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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greatbluedane
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9 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Back to Dust  
Review by C.J. Winchester
Rated: E | (4.5)
The formatting is difficult to process - it would help if you separated the story into multiple paragraphs instead of lumping it all together. You did well with describing the old man's appearance and purpose, but I feel this takes away from the scenery of the story. However, a story like this needs minimal exposition, as it leaves the mind open to contemplate the literature by itself. Excellent work.
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Review by C.J. Winchester
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The poem feels disjointed - you jump from talking about people buying things for Christmas, to possible Christmas debt, to reminding readers about the origin of the holiday. I like the poem overall, as free verse poetry is my favorite style. Why should a poet be constrained by rhyming and structure? Anyway, it's a good poem. Merry Christmas!
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Review of Hello again  
Review by C.J. Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful piece of poetry. The use of slang gives a personal touch; this would make a pretty good song. Keep up the good work!
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Review by C.J. Winchester
Rated: E | (5.0)
Once upon a time there was a dog named Lucy. Everyday, Lucy and her human would take walks through the park and play tug-of-war. One day, Lucy's human and his family moved to a different home and accidentally left Lucy behind. Because of that, she went on a long, arduous journey to find her human's new home. Until finally, Lucy found her human's home and spent her days playing and walking with her human.
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Review by C.J. Winchester
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like the concept behind your story, and the writing style you've chosen makes it seem that much more personal. However, you have a lot of run-ons and sentence fragments sprinkled throughout the story. The story hurts to look at because of the formatting - I can't tell where one paragraph ends and where another begins. Your descriptive language was very good, and it made feel like what was happening in the story was happening to me.
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