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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/crowarrowinc
Review Requests: OFF
197 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to go as in-depth as I possibly can in my reviews, and I am forever tweaking my style.
I'm good at...
I'm definitely good at spotting grammar, usage, and spelling issues. But I am also very good at giving constructive criticism and not just criticism. I like to point out all the things that are good about an item, while also giving advice on how to improve it.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Supernatural, Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Non-Fiction, Technology, War
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Flash Fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays, Articles
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 ... Next
1
1
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: Excellent title


*Check2* Overall Impression: I loved this story! For dialogue only, it was quite excellent!


*Check2* Plot: Well done.


*Check2* Style and Voice: No complaints. I love the sarcasm and teasing throughout.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: I wanted to put on a winter coat just to read this.


*Check2* Characters: I like the characters and would love to read more about them.


*Check2* Dialog: Excellent!


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: I found no issues here.


*Check2* Suggestions: None, except to please keep writing!


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: “I use your toothbrush.” (I cracked up when I read this line!


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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2
2
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*CheckY* Title: I don't feel the title appropriately conveys the meaning of the story.


*Check2* Overall Impression: The story itself is amazing!


*Check2* Plot: Excellent plot.


*Check2* Style and Voice: Your style and voice are superb.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: I was fully able to see things from your MC's perspective.


*Check2* Characters: I'd love to see more development, but for flash fiction I believe it was very well done.


*Check2* Dialog: Not enough dialog to critique.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: I found no errors.


*Check2* Suggestions: Perhaps finding a more suitable title, but otherwise I have no suggestions.


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "If I do not wake…then the world is mad and God save us all."


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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3
3
Review of Gray  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: Simple, but appropriate.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I really like it. It reminds me of a poem a friend wrote many years ago. It's definitely different, but I love the style.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I believe that this works perfectly.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I love it. You did an excellent job here.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I found no issues.


*Check2* Suggestions: Just to keep writing. I really like your style of writing.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "An all consuming feeling, That paints your world; your heart."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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4
4
Review of Sky Below  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: Interesting title


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I really like it.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I feel the form and format are excellent.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: You definitely are able to express the topsy-turvy world.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: "a fire" should be "afire" and you have a typo in the first line with the comma.


*Check2* Suggestions: Just to fix the items above. I love the poem overall.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "I reach for the Sky's embrace"



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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5
5
Review of Poetry  
for entry "Cold
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on review request. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: An appropriate title, to say the least.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I definitely feel the coldness of this poem, which, I assume was the intent.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I'm actually fine with the way this was written.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I can definitely see the brightness of the blood.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I found absolutely nothing wrong in this area.


*Check2* Suggestions: I don't have any suggestions at all. I think this poem is perfect as it stands.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "The air is as cold as my soul"



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Wild Anxiety  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on review request. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: I think your title is rather appropriate for your poem. It's an excellent fit!


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I was able to relate to your poem and think it was very well-written.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): Excellent rhyme and form.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I really loved the imagery that was brought forth with your words.


*CheckY* } Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: There was only one flaw I found with grammar and it was only punctuation. "Truly I should, have faith, perk up, be bold," should be "Truly I should have faith... perk up... be bold." And I would capitalize the next line.


*Check2* Suggestions: The only suggestion is mentioned above.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "I long for something with coursing bright blood."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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7
7
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (3.0)
Normally, I would do a very thorough review, but the last line caught me off-guard. I keep laughing and shaking my head when thinking about it. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Haunted  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: Perfect title


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: You made me cry (shame on you).


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): Perfect form.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: You have an ability to weave words that create emotion. That is a wonderful talent.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No issues


*Check2* Suggestions: Keep writing.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "These wounds are still fresh"



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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 Invalid Item 
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9
9
Review of Morning breath  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: I'm afraid to say that it doesn't suit your story very well. I understand where you were going with it, but it doesn't really work for me.


*Check2* Overall Impression: I actually really like the story concept.


*Check2* Plot: I enjoyed your plot. It would be interesting to know if they ever get together again.


*Check2* Style and Voice: Your style is good


*Check2* Scene/Setting: The setting could have used more descriptive voice here.


*Check2* Characters: I liked the characters.


*Check2* Dialog: I enjoyed it, but it might have been nice to see use of quotation marks when the characters were speaking. I didn't have any trouble following what was dialog and what wasn't but it could be confusing to other readers.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: A few typos here and there, but nothing major.


