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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/drake8
Review Requests: ON
93 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Treadmill  
Review by Drake
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem. Communicates the change that the Pandemic has put upon you. Looks like a person who was industrious with their schedule and work. In the three parts they end with days are the same, days are the same, days are not the same. Yet in these examples the person seems to be doing the same thing each time in all three parts. As I think about it I realize that it is a mindset that this person has. The work of the before time gave a schedule that made the person feel comfortable. The after state is that without the work schedule, the person has devolved sort of into a creature of home habit and is not as happy. 5 stars.
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Review of I Did It My Way  
Review by Drake
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very enchanting story in a weird kind of way. It really highlights how people that live on the streets are human as well. That they had lives and lived as well as they could. Or in the case of this story, not as well as they could. Living in Los Angeles I see this story play out every day as I drive around. Then, the fact that it seems she died brings in a new layer to this story. That maybe the man was talking to a dead person or imagining the dead person being alive and filling in the backstory. Great work.
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for entry "Dream House
Review by Drake
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This was the first time that I have read a non fiction piece on Writing.com. This is a well thought out article that details your favorite parts of architecture. In fact, it looks like it gives a deep dive into what your dream home would look like. Very well done. I am not a grammar curmudgeon as I like to read for pleasure so I wasn't looking for any grammatical errors. It's just not how I have fun when reading on Writing.com. What I did take away was an appreciation for architecture and thinking about how one's home connects to one's spirit. THAT is a great take away.
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Review by Drake
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem. My first thought as I read this poem was about the clash of old and new societal needs. The myth of the leprechaun is to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. With this poem, the gold becomes wool, a product used to sell on the open market. The old and new coming together to form the story of value.
As far as the technical aspect of the writing. It seems fine. I'm no English major. I understood the meaning of what you laid down so the writing is clear.
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for entry "Storyteller
Review by Drake
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, what an amazing poem that transcends space and time. I haven't read a poem this good in a while. I love the passage of time in the poem. How it tells the story of the storyteller all the while allowing the storyteller to revel in telling her/his tales.
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Review by Drake
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice little poem. You accomplished the goal of the prompt and made it personal as well. I like the photo you added as well. Cheers.
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Review by Drake
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a cool story. I was wondering if this was the origin of the Cambell soup company's signature soup. Good descriptions of the son and mom, I was wondering why the son didn't do well during the game and was expecting the story to go in that direction. You created some characters that make me want to know them more. Thanks, Drake
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Review by Drake
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was fun to read. The writing style reminds be of the Reader's Digest short stories I read when I was a teenager. That is a complement by the way. The style is easy to approach. The characters are relatable as well. Both of them are in step with the other are fun to read about. The twist at the end is fun and I was surprised so thanks. Drake.
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Review by Drake
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'd like to see them eat.
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Review of life on a stage  
Review by Drake
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading this sonnet. Particularily stanzas three and four. They take me to a solid place where I can visualize what could be going on. The use of contrasting imagry is something I enjoy also (Fairgrounds/closet). Nobody got the boy, the spectators broke out in cheers. I love that line. It could be the spectators in the crowd, or in the boy's head. Nice. Drake.
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Review by Drake
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A horrible moment told in a hopeful way. I really like the use of italics to denote past events. I've used that technique sucessfully in my book 'The 13th Man.' The main character is a strong woman. Evidenced in her keeping the toy and ready to bear the guilt she feels for the death of her son. She is a writer, and as a writer I can only imagine the work this woman will produce after such a catastrophic event in her life. Your piece describes the death of a character, but the birth of a writer. Drake
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Review by Drake
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a highly emotional day and I'm glad it went by without a tragic incident. I feel it's finally worth again for me to give it all I've got. I even wrote a short poem right after watching the inauguration. "Invalid Item if you feel like seeing my gut reaction to this moment in time.
Glad your day was brightened by the event. I hope the tears were of happiness.

It is time Americans feel united in making the country strong and all work together on making it happen. The election of this president is one step in the right direction. Now it's on each of us to do our part.

Drake
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