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48 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Mother  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I've read two works by this author. Both are very forthright and honest. The powerful imagery obviously comes from deep in the soul of the writer. The imagery is bordered by a somewhat raw edge like an artist creating great masterpieces with a stick. Both works I've read are very readable and speak to common places in all of us. Still, I cant help but wonder what opus magnum might pour forth from this artist if a brush were used as a supplement to the stick. That stick scratches out the harsh realities we need to see, but a brush could soften the edges to remind us that not all is hopeless. This is a soul expressing itself as poetry. That's a great beginning to poetry from the soul, and that would be great poetry indeed!
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Review of Deep Inside  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There is nothing technical about this poem at all. It is pure emotion in perfect harmony with language! I could comment on the meter and rhyme, but that would be to insult the poet as though looking at a great painting and seeing only the oils and canvas. There is a classic feel about this poem that echoes the voices of the old masters! It is marvelous!! Marvelous, I say! This poem was not written, but crafted from the soul of the poet!
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Rated: E | (4.5)
         This is a perfectly marvelous little tale of absolute fantasy!! Yet, I see strands of wisdom in it as well. It was delightful to read and it sparked many bright thoughts in my mind!
         There are only very few technical issues, and none are so glaring as to detract from the story at all.
I am very much impressed by this story and by this author!!
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I just read everything in your portfolio. I think that An Ephemeral Dream is far and away the best thing you've ever written (at least among the items I've read.)
         What I get from the opening lines is that "You" disappeared in a "wondrous reality". My understanding seems to be, then, that "You" appeared in a dream but disappeared into reality. That's a novel concept. Very impressive! I had never looked at events in such a timeline.
         The last four lines appear to ask, with neither hope nor hopelessness, whether the vanished "you" will return in new circumstances or in a new place where all will be well. The final line seems to express the first small doubt about both future and past, and a wistful doubt it is.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
The flow of precise logic in this work is reminiscent of the writing of John Donne (among my favourite writers), as is the use of very complex sentences. This is definitely writing of classical excellence.
         I perceive a paradox of aloof intimacy here. It's as though the author has something tearing at her from within, and chooses quite deliberately to voice it with an affectedly dispassionate tone. That tone is quite intriguing, even to the point of mesmerization.
         This is the first item I've ever read by this author, and I am very anxious to read more.
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Review of Interloper  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Punctuation My daughter always loved dandelions both yellow and gray
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Review of Passive Cruelty  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I love thinking and I love being challenged to think. This work challenged me and gave me substance to think about. It's obvious that some serious thought; some serious contemplation went into it from its very conception or even before that. It's just my kind of read!
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Review of Dusty Cousins  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I have little to say about the technical aspects of this piece other than the individual metaphors are very effective. The line "In cathedrals of a milky way" brings to my mind images of cathedrals filled with hundreds of lit candles. The line before it works very well, too. Eyes take in light but also reflect light, which is a key theme in this work. While our souls shine here as we gaze at the stars, the souls of the universe are shining above as they gaze down at us, for we and the stars are kindred beings at our most basic level. Very nice theme!
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Review of The Doorman  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
The rhyme pattern here works quite well, but what I like most about this limerick is the tone of seemingly good-humoured resignation to simple circumstances. The afterthought-like voice I hear says, "Ah well. So much for that idea." Very nice little poem!
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Review of Highwire  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am, as always, very impressed with your imagery! This work has a sense of timeless urgency, if that makes any sense. It comes over as a "right now" that "always is". In this work, even more so than in other of your poems, your use of bold imagery presents physical images of a metaphysical and emotional state. In essence, it allows the reader to 'look at' your thoughts and feelings. Seeing is the beginning of understanding.
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Review of Hard Working  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm strange and unusual. I love most things that are strange and unusual --- except myself. So, I am definitely going to check out "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" and other songs by The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band!
The poem itself is "cool", but don't discount the importance of writing poetry. This little piece not only spoke of family; it gave them a sort-of second life apart from the one they live --- in my mind. You have made them into more than people. You've made them into inspirations for yourself and for other writers, myself included.
