Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/entername5312/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Its a good start but I feel like it doesn't tell me the full story. It's very descriptive and if it was longer and continued on this path, the story would be really interesting. It just stopped abruptly for me. Also you could have just put one u and a lowercase b when you said Buuuut. Other then that well done
Interesting sad but interesting
I'm a little confused about the poem. Maybe it's just me. Rhyming tends to make poems more interesting. Something about this poem isn't clicking maybe try adding more emotion into the poem.
This is a nice piece. Little confused with the formatting like why is most of the poem centered while the first paragraph is not? Maybe try adding rymes and such
Very sad piece. I feel bad for the speaker. It shows how suicide affects the people around them not just the person who killed themself. The lines were a little short maybe try bunching the words together so its easier to read
You might want to try checking the grammar of your story for example instead of "she keeped exploring" use "she kept exploring" often times if you use spell check they will catch these errors. Very interesting concept reminds me of a game I play called brightridge due to all the shapeshifting that I do in brightridge. Overall you can improve the flow of the story but it's a very good concept
It's very interesting. I like how the ending ties back to the title.The only thing is that some of the story can be expanded on and you can explain what the reference is because I didn't get it. Overall very interesting story
It's a great start but it looks incomplete. Where does the map lead Adam too? Is it in the library or some far off island? The book is very descriptive and if your additional content is anything like what's is anything like what's written so far it's going to be a awesome story
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/entername5312/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 10:18pm on Apr 26, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
