a nicely done poem about wings of glass, the wax wings of Icarus, and Angels. I like how you went from one to the other, building to the end when you talk about the wings of angels. I would have added the wings of Eagles, and other birds. but this works nicely.
a cool and moving poem about marijuana and its medical and other benefits. it is now semi-legal throughout 2/3 of the states, in Canada, in Thailand and many other places. And legalization has proven to not be the end of the world, not to mention brings in lots of tax revenues. I like the flow and the message of this poem.
a powerful and moving poem about insomnia, something that I am quite familiar with as I have a bout of insomnia every few days. For me, O dark hundred 3 am to 5 am is the worst time. I often wake up at 2 am with a nightmare or two and then struggle to fall asleep only to give up about 5 am and wake up, and write down my nightmares and prepare for the coming day.
hmm powerful and moving essay about the search for true love. In my experience, true love is elusive but it does exist. True love often happens when you least expect it, when you have given up on the whole finding the one love fool's game. that is when love walks into your life. It did for me. I dreamt of meeting my wife for eight years then she walked off a bus into my life 40 years ago. So true love can come true. Hope you have found your true love. If not, be assured it may happen to you sooner than you think.
I like this meta-poetic take on the Tiger jade poetic form. You nailed some of the absurdity of writing traditional verse forms. Some poets, myself included, don't do traditional verse forms that well, but I can appreciate it when it is done well. I like your tongue in chek c=snarky version.
a very powerful and moving poem about the passing of time, regrets of things lost, and things left unsaid. I like the images and the language paints a vivid picture. I like these lines the best
Words echo memories as little fireflies
linger to absorb my essence,
before the grave, shallow space.
wonderful poem about time and the meaning of time as time goes by. I like the progression from infant to adult to old age and the reminder that time does eventually run out for all of us. I took a completely different tactic making it a political rant. But, I like this one, simple words, telling a story that we can relate to.
hey In liked this cool poem about owls, and all that they symbolize throughout history. I like how you weave the myth of the owl with the facts of owls and how they hunt their prey at night. these lines were particularly effective
searching dark places,
innocents abroad,
secret rodent prey,
A nicely done short meta poem about writer's block and the only cure for it is to start again putting pen to paper and beginning again not worrying about later or anything other than starting the process over again and again. My only slight quibble is that the last word seems a bit of a forced rhyme, but otherwise, the poem is quite good. And for me I don't use pen and paper much, most of the timing typing it out my computer or even on my phone when inspiration strikes me at off times of the day which it often does.
A lovely short and sweet poem about the legendary leprechauns of Irish myth. I loved it. Many cultures share similar stories about legendary creatures that delighted in pulling pranks on us humans in the olden days. here in Korea they are called Golgabi and are like leprechauns described as little people who played tricks on the unwary. and the American Indians often had myths about tricker coyotes back in the ancient days.
A short but sweat, powerful poem about one of nature's most awesome creatures the elephant. You captured the mood, the spirit, and the majesty of these powerful, mystical and intelligent creatures that share our world.
well, I enjoyed reading this Dear Me letter. I will be writing my own before the deadline and it gave me food for thought. I like how you tied last year's goals to this year's goals and noted what seems doable and what is more aspirational. I also like the slightly snarky tone of it all. It is somewhat inspiring that you have so many goals and yet seem to be coping with them all. I am impressed. Writing a novel and getting it published is a big goal. I have several unpublished novels I hope to get published someday but someday is receding as I get older. Good luck.
a nice quick meta poem about writing poetry using the Naani form. Nicely done captures the mood and spirit of the Naani poetic form which is very similar to Haiku/Senryu and Cherita forms - short terse commentaries on life, nature and human experience.
this is an immensely powerful and moving reflection on Time. It indeed marches on and no one can stop the passage of time. The only minor quibble is using the non-inclusive word men in the line "Men cannot stop it".
substituting "no one" would be more gender inclusive and not alter the meaning of the poem at all. Just a suggestion.
a short and very apt poem about broken promises, made in a romantic relationship. It is so easy to be consumed with anger and despair in romantic relationships if the relationship does not work out. I like the way you ended this poem. Well done.
I liked this take on the cinquain form.
Leporidae lovin'
Racing
from bush to bush
pursuing a partner,
twists and turns entice and evade -
rabbits
You started out one way and ended in another way which I can relate to as that is how I roll as well. You hint in the first two lines that the poem is about some sort of animal that is searching for love and a partner.
I like the line. "
twists and turns entice and evade"
you skillfully use double alliteration to drive the poem forward.
And you also use alliteration in the title which sort of hints you are talking about rabbits, and in the end, indeed we find you are talking about rabbits.
I also like the use of alliteration across the first and last line. That was skillfully done as well = racing…..rabbits is a nice image. I might have gone with jumping rabbits but this works well too.
One of the things about rabbits that this poem alludes to is how prolific they are in searching and finding potential mates. Rabbits give birth to multiple litters throughout the year as part of their evolutionary strategy of having lots of babies since so many creatures love to eat rabbits. Coyotes, foxes, feral cats, feral dogs, all love their fresh rabbit meat. And in olden times humans hunted rabbits for both food and fur. So, the life of a rabbit is short and many die during the course of their summer time blues. That would be a nice companion poem. I think.
I read this twice. The first time, it was a bit confusing and a bit overwhelming. And some of the sentences could be tightened up a bit. The overall story is strong and compelling. I was thinking about the back story - how did humans end up in this place? It sounds like a post machine taking over the world colony in space. The characters could be developed a bit more. How many humans were left? It seems that you shifted from a dream/nightmare to a real nightmare. The transition was a bit jarring. There were many unanswered questions. I could see this becoming an exceptional story, but it needs a few slight revisions.
I liked most of this poem. It flows, has a nice feel to it, and packs a lot into this free verse poem that seems to be a rant about evil thoughts, and actions, which influences the drum, and the drum sound is the sound of evil thoughts. I like the interplay between the word "soul", and "evil." Who is the evil figure playing the drum? and what is the cost in the end? There are lots of unanswered questions in this poem. But, overall, well done. The lack of punctuation can be an issue for some people, but not for me because I often skip punctuation too. The last line needs a bit of work. Not sure I would have ended it this way.
I liked this haiku. the words are evocative. i like the words Crystal balls, target lace, and cool misty morning. If I were to write this I would replace the word target lace with target face to make it a bit more icky since you are writing about a spider after all
like both poems. the images are clear and vivid and conveys the emotional intensity of the writer as she surveys her all too perfectly clean kitchen. I liked the first one a bit more - liked the line about it being to sterile for yogurt.
good beginning draws you into the story. You want to read more of the story. I liked how it flows. Some interesting concepts explored. Good first draft.
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