Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.
My first thoughts: I admire your approach. Connecting ancient times to current day is very important. I feel you made the connection, to those who already know these facts you speak of.
What I liked: You have taken on a very ambitious idea, and your trying to provoke thought in relation to mans deepest mysteries.
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.
My first thoughts: This is inappropriately rated.
What I liked: Closing it from my view.
Final Thoughts: It looked like a big block of scary text, unsuitable for minors.
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.
My first thoughts: The title says Mom's poem. I wasn't sure what to expect.
What I liked: I felt a warm and loving connection between mother and child.
Hello,
I reached this item by random review.
First thoughts: What is this?
To me, it looks like a paragraph and one sentence. Yet it's labeled chapter one?
You seem to have the start of a good story here, but cut so short. Anyone reading this would surely like to see it finished. Keep writing!
Hello,
I reached this item by random review.
First thoughts: Bummer she said no.
This story was fairly well told I felt. I also could sense the writer seemed to forget imagery, but later slide it in where applicable. The paragraphs need to be better organized and equally spaced. That takes away from your readers experience. Overall, I liked it. Good job and Write on!
hello,
I found this item by random review.
First thoughts: It lacked imagery.
Overall I did like the poem though, It felt like a story being told,
rather than shown. It was a great contribution to the community
as I am sure many can relate to this poem.
Hello,
I found this item via random review.
First thoughts: knowledge being handed down.
I don't often think of the "syndrome of expiration", but when I do, I drink a beer. No, kidding aside, it's part of life, to muse upon it, for much length is a waste of time that could have been used up, while your still here. I guess this poem does ground you for a moment. Well done, Write on!
Hello,
I felt your poem was short, but very blunt. You 'paint' a picture of someone doodling, wanting to escape there day. They would normally do so, as they like to doodle. But there mind is weighed down, the alone feeling tells me the was another involved but no longer around. Nice poem, Write on!
Hello,
I thought this calendar poem was creative, well thought out. Your descriptive lines made me want to see the pictures. While my creative eye saw your images. Good Job from that perspective. Personally, I liked it, and enjoyed the read.
Write on!
Hello,
I love the writers that tell you they found you by random review, I'm always like how original. With that said, I'm a regular here now, only infantile in my art. I have Big Plans and what have you's. My spell check hates me and the grammar police are trying to subdue me.
What I liked about your poem, it was short and simple. I honestly don't know what it was about. The reason I liked short, I can't 'absorb' a lot right now, I have to let 'it' out. Your poem did provoke thought, it reminded me you worked hard on this piece and a few tips from me may make your poems more memorable.
Check for 'flow' or how well it sounds when you say it out loud. Also remember poetry is a lot more about 'showing' your readers or painting them a picture with your words. Those two basic tips will catapult your next poem.
When you get that urge to write, I give you two thumbs up. You have a gift, just polish it up now and Write On!
Hello,
Where to start...
First I probably should read when I'm so tired, do keep that in mind.
I found myself drifting out of your head. I have no idea what she really did other than ski.
Here's why, aside from punctuation Your words feel hurried, thrown together.
Your 'flow' is practically non existent. As many great writers here will tell you.
Sound it out, as in say it out loud, before you get proud.
I know the feeling when you just have to write, I've only been 1 week, not yet to the fight.
Keep writing my friend, it's one thing to get it out, it's something better when it comes back,
In praise form. ;)
Blade,
Very well written and composed. A very good read. Except for one thing,
"You two will bear witness, today is the day of reckoning."
Makes me want to growl when I read it. I'm no English teacher nor genius, but you make me want to growl! Nice. but you spelt it wrong I think, lol. would have been a 3.5 but now I'm growling you down to a 3.
Very well written I thought. You use of words is well, however in my oppinion, your got a little sloppy near the end. I kept up with your thoughts and emoitions. I struggled Near the end somewhere. I could really feal hear struggle, thoughts and acceptance of it all. Very good job. I'm not as forgiving as I was last week, I will still give you a 3.5. Great work. Keep writing please.
Kathlyn,
I have to be honest. You did a good job. I guess you have a struggle within? We all do, what's your struggle? I mean it could just be me, my heads twitches and jerks, it hurts from my last read. I'm a sensitive beast highly calibrated with no instruments for detection. I'm still new at this stuff so don't be offended please.
I need to write and reviews do help me, I thought your word selection was OK, could be better. I got lost because your punctuation suffers like mine. Careful with relying on word correct here, as piece and pierce are both words. You have skill in my eyes, there's no doubt. Keep on writing, that's how you get it out.
You know,
There's all these "tips" and "tricks" to better ourselves. Your writing has done it's job or served it's purpose, as far as I am concerned. It's changed me, how funny is that. I've absorbed exactly what I've needed, a small tidbit of the disease. Oh, and your writing "style" I know nothing about, for you see, this review is less about you and more about me. As for your work, I do know. One day your dreams will come true. With work that speaks to people, how could not you?
Heather,
The way you tell a story is wonderful. I'm not a huge reading fan, I do it sometimes with no clue why. You have given your characters life and form. I can see them when I read, the expressions good job. I thought it was very well written by someone who knows what they are doing. Have confidence in your work, it's truly amazing. I'll read more of your work as time allows.
Nice work!
It was my first read here. While I don't read as much as I should, this was an enjoyment for me. I felt it was very creative and it made me wonder, laugh. I thought it was well written and would surely pass it along for others to read. Good job, thank you for the read. :)
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