original. Kudos. I think the piece would be a little stronger at the end if you said a little more specifically if you elude more to the ant being angry, perhaps crawling to look out the doll's mouth before tormenting not-God.
Also, I didn't pick up on the old man feeding the doll ever -- I may need to re-read it for that since the doll/ant must have been fed regularly.
It might also help to stress how the old man had come to love the doll in his madness.
Maybe it had been a father./Should read: Maybe it had been the father.
They hadn’t even put in a bag,/They hadn't even put "it" in a bag.
the room as piled high with electronics, /as = was
The idea of being.born.dead /not sure why the periods are there?
If threw it away, he should do it with honesty,/ If "he"...
pushing the knife handle God’s unresisting hand./... handle into God's...
No one could know what the old man’s insane thoughts./awkward - it should read either: No one could know what the insane old man thought. Or: No one could know this insane old man's thoughts.
begging the forgivenance he knew,/forgiveness
He’d kicked his own moped over before climbing aboard and puttering away./I don't know what this sentence means.
Member of the Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society
Review as part of the CSFS's Halloween Raid