|Hiyah! You are a good writer, clearly, and the subject was a good idea! One thing I noticed was the repetitive "said." A lot of writers have this problem at first, where they use only the word said.
Example: "I hope it doesn't rain all day," Alice said.
"No kidding," Her friend said.
"Maybe it won't," Alice said.
As you can see, it sort of becomes a little more strange than intended. I'd suggest using words light "sighed" or "screamed" or even just using "said" with more evocative language.
Example: "I hope it doesn't rain all day," Alice sighed as she pressed her head gloomily against the window.
Her friend Bella dropped her head into her arms. "No kidding," She muttered.
Alice decided to be optimistic, and gave a little shrug. "Maybe it won't?" She said hopefully.