|What else can I say about this piece other than sheer excellence? My eyes were so nailed to the computer screen that I needed the back side of the hammer just to get them off! Infact, I felt intertwined into this story from sentence number one:
"It was not a good day for Aunt Sarah." To the very last paragraph:
"This time, Aunt Sarah allowed me to see her tears fall before turning away again. Quietly facing the setting orb, she would remain standing there, her hands on the wooden railing … watching time elapse in slow motion."
The description in this is simply breathtaking. I would give ANYTHING to write this well.
I love the dialogue and how you made me, the reader, feel as if I was right next to you and Aunt Sarah experiencing everything that you were experiencing as the story continued to unfold itself.
The most intense moment in this story for me was this one because it was both a selfness act of love between two people, you wanting Aunt Sarah to be cared for by you and Aunt Sarah not wanting to burden you. You are both truly very wonderful people:
When she turned to face me again, her figure was spectrally glowing from behind by the setting sun. It was mesmerizing. She looked like an angel approaching me. But her face depicted nothing angelic about it. She looked stern, harsh and unwavering. “Listen to me,” she demanded. “My decision is final. Tomorrow, I want you to contact the caregiver agency to review their records and start sending pre-screened and qualified applicants over for interview. I cannot stand mediocrity. I want someone who is intelligent enough to carry a conversation with me; who can manage my administrative needs; who knows the area well and can drive anywhere …you understand how important that is for me.”
I hope this review helps in whatever way it can. If you're too busy I definitely understand but do you think that you could review my poem "Invalid Item" . It is a 'thank you for teaching me poem' for my science teacher. I am going into the highschool next year(10-12) and want to write a poem for each of my favorite teachers. I have about five more to go and want to give it to them on the last day of school which is June 13th. I would deeply appreciate the feedback.