|So I'm a newbie as they call it, but don't be discouraged by my feedback, you might think 'he's a nobody, what would he know?', which is true, but I think I can help. Your story is there, but your character is not. its usually the first couple of chapters that give the first impression, I mean don't get me wrong, she doesn't have to be likeable, she can be an ass-hole for all I care (excuse my French), but at least that's something. Now, I haven't read further than this chapter so I don't know what else happens, and I will carry on reading. its just personally, I think you need substance to your main character, individuality makes them stand out and leaves and imprint on the reader, because at the moment, she just seems typical and white washed.
you might think me as a dick right now, but oh well, hope it helped anyway.