|Thank you for sharing your work with us here at Writing.com. First off, I'm assuming this is the beginning of a full-blown, over 30-chapter book, so take my input based off that notion. This section here is the first four chapters. By this point, we as the readers, should know where the story is going. We should be working up to the inciting event where the main character has to make a decision that will change their world forever, and I don't feel like we are anywhere close to that. Everything up to this point has been very "day in the life of Doshi," which can be a good thing, if you don't go overboard with it.
You have this hard-ass character who really isn't as tough as she appears to be. Most teenage girls are that way, so good job catching that character. What I would like to see as a reader is more of the "real" Doshi--the one we see at the end that is insecure about the way she is. And she spends all day putting on an act for everyone else around here--isn't that exhausting? Show some of that.
Another thing to consider here is that you have a lot of "overview" scenes. Where you go into the details is in the dialogue, and a lot of that feels superfluous. Dialogue needs to move the story forward, it needs to show us the characters. Readers don't need to read every "hey," "cool," or "ok." Try focusing on your dialogue by writing it out first like a screenplay. If you build strong dialogue that way, you can add in the description and the action in between the strong dialogue and build a strong story.
I do want to read more about Eudoxia, and I really am hoping that she gets to become a famous drummer.
Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope this review helps.