*Check2* Suggestions: Expand on this story. I'd like to read more. And, perhaps, use quotation marks for dialog.



Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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10
10
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's just a background story! It wasn't supposed to make me cry for Pete's sake!

This was very well written. I love it. You have obviously thought a lot about your characters. I look forward to reading more in the coming weeks. Thanks for sharing!

Angela Death

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11
11
Review of Birth and Death  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your story on Random Read. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: A fitting title.


*Check2* Overall Impression: A very sad story. I didn't see the ending coming at first. Of course, I should have realized that it wasn't going to be light and uplifting when I read the title.


*Check2* Plot: A very decent plot.


*Check2* Style and Voice: You told the story superbly.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: I enjoyed your setting.


*Check2* Characters: Ethan was such an interesting character. You built them all very well.


*Check2* Dialog: What little there was worked nicely.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: I noticed a couple of typos, but nothing major.


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "She looked in pain, the rictus frozen on her visage forever."


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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12
12
Review of Letter To GOD  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm extremely impressed by this letter and by your wonderful insight into the state of the world as it currently stands. I hope He listens. I hope we all listen. I hope that every person on this planet can see the world the way you see it. If they could, then this world would be a much better place to live in!


Angela Death

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13
13
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read a Newbie. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: Love it! It's also my favorite line of your poem.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: It's really a rather beautiful poem.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): The flow of your format is perfect. Each line gently brings the reader to the next line.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: You have an amazing artistic voice.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No issues.


*Check2* Suggestions: None, just keep writing.




Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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14
14
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely love this! It is so cute! I can totally see a cat saying all these things. It's so fun for me to read things that are from the perspective of our precious pets.

Angela Death

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15
15
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Overall Impression: Um, wow! I loved it! I'll explain in more detail below.


*Check2* Plot: What a great start to the character creation process!


*Check2* Style and Voice: Amazing! I can only hope to do as well as you as I write my own novel.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: You did such an amazing job that I felt like I was seeing everything through Rose/Gabe's eyes!


*Check2* Characters: Just amazing! I could even picture Touchstone/Alec, that's how good of a job you did here.


*Check2* Dialog: Perfect!


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: Absolutely no errors that I could find.


*Check2* Suggestions: Just let me know when you are done writing other things related to this story so I can read them!


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "Rose took his hand, grateful for the greeting and the physical tug that propelled her up the final step onto the landing." I liked this line because I could relate to it. It seemed very appropriate.


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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16
16
Review of Hide and Seek  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: Excellent title!


*Check2* Overall Impression: It's a great story! I look forward to reading a conclusion.


*Check2* Plot: The plot is a scary one, especially for a mother, like me.


*Check2* Style and Voice: I have no issues here.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: Not a problem here. I could almost see the school yard and the classroom.


*Check2* Characters: You described your characters quite well.


*Check2* Dialog: Not a problem here.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: I think I noted a couple of typos, but nothing major to speak of.


*Check2* Suggestions: My question is this: If the teacher didn't find Jamie in the school yard and was panicked, why did she go back to the classroom instead of the office where she could call the police and Jamie's parents? It just didn't really make much sense. Other than that, your story is quite good.



Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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17
17
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: It's a good title for this poem.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Overall, it's a good poem, but it has a few grammatical issues, which I will get into below. But, I liked it overall.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): Your form is quite good.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I have no issues here at all.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: A few things: First, if you are going to capitalize the first words of your sentences, then you should capitalize the word "I" throughout your entire poem. I know some poets don't capitalize "I" but they are usually consistent throughout by not capitalizing anything. Second, there shouldn't be a space between the last word of your sentence and the punctuation mark. Finally, I don't believe you intended to use the word "treed" which is the past tense of "tree". I'm pretty certain you meant to use "tread", but then you lose your rhyming pattern.


*Check2* Suggestions: Fix the grammatical issues stated above and you will have an amazing poem!



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

Angela Death

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18
18
Review of ETERNITY  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your story on Random Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: It's a good title for this story.


*Check2* Overall Impression: I cannot begin to tell you how impressed I was by your story! I was honestly surprised when he entered the camp.


*Check2* Plot: I loved it!


*Check2* Style and Voice: It worked perfectly.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: You did an excellent job describing your scenes. I could see all the soldiers standing at attention in their various uniforms. Very well done!


*Check2* Characters: Your main character specifically was very well written.


*Check2* Dialog: The dialog here worked rather well.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: There were a couple of missing commas, one run-on sentence, and one instance when you should have used a semi-colon instead of a comma, but these are trivial things compared to the wonderful writing of a beautiful story.


