I like the fact that you give us a decision of what Pokemon character we can add, and I think the majority is right that this is a perfect interactive story. I would add on to your story, but unfortunately I can't bacause of how much I need to change about my profile, and I need to persuade a lot of people to add on to my interactive story. I'll eventually come back to interact.
TC & KW.
I like how the end is sort of a secret, where there are just a few questions that may need to be answered. I could see it as a tv show parody more than a script/play though. I like Karen's attitude, it becomes a little deranged at the end, unless Gerald was actually alive. I don't know if your trying to say that people in management are crazy, or if Karen is just a manipulative woman just testing how people can survive. Good Job.
KW
I finally found your portfolio Levi, and I like the fact that you put pizza, and katrina on here.Sweet dude. Just rate and review a handful of other people, and your fellow members will start to recognize you. Near where it says "logout," click on (nw) to view your messages, the number nearby should indicate how many messages you have before you click it. Man, aren't you tired of Mark trying to get us to go to wetpaint, weak dude. The people on this site are as cool as cool can get. Well I can tell you that you figured out how to make items faster than I did. Write on my brother from another mother.
I personally think that Medusa is kind of cool, and some people may think she's hot. I like the way you have been studying Greek Mythology, and how you portayed what influenced Perseus to whoop Medusa, but I think you could have made it a little longer. Other than that, it was pretty cool.
Write on my friend.
TC
I think it's a perfect story. I like that you included the phoenix and the wizard, 'cause when you put them together, their a perfact combination. At first I didn't really get it, but I realized what it was about on the third or fourth paragraph. If you keep on writing, I just know you'll one day be a very successful writer.
I mainly like this story, bacause I was personally born in Houston, Texas, and now live in Arkansas. I like the way you gave the woman a hint a reality, and to know how it would feel to be a widow. It sort of reminds me of that news report where a woman had about that many children and lost her husband in the snow, don't know his name exactly, but unfortunately he, never came back.
Keep writing!
That's me, I'm full of paranoia. I'm so paranoid, when I go to the icebox(refrigerator), I'm afraid I might find disembodied heads or something like that.
You did a pretty good job of comprehending it too.
I think it's great that Writing.com allows its members to contribute to the site, and can spread the word to potential writers all across the globe. Whoever created this item really knew what they were doing. And in the end, it proved a successful and beneficial part of the site. Good job WDC.
You could have had a little more variety, or maybe added a few more stanzas. I believe the last line was the best line of them all, 'cause anything that has to do with being set free is a great literary topic. I think you should have made the fourth stanza rhyme with the second stanza, since you made the sixth and eighth rhyme. But overall, it wasn't all so bad.
Good details, and nice use of adjectives. You could have added a little more to your interactive story though. The boy seems to be an orphan, living in a ditch in arizona somewhere, hoping to get his girlfriend to go places with him, or something like that.
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