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Review of Double Wide  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I swim in the Red Sea --- of necks. So, I understand the various referrences herein. I also understand and appreciate the colloquial humour. This poem comes across well in blank verse, but I can't help wondering how it would come across in full verse. Gool ol' iambic would work, but anapest might be even better. You definitely have a creative sense of humour and good visualization!
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Remarkably original!! Impressively so! It has a macabre uniqueness about it that is comparatively rare in contemporary writing, especially in amateur writing. Most of my reading for enjoyment involves poetry, but I'm trying to diversify. When I read forms other than poetry, I usually read items of an informative nature. I'm glad I tried something new this time. This was an intersting read!
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Review of Imagine  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely amazing sonnet!!
I love the way this poem flows in waves. It moves from the scene of tranquil love that fills the first quatrain into the second, which contains two waves itself. It moves from duty to beauty, which I see as a wonderful juxtaposition. The third quatrain echoes the form of the second, moving from tasks to the balance between work and play, and the love which lifts the mundane to the heights of human experience. The couplet pulls the whole poem into a harmony as beautiful as the ocean waves, as the couplet of a sonnet should. It also continues the peaceful ebb and flow that the poet establishes from the beginning of the sonnet.
This sonnet comes as close to my idea of perfect poetry as any contemporary work I've ever read!
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Review of anxiety  
Rated: E | (3.0)
To begin my review, I want to say that I never review *anything* I don't feel has IMHO, some merit. The key point there being IMHO. If I become critical at some point, please know that I am offering my honest *opinions* on ways to make something good into something even better.
I read this piece because anxiety is something I understand far more than I would like. I have lived in a fog of anxiety for many years.
The thing that first struck me about this piece is its straight-forward honesty. It is couched in language interesting enough to draw the reader in without a lot of fanciness and flourishes. It is obviously written from soul-deep emotions, but it appears to be the writer's intent to turn those chaotic emotions into orderly and tangible form. In this, it succeeds well. It also seems to be a way for the writer to externalize inner torments and to draw strength from the power of sharing. "A burden shared is half a burden". I for one am quite honoured to help the author bear this one.
The tone here is one of dark hopelessness, which is a state I am also too familiar with on a personal level. I would point out that hope, to one in such a state, is like the shore to one who is drowning. No matter how vast the waters or how dark, the shore and hope are always there. It is up to us to swim toward it, knowing that while we swim, we breathe; when we give up and stop, we sink. We're always much better off to swim than to allow ourselves to sink. In time, swimming through the hopeless sea becomes a form of hope in itself.
This piece seems to me to be a splash made by the author while swimming. I hope that the author continues to make more splashes until the shore is reached.
I won't say anything about the technical aspects of this work, except that I think this writer has much potential. I leave it to the writer to develop that potential or to ignore it: to swim onward toward the beachlights or to yield to darkness. I hope to read happiness written on the beach at some point.
That's my humble opinion.
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Review of Tranquility  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I've read this more than once, but I don't think I ever reviewed it. Now's my chance!
I have nowt negative to comment.
On the positive side, I love the way all the noise and fear and pain and chaos are calmed by "the reflection of your eyes/ where I find my tranquility." It is such an elegant and pleasant resolution to a life-changing event. What might have been a life-destroying event was revealed to be a life renewing event.
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Review of La Petit Mort  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This paints a vivid image of the reason the French refer to that moment as La petit mort. I've loved that description ever since I encountered it as a child. Yes. I was a somewhat odd child. Fortunately, I outgrew that. Now, I'm very odd and able to enjoy works like this one. I love reading works like this with such an exciting climax!
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Review of Quit You  
Rated: E | (4.0)
To be perfectly honest, I don't see this as your best work, but of course my comments are just MHO.