*Check2* Suggestions: Maybe fix the grammatical issues, but otherwise I wouldn't change anything else. (Although it would be kind of cool to see what happens after this story. Maybe make a series out of it.)


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "Standing next to the tent in a robe of purest white was my hero of heroes, my Lord Jesus Christ."


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Angela Death

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19
19
Review of Pain I Regret  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Okay, seriously! Thanks for making me cry! I couldn't help it. This story just made me so attached and it was heart wrenching that you couldn't have your own baby! Is this a true story? If it is, I truly feel for you! I'm certain that one day, you will have your own bundle of joy to love and care for and to screw up just like the rest of us parents do.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Soar  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Random Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: I like it. It fits your poem quite well.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Beautifully written. Very well done.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): Perfect, I loved the way each line flowed.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Wonderful!


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Absolutely no issues with spelling or grammar.


*Check2* Suggestions: None. Just keep writing! I loved it!


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "Rest comes for the weary, dreaming amid the stars."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
NOTE: I have not read any of the other chapters of this novel.

That being said, my first reaction is "Wow!" You had me interested from the beginning to the end! You have a wonderful way with words. I am very interested in reading the rest and when I have time, I will do just that.

Thank you very much for sharing this with us!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Al-Ma'arri  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very well written. Loved it!


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I'm actually quite impressed by the form, rhyme and meter. I don't think I could have done it.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Very good. I really enjoyed it.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No issues here.


*Check2* Suggestions: None, you did an excellent job!


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "And when it came to his opinions, he never stayed his hand."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't have a lot of gps because I am saving up for an Upgraded membership, but here's a little something. Hope it helps.
24
24
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: It's okay. I, unfortunately, have only read chapter 6, so I have no idea how this works with the rest of the story.


*CheckB* Overall Impression: It definitely needs some work, but could be an excellent story.


*Check2* Plot: I'm not going to comment on plot since I have not read the rest of the chapters yet.


*CheckB* Style and Voice: You need to be careful to remain in the correct tense. I noticed a few flaws in this area.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: You seem to have a knack for setting a scene, which is definitely good in stories such as these.


*Check2* Characters: The characters seem to work, but I'm going to refrain from giving an overall impression until I read the other chapters.


*CheckB* Dialog: You need to be careful here. Your dialog is good, but you need to remember to use the correct punctuation when writing dialog. For example: "Lexus...my bride." Vincent whisper before falling to sleep. Should be: "Lexus...my bride," Vincent whispered before falling to sleep. This was a frequent problem throughout your story.


*CheckB* Grammar and Mechanics: You mention the name "Vincent" 49 times and "werewolf" 29 times in a 741 word chapter. Be careful of overuse of words. This is very difficult to read. You should try to go back and correct some of these issues as well as the ones I've mentioned before.

I look forward to reading the other chapters from you. I believe that if you work on the issues noted here, you will have a very interesting story. I hope this helps!


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!
25
25
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I found your story on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*Check2* Title: An interesting title. It makes me curious enough to read the story behind it.


*Check2* Overall Impression: It's definitely an interesting story, but it has me somewhat confused.


*Check2* Plot: I'm not sure what the plot is yet, but this is only the first chapter. Perhaps the next chapter will give more details?


*CheckB* Style and Voice: I'm having a bit of issue with the present tense being used, but that's because I don't normally read stories in the present tense. You seem to maintain it throughout, so there is no issue there.


*CheckB* Scene/Setting: Some of the scenes are confusing, such as the near accident. This scene needs work to better describe what just happened. Also, where did the pizza come from?


*CheckB* Characters: You switch a lot between "Joseph" and "stepfather". At first I thought that they might be two separate people, but, obviously, that's not the case. I would specify immediately that her stepfather is Joseph. Also, what happened to Jakob? It seems like you just forgot that you started with a different character. Perhaps doing another scene for him at the end of this chapter to explain that he will be playing a major role later in the story.


*Check2* Dialog: The dialog worked well, I have no issue here.


*CheckB* Grammar and Mechanics: There were a few problems with grammar. I would go back and read it if I were you to correct these issues. There were too many for me to list here, and I don't want to seem nitpicky. I know how first drafts can be.


*CheckB* Suggestions: Work on the issues listed above and I believe this will be a superb chapter. I look forward to reading future chapters!


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "The electricity wants to be free, to escape from its glass prison."


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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