Wow! I really liked it. The opening dialogue between Ben and his wife set the stage nicely. I really wanted to know what was going on. The suspense grew throughout the rest of the piece.
Nice job overall! I look forward to reading more of your work.
The creepiest part was Mikes calm demeanor. Especially the last question.
Hello Samii, I am privileged to offer a review of your story.
What I like: - it is a very touching story about parents and children and how easy adults can injure a child. A good reminder to all of us to take special care with them.
Some suggestions: The translation from Spanish to English is good enough for me to understand the story. But some more help with translation is needed.
Hello, I am pleased to offer a review on this piece. I absolutely loved this. What a hoot!. People who love cats (me) or those who don't will both get a kick out of this. Very cute piece. This is wonderful! please write more.
Hello, I am privileged to offer a review of your piece. As a children's adventure story I think it is very good. You do an amazing job of setting the scene and the characters. You don't have a lot of description and yet I see it all very well in my minds eye. This is key for children. They want to "see" it all but they may not wade through long descriptions.
Also the story moves along at a good clip. With interesting new things happening continually. As a well illustrated children's book I think it would be grand.
The only thing I might change, and this is purely my individual opinion and should not be taken as criticism. Rather than the desire for a "new" mum and dad, I think I would have the children hold out hope for a reformed mum and dashing new hero of a dad.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.24 seconds at 12:27pm on May 03, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "