|Oh, my! That was soooooooooo cute! You have such a gift. I loved it.
I noticed a few minor errors. A few times you left in an extra word or so. Let me illustrate with the first two paragraphs:
“Polly wants a limousine,” Frances, Father’s parrot always squawked. And every time she did that, Peter Cottontail, Mother’s cat, would meow in response, and my little brother Joey would immediately fall to the floor in giggles. Then the dog, Simon Says, would start to bark and chase after Peter Cottontail. Round and round the couch and chairs they’d go, and if Father wasn’t around, up and over them as well. It was quite a circus!
We older children mostly stood around and watched, half-bored with having seen it so many times. But if there was a visitor, we’d watch through their eyes, and find ourselves laughing once again.
Let me see, I thought I saw another paragraph that was slightly rough. Let me see if I can find it.
This might be it:
Then there was Leonard. Leonard never stopped reading. He used one hand to turn the pages of his book, and the other hand – never bothering with utensils (which Leonard had declared interfered with his ability to feel texture, size, and shape of food,) he tossed the meal into his mouth like a basketball player at a gymnasium.
I am finding it is very easy to let extra words slow down the telling of one's story. I'm trying to learn to edit out these words. And that's all I saw wrong with this item. As I said, I loved it!