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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/heathbar72
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12 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Memories Unmade  
Review by *hal
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Wow!!!!!!!!! wow! that is really really great! Its so...beautiful! so perfect and intense and flows so perfectly!!!!!!! Such a great choice of words and just wow! im so amazed! I love these lines: "I let you pass, you let me go, neither knowing that each time, each event belonged to us and to the unborn from us."-good job! write on!
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Review of The Photograph  
Review by *hal
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wow!...really just WOW!!!! I love it! very much! In different parts, especially the beginning, I almost feel like I was there! The imagry was so good! I could feel the cold and feel the warm sun that hadn't come yet! And it was so different than other things ive read before! Good job! Write on!
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Review of Darkness Vs Light  
Review by *hal
Rated: E | (4.5)
o! i love this one! its so great! this is one of my favorites! lol! but of course you already know that! maybe you should change the color of the red ones...to something more....i dont know. maybe a "the light is now off" kind of color! other than that i like how you added the color and bold (extra stuff) it helps the poem! good job!
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Review of Burying to Reveal  
Review by *hal
Rated: E | (4.5)
Amazing! yay! I love it so much! But like you said I'm extremely (I can spell it now! lol!) biased! Well good job anyways! So passionate and amazing! :D!
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5
Review of Little reaper  
Review by *hal
Rated: E | (4.5)
This one was my absolute favorite! I love how you wrote the whole entire thing. It was so different from anything I have read ever before!!!! It's so cool that you wrote the poem and then based the story on it...right?! lol! It totally captured my attention and held it to the end! Great job with this one! Keep writing!
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Review by *hal
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Ok wow! Incredible! You are so creative! I did not have to read far at all to have a picture forming in my head right away! In the beginning it's dreary and then it gets exciting and interesting! I love how it builds up to the climax and then at the end everything is completely connected! It sort of reminds me of "The Birds", its a short story I read for english...I don't remember who wrote it, but I think you should check it out. The last paragraph is great...everythings fine and then awesome twist ending! Nice work!
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Review by *hal
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Nira! Good job with this one! I have some suggestions and complements mixed throughout from when I noted them while reading...so it may seem like scattered thoughts! ha ha! I think that it would look better if you were consistant with capitalization. I personally think that it would look better if the titles were capitalized and then all the rest lower case...thats just a "looks thing" but...just a suggestion. I loved the imagry and descriptiveness thoughout the book. As well as the different rhyming schemes and stuff. Not only did you make the poems make sense individually, but all as one book too. It's like some...almost invisible string connects the poems and it makes sense that they are together. There are some grammatical errors (ie. missing commas, punctuations, etc). It was extremely amazing! I especially enjoyed "Life"! Wow! Good job! Keep writing! ~H.A.L.
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Review of Burying to Reveal  
Review by *hal
Rated: E | (4.0)
Still like it! :D Its very....i don't know. Deep is a good word. You are always so passionate about everything you do. This is just another example of that! Love ya! Put more stuff up!
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