THIS I like!! LoL
There is a fine line between life and satire, and I always love to see that line used as a jumprope! Very impressive! Seriously funny!
First off, I love the way this poem begins! The crossover rhyme between 'year' and 'here' is very creative. I'm a big fan of iambic metre, so it's natural that the frist lines are my favourites. I feel a leaning toward iambic metre throughout, and I believe that this is one of the strong points of the work.
The repeated line "I have my faith and my faith is me" is an elegantly direct statement of both being and purpose. It makes a strong and simple statement that takes us right to the soul of the writer. The first instance of the line is a basic statement of being, and the second instance reaffirms and sublimates the first.
There is an innocense in this poem that a cynic might call naivete but a believer would call devotion.
The iambic opening lines make me wonder how these thoughts and words would come through, completely in iambic.
Overall, a very accomplished work. The more so, as I read that this is an early work.
Wisely it is said, "Eyes are windows to the soul."
Before expressing my deep admiration of this writer's word-crafting, I want to comment about the amazing ability to see in a physical attribute another person's life and their very being; their 'soul', as some would say. The way the writer sees "breadth of ... experiences", the "swaths of green" shouting the greatness of existence, and mysterious and deep shades of blue being "hopeful, bright and infinite" in this other person's eyes shares with the reader an amazing view into those same eyes!
With utterly no knowledge of the person into whose eyes this writer has gazed, I can see into those eyes as well! Like the writer left breathless by the eyes and the person behind and within them, I too am held breathless by the vibrance and intensity of the language the writer has crafted to say to the reader, "Here! Look at what has amazed me! See it and know how it made me feel!" That's very powerful writing! It borders on magic!
To see the many hues in someone's eyes is a remarkable ability in itself. To understand those hues as reflections of the inner person is a marvel! To share such an experience with others through one's words is to make both the experience and the words sublime.
Ambivalent describes very well my feelings about writing this review, and I have good reasons for feeling that way.
My first reason for feeling as I do about this work is the fact that IMHO this is very well written from a technical point of view. There is little I can offer by way of suggestion, and it has always been my belief that one should not try to improve upon that which is already perfect. It has oft been my experience that "too perfect" can easily be "imperfect." So, I offer no suggestion which might only serve to detract from a great bit of writing.
My second reason for my mixed feelings here is that I consider this author to be a good friend, but I have not been a good friend, here or elsewhere on WdC. I've been absent for an extended period, when I should have been present and providing moral support, if nothing else, for my friends. So even though I want to offer my thoughts and be supportive, I feel like the old fire brigade which arrives late at the fire. Using the hoses to wash away the ashes is not as helpful as using them to extinguish the fire and save lives and property. That's probably an odd analogy, but it's pretty much the way I feel about this.
My third reason for having mixed feelings about writing this review involves the subject matter. This is non-fiction and it's a matter of deeply emotional events. I tread softly, therefore. I have been at various times in all of the roles in this story. Dancing with one's own emotions usually yields a clearer perspective on everything, but the perspective is also usually painful.
I give you then, only my thoughts as to the author and as to the way my thoughts reflect on the story.
I've said that this story is very well written, and so it is. That in itself speaks volumes. It tells me that this author possesses an inner strength and that this strength is considerable. To write well of events which are obviously painful, is a difficult task. This writer has written well, in the midst of pain and uncertainty. Only the best and strongest of writers are able to do so. As I read this through the first time (of five or six reads), I was keenly aware that the author was experiencing stronger and stronger emotions as the story was written. In spite of (or perhaps because of) those ever more powerful feelings, this author has continued to write and write well. That's an impressive feat!
The integrity and the forgiving nature of this writer is extremely obvious. Even though the writer must have been (and perhaps still is) inwardly screaming at the torment of betrayal, we read this, "For my story, to protect their identity, ..." Having felt horribly wronged by the boyfriend, the best friend, and many other friends, the author still works to protect those who caused such pain! IMHO that's integrity and that's forgiveness!
It's a powerful statement of this author's strength and her dedication to the story. What higher praise can we give a writer? Indeed, what higher praise can we offer any human being?
This poem poignantly reminds us that even the deepest and most heartfelt love that any of us can feel comes with doubt, and that things inevitably change.
The structure of this poem is perfectly suited to its tone and theme. It shows an intelligently insightful examination of matters of the heart, which all of us usually just try to live through on pure emotion.
I love this poem. It touches me on multiple levels, highlighting emotions and challenging me to look soberly at those emotions.
There's a specificity to this poem, yet it strikes universal chords.
Very good writing!
I oft direct my reviews toward the writer. In this case, I'll direct them toward this writer's audience.
