|You have a gift with rhyme and fluidity. There's no denying that. The themes you wanted to express also seemed very laudable, which is always something I appreciate in poetry.
Now the following is supposed to be constructive, but criticism of any sort on poetry is like walking through a mine field... full of broken glass.... and poisonous snakes.... with tiny hypodermic needles attached to their heads. Tangent aside, the point is that there's a million and one ways I could offend poetry writers, so just to be clear, poetry is a reflection of self, and therefore only the individual can truly judge his/her own poetry. (translation, I'm probably full of bs)
Now, as I said before, I liked the themes expressed, and the general gist of the poem, but though I did follow the poem and understand it, it didn't move me. If you want to move people, your going to have to use a couple tricks to encourage an emotional response. One of these tricks is a hyper focus on concrete details that seem unusual, yet tell a story we can empathize with.
For example, " twirling upwards, green tendril of the ink stained skin, scribing softly a rose tattoo on the nubile wrist; the secret treasure of an innocent girl"
Now that's not that great and its also of a different style, but the basic message I'm trying to get across is that you should to be specific and unusual. Most of your verbs and image words are Dancing, happily, moves, touches, sadness. These words are good, but they have been used a lot. You need to give your reader a bit of a jarring to get a bigger emotional response. Just be more specific, more unusual, and try to keep the great fluidity and rhyme scheme you have going on.
But again, thats just my personal style. I already think this poetry is good, especially if you are new to poetry. You have the theme, you have the sense for fluidity and rhyme, and you have a good understanding of how to use language; now all you have to do is learn the little tricks that turn good poetry into great poetry (says the mediocre poet).
Hopes this helps and is not discouraging. Did I survive the minefield filled with snakes with hypodermic needles attached to their heads?