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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cowboyslim
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9 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Review by CowboySlim
Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked the way you used the mirror's comment repeatedly until the person looking into the mirror started to see the beauty that she really is. We are all insecure. We all have our doubts and fears. The hardest thing to admit is that we like ourselves in spite of our flaws. Thank you for sharing this.

Slim
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Review of A Tree  
Review by CowboySlim
Rated: E | (1.0)
I sense some feelings here, but there are so many grammatical mistakes, it lost my attention. I found myself trying to figure out what you were trying to say, and I eventually gave up. I'm sorry, but there is a pre-publish button on here, perhaps you ought to use it and proofread your work. Then, you will be able to change your work so the mistakes don't lose your readers.

Just my humble opinion. That and two dollars will likely be enough for coffee at your local coffee shop.

Slim
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Review of Melted Butter  
Review by CowboySlim
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Nice story. Too often these days, it's, "Well, take care of it...", 'it' meaning the baby, and usually, 'take care' meaning 'get an abortion'. What if George Washington's mother had had an abortion? Okay, enough on that.
I really feel Leroy caved in too easily. He seemed resolute at first, whatever Cynthia was bringing up, he was going to derail if it didn't fit his plan. A man with that attitude, at least in my experience, will deal with the arrival much the same as if someone had taken his freedom, nay, even his life from him. Guys are like that. And this story could have been three or four pages longer and still held my attention if you had explored that innate reticence.
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Review by CowboySlim
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This is a nice sentiment to put in a poem. I was a little put off by some of the words seemingly in the incorrect order, as:
In the first stanza, the line "But where I can be ?" seems to me to be asking "Where can I be?" and thus was hard to understand when read as written. Perhaps it was a typo, but I found more instances of similar transpositions, and it distracted me from the feel of the piece.
There were the forgiveness lines, first, asking, " My love, forgive me", and then later on, "I forgive you"; the blame game was hard to follow, and detracted from the communication of feelings. Maybe I am over-analyzing, but, to my mind, a poem should be as easy to read as a paragraph, only the structure of the words on the page to betray the fact that it is, indeed, a poem.
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