This is okay.Sadly the rhyme scheme,although very clever is tedious to read.There is no theme either.Even a fable can have a lesson to learn.This is very well constructed but goes nowhere.Its just a tale without any point.
This is filled with exaggerations and nonsense.If you didn't sleep or breathe you would be dead.You cant keep loving someone for ever because you won't live for ever.This makes Love some horrible entrapment worse than Corona Virus.I think what you really want to say is "like". I like spending time with you.Anyway you believe all the hog wash in the movies about love and miss out on what it really is
This is a very personal account based on fairy tales.Sadly God doesn't exist.Jesus didn't exist.Santa Claus does exist however so does the tooth fairy.Better luck in the next life.Some thoughts don't start with a negative action its confusing.Instead of "have you ever not shared." Try Have you ever kept quiet about your beliefs.Just my humble opinion
This is a fun read.The problem is that the author is in a hurry to tell the "joke".I know this becasue the author doesn't name the child. Without a name this is just stand up comedy not literature.
This seems like a rap song.Sadly I hate rap songs it is just forced rhyme without a central message.The poem keeps referring to blindness and plight but doesn't explain anything.I blame rap music and social media form the degeneration of poetry
This is very imaginative however I found it a little confusing.What is CC where are these people and what are they confronting.If you say acting on core beliefs you need to tell the reader what they are
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/david2014
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:02am on Jun 16, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
