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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jcosmos
Review Requests: ON
18 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Midnight Trench  
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (4.0)
liked the images, and the emotional intensity of this short but sweet love poem. who is it written for?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by JCosmos
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like the rhymes in this poem. I don't write rhyming poetry - for some reason just never got the hang of it. But, they work here nicely. I like the vampire like feeling in this poem and assume that is what you were aiming for? in any event it works. Good job. Would make a nice halloween poetry contest entry.
3
3
Review of Spider Web  
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked this haiku. the words are evocative. i like the words Crystal balls, target lace, and cool misty morning. If I were to write this I would replace the word target lace with target face to make it a bit more icky since you are writing about a spider after all


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Flying Joe  
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (5.0)
liked the story very much. I liked the last paragraph sort of an O Henry feel to it. Well done
5
5
Review of Kitchens I & II  
Review by JCosmos
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
like both poems. the images are clear and vivid and conveys the emotional intensity of the writer as she surveys her all too perfectly clean kitchen. I liked the first one a bit more - liked the line about it being to sterile for yogurt.
6
6
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (3.0)
nicely done. A bit of a satirical take on an important event. Puts it all in perspective
7
7
Review by JCosmos
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
good beginning draws you into the story. You want to read more of the story. I liked how it flows. Some interesting concepts explored. Good first draft.
8
8
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (4.0)
loved it. I am a writer of romantic love poems and I can appreciate this poem very well, almost as if I wrote it myself.

The taste of her fine and excellent cooking,
And the sharing of her dreams, passions, and desires with me –
A deep, unwavering concern for my health and well-being,
And a triumphant legacy of love.

the first line might work better if you gave an example of her cooking evoking the flavors the smells and the taste
the second line could be expanded a bit to explore her dreams, passions and desires

overall nicely done
9
9
Review by JCosmos
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I am not at all religious, actually pretty much an atheist but I get the command to be "be still and know that I am God". the first part speaks to calming one's mind, the second to trusting in God and that God is there. I have had a few experiences in my life where I felt in touch with the divine so I don't dismiss the possibility that there may be a God. In any event, good to focus on the lesser commands in the Bible.

10
10
Review by JCosmos
Rated: E | (3.5)
well done. I am not a big fan of formal verse, but you did a pretty good job sustaining the form, and telling the story. I liked the last verse the best. Not sure I got the reference to ash breeze. is that a nautical term?


When your arms grow heavy
And tired from rowing;
If its been winter for years,
But still it keeps snowing,
When the waves rise around you,
Terrible demons of dreams,
You must stay by the oars,
And sail by ash breeze.

liked this stanza the best. LIke the phrase, terrible demons of dreams fits the overall mood of the poem.
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