This article is IMHO one of the most definitive and well-written articles available to anyone who wishes to be a true poet and who is willing to learn and work toward becoming such.
I have learned a great deal from this article and I believe that anyone else who reads it will learn much as well. The ideas are presented point-by-point in a clear and well-organized manner. The wording is concise but deals with each point fully and with excellent focus.
The article covers a broad range of topics unique to the writing of poetry, but several points may also be applied to the writing of prose with immense benefit.
The style the author used is that of a friendly and knowledgeable tutor. Nothing about this is meretricious. I come away with a feeling of having sat beside a craftsman as he explained to me, a novice, the various elements of writing a review of poetry. By extension, I also gained insight into my writing of poetry itself.
My only regret is that I can't comment on every individual point the author has made here. Every point is well made and well corroborated by the author by showing the connection to every other point and to the overall process of writing poetry. I've not followed any of the links, but they're there. I will definitely look into the items the author referenced as I'm able. If this is not a perfect guide for reviewers of poetry, it comes wonderfully close!
Poetry might live without passion, but there's nothing poetic about life without passion!!
This poem is filled with life! Nothing worthwhile has ever been done in this world without passion. This poem is passionate but not explicit. From the fearfully passionate questions of the first verse, its veiled images and meanings and all its nuances draw the reader deeply within the vicarious thrill! But is it a thrilling passion of the body or of the heart or of the mind? This poem either begs or demands us to find out!
Absolutely excellent!!
I've read two works by this author. Both are very forthright and honest. The powerful imagery obviously comes from deep in the soul of the writer. The imagery is bordered by a somewhat raw edge like an artist creating great masterpieces with a stick. Both works I've read are very readable and speak to common places in all of us. Still, I cant help but wonder what opus magnum might pour forth from this artist if a brush were used as a supplement to the stick. That stick scratches out the harsh realities we need to see, but a brush could soften the edges to remind us that not all is hopeless. This is a soul expressing itself as poetry. That's a great beginning to poetry from the soul, and that would be great poetry indeed!
This is a perfectly marvelous little tale of absolute fantasy!! Yet, I see strands of wisdom in it as well. It was delightful to read and it sparked many bright thoughts in my mind!
There are only very few technical issues, and none are so glaring as to detract from the story at all.
I am very much impressed by this story and by this author!!
The flow of precise logic in this work is reminiscent of the writing of John Donne (among my favourite writers), as is the use of very complex sentences. This is definitely writing of classical excellence.
I perceive a paradox of aloof intimacy here. It's as though the author has something tearing at her from within, and chooses quite deliberately to voice it with an affectedly dispassionate tone. That tone is quite intriguing, even to the point of mesmerization.
This is the first item I've ever read by this author, and I am very anxious to read more.
I love thinking and I love being challenged to think. This work challenged me and gave me substance to think about. It's obvious that some serious thought; some serious contemplation went into it from its very conception or even before that. It's just my kind of read!
I have little to say about the technical aspects of this piece other than the individual metaphors are very effective. The line "In cathedrals of a milky way" brings to my mind images of cathedrals filled with hundreds of lit candles. The line before it works very well, too. Eyes take in light but also reflect light, which is a key theme in this work. While our souls shine here as we gaze at the stars, the souls of the universe are shining above as they gaze down at us, for we and the stars are kindred beings at our most basic level. Very nice theme!
The rhyme pattern here works quite well, but what I like most about this limerick is the tone of seemingly good-humoured resignation to simple circumstances. The afterthought-like voice I hear says, "Ah well. So much for that idea." Very nice little poem!
I am, as always, very impressed with your imagery! This work has a sense of timeless urgency, if that makes any sense. It comes over as a "right now" that "always is". In this work, even more so than in other of your poems, your use of bold imagery presents physical images of a metaphysical and emotional state. In essence, it allows the reader to 'look at' your thoughts and feelings. Seeing is the beginning of understanding.
I'm strange and unusual. I love most things that are strange and unusual --- except myself. So, I am definitely going to check out "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" and other songs by The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band!
The poem itself is "cool", but don't discount the importance of writing poetry. This little piece not only spoke of family; it gave them a sort-of second life apart from the one they live --- in my mind. You have made them into more than people. You've made them into inspirations for yourself and for other writers, myself included.
I swim in the Red Sea --- of necks. So, I understand the various referrences herein. I also understand and appreciate the colloquial humour. This poem comes across well in blank verse, but I can't help wondering how it would come across in full verse. Gool ol' iambic would work, but anapest might be even better. You definitely have a creative sense of humour and good visualization!