I confess that I'm not overly fond of free verse, but this poem is nicely readable. The intensity that I've come to expect and enjoy in your work is here, but it seems refracted by the construction of the work. I really like the first verse, and the second verse is also good. Together, they define the imagery and tone of the poem. The first two lines of the third verse work well together. "Fire"/"flood" is a common but effective juxtaposition. The idea of the "third degree burn and its soothing salve" as one substance or entity is original and helps develop the idea "your presence hurts me but also eases the pain". This is an aspect common to both addictive substances and to addictive people/relationships. You've hit upon a universality here and after all, that's a prime goal of poetry. The jump from physical pain/salve to unresolvable sickness was a little abrupt, but you didn't lose the continuity of the metaphor. The fourth verse continues the metaphor nicely. The answerless question "What am I to do?" and the reference to caving in is so true of addiction. Again, it holds nicely to the theme as well as the tone of the poem. "Weakness" pulled together "train wreck", "sickness", and "slave" in my mind, but it was a slight effort for me. "...staked your claim as my heart's cruel ruler" minded me first of California gold/silver miners or Oklahoma sooners. Then, of world tyrants now and of old. So, that line slightly jumbled my vision of someone addicted to another person the way others are addicted to some substance. Overall and in spite of my somewhat brutal remarks, this was a very good read.
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Review of Ivy  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a cute little poem for young children!!
Big happy puppies are a favourite of most youngsters, so finding a puppy at the end will delight the young. I can picture myself reading this poem to my grandkids.
There doesn't seem to be a perfectly consistent meter, but that works very nicely for this poem. The lilting flow is just right for young folk.
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Review of Family of man  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Outstanding writing!!
The subject is broad in scope and yet applicable to every individual from the beginning of the world to date and beyond. I agree completely with the idea that random events and circumstances are not what shapes a person, but that one is shaped largely by one's own will.
Technically, the poem is very impressive! The iambic tetrameter gives a pleasant cadence while preserving the factual tone. In a couple of lines, the poet seems to have worked to hold the meter, but did an excellent job of it. The second verse differs very obviously from the first and third. The single anapest in the first line of that verse was likely unavoidable. I'm puzzled about the switch from tetrameter to bimeter, unless the poet meant to vary the entire verse to minimize the effect of the single anapest.
Overall, the poem is meaningful and the writing nicely concise. An outstanding read!
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Rated: E | (3.0)
The visualization here is great, as is the use of metaphor. I believe I understand the situation quite well, and I hope that the freedom you mentioned has been achieved or is rapidly forthcoming. Good read on multiple levels.
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Review of Stowaway  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The first word in the third line sums this up for me. The whole poems leaves me fearfully expecting some unknown outcome, in spite of phrases like "hoping you'll discover me", "safe and warm", and "has found her home". There is an unsettling tentativeness here, as though a pleasance must soon end reluctantly but of necessity.
There seems to be a departure here from the author's other works. "Stowaway" displays the passion I see in the writer's other poems, but the boldness is more subdued. The intense heat now rests in brightly glowing coals rather than in a brilliant and all-consuming conflagration. The soul of the poet is here, as is the technical expertise, and it's empowering me to follow the author from the fireside to the dining table. Very meaningful poetry which reaches the reader on several emotional levels.
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Review of Addiction  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Only an addict can understand addiction. I understand too well, having been there myself.
This poem does a spectacular job of capturing the full nature and essence of addiction, but only an addict can release that essence.
Many addictions can lead to a person's destruction, but only addiction to another heart can build someone up to destruction.
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Review of Thirst  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm truly awed by your mastery of words and the clarity of your visions! Your mind's eye seems to be that of a master classic author. You somehow turn emotions and thoughts into tangible realities! Truly amazing!
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Review of Pyromania  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I read this earlier and thought I had reviewed it, but I can't find it. So, I'll review it now.
I loved reading this! The imagery paints a vivid picture of pure emotion. That's impressive! This piece is compact but not terse. Not a word is wasted and none are there as mere clutter. Every word speaks volumes. Again, very impressive!
This poem is probably universal, but I see myself intimately embedded in it personally. That's great writing!

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