Remarkably original!! Impressively so! It has a macabre uniqueness about it that is comparatively rare in contemporary writing, especially in amateur writing. Most of my reading for enjoyment involves poetry, but I'm trying to diversify. When I read forms other than poetry, I usually read items of an informative nature. I'm glad I tried something new this time. This was an intersting read!
Absolutely amazing sonnet!!
I love the way this poem flows in waves. It moves from the scene of tranquil love that fills the first quatrain into the second, which contains two waves itself. It moves from duty to beauty, which I see as a wonderful juxtaposition. The third quatrain echoes the form of the second, moving from tasks to the balance between work and play, and the love which lifts the mundane to the heights of human experience. The couplet pulls the whole poem into a harmony as beautiful as the ocean waves, as the couplet of a sonnet should. It also continues the peaceful ebb and flow that the poet establishes from the beginning of the sonnet.
This sonnet comes as close to my idea of perfect poetry as any contemporary work I've ever read!
To begin my review, I want to say that I never review *anything* I don't feel has IMHO, some merit. The key point there being IMHO. If I become critical at some point, please know that I am offering my honest *opinions* on ways to make something good into something even better.
I read this piece because anxiety is something I understand far more than I would like. I have lived in a fog of anxiety for many years.
The thing that first struck me about this piece is its straight-forward honesty. It is couched in language interesting enough to draw the reader in without a lot of fanciness and flourishes. It is obviously written from soul-deep emotions, but it appears to be the writer's intent to turn those chaotic emotions into orderly and tangible form. In this, it succeeds well. It also seems to be a way for the writer to externalize inner torments and to draw strength from the power of sharing. "A burden shared is half a burden". I for one am quite honoured to help the author bear this one.
The tone here is one of dark hopelessness, which is a state I am also too familiar with on a personal level. I would point out that hope, to one in such a state, is like the shore to one who is drowning. No matter how vast the waters or how dark, the shore and hope are always there. It is up to us to swim toward it, knowing that while we swim, we breathe; when we give up and stop, we sink. We're always much better off to swim than to allow ourselves to sink. In time, swimming through the hopeless sea becomes a form of hope in itself.
This piece seems to me to be a splash made by the author while swimming. I hope that the author continues to make more splashes until the shore is reached.
I won't say anything about the technical aspects of this work, except that I think this writer has much potential. I leave it to the writer to develop that potential or to ignore it: to swim onward toward the beachlights or to yield to darkness. I hope to read happiness written on the beach at some point.
That's my humble opinion.
I've read this more than once, but I don't think I ever reviewed it. Now's my chance!
I have nowt negative to comment.
On the positive side, I love the way all the noise and fear and pain and chaos are calmed by "the reflection of your eyes/ where I find my tranquility." It is such an elegant and pleasant resolution to a life-changing event. What might have been a life-destroying event was revealed to be a life renewing event.
This paints a vivid image of the reason the French refer to that moment as La petit mort. I've loved that description ever since I encountered it as a child. Yes. I was a somewhat odd child. Fortunately, I outgrew that. Now, I'm very odd and able to enjoy works like this one. I love reading works like this with such an exciting climax!
To be perfectly honest, I don't see this as your best work, but of course my comments are just MHO.
I confess that I'm not overly fond of free verse, but this poem is nicely readable. The intensity that I've come to expect and enjoy in your work is here, but it seems refracted by the construction of the work. I really like the first verse, and the second verse is also good. Together, they define the imagery and tone of the poem. The first two lines of the third verse work well together. "Fire"/"flood" is a common but effective juxtaposition. The idea of the "third degree burn and its soothing salve" as one substance or entity is original and helps develop the idea "your presence hurts me but also eases the pain". This is an aspect common to both addictive substances and to addictive people/relationships. You've hit upon a universality here and after all, that's a prime goal of poetry. The jump from physical pain/salve to unresolvable sickness was a little abrupt, but you didn't lose the continuity of the metaphor. The fourth verse continues the metaphor nicely. The answerless question "What am I to do?" and the reference to caving in is so true of addiction. Again, it holds nicely to the theme as well as the tone of the poem. "Weakness" pulled together "train wreck", "sickness", and "slave" in my mind, but it was a slight effort for me. "...staked your claim as my heart's cruel ruler" minded me first of California gold/silver miners or Oklahoma sooners. Then, of world tyrants now and of old. So, that line slightly jumbled my vision of someone addicted to another person the way others are addicted to some substance. Overall and in spite of my somewhat brutal remarks, this was a very good read.
Such a cute little poem for young children!!
Big happy puppies are a favourite of most youngsters, so finding a puppy at the end will delight the young. I can picture myself reading this poem to my grandkids.
There doesn't seem to be a perfectly consistent meter, but that works very nicely for this poem. The lilting flow is just right for young folk.
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