This is an interesting poem - the subject is something many of us as women can identify with it - nonetheless, I have a few comments - firstly, there are a few typos, but those can be corrected - secondly, you do not capitalize the word I - is that purposeful - because if not, it only deteriorates from the message you are trying to convey - on the other hand - maybe you feel so bad that you have lower cased the i - and thirdly, it is all in one paragraph, which I believe can overwhelm the reader -
Nonetheless, I think you have a great flair and I do look forward to reading more of your work
This was a moving poem - is this based on a personal experience of yours being hospitalized. I do know the feeling of feeling trapped in the hospital - but you have expressed it beautifully.
I loved this poem - and how I identified with it - as you can see through some of my work - love is a funny thing - and it is wonderful that we have an outlet such as poetry to express it - your poetic flair is very evident in how the subject is handled and how the rhythm of the poem flows - I do look forward to reading more of your work
This is a great poem - I am so sorry for your pain, but as a newbie of sorts to writing, I am realizing how writing, and poetry in particular are cathartic to the recovery process - you are very talented and I really look forward to reading more of your work - I was curious how you found your writing buddy
What a profound poem - I am one of those woman who always wanted to be 'pretty like you' = I am pretty, but unfortunately am very overweight, which is again all that people see - and I am judged on that - particularly by men - I respect you so for this poem -not only is the message so wonderful, but your poetic flair is great - I look forward to reading more of your work
This poem is fantastic - I feel for your pain and wonder what it is that was taken away from you that you feel that you can not trust any longer - you have a definite flair for poetry - keep it up - I look forward to reading more of your work -
What an interesting poem - you seem different from your contemporaries wanting to spend time at the malls, etc. - why do you want to be alone so much - you seem like a lovely woman, intuitive, and with a poetic flair - use the poetry to express your feelings = it helps a lot
This is an interesting poem with an interesting premise - I liked the way that you formatted the poem, giving good imagery to what you wanted to represent. One typo - at the beginning, there was one typo - you forgot to separate the and bus - so it took me a moment to figure out what you meant. - I also was intrigued by the ending - how the man sat down on the bus - why did you give him a proper name - is this a symbolism or something?
This poem is good - my critique on it would be that you have put it in one paragraph which is owerwhelming to the reader - I realize that that is perhaps where your thoughts are during the writing of the poem - but it makes it difficult to follow the poem - I feel for you and your pain - and it is good that you are writing - writing is very cathartic
What an interesting story - what prompted you to write something of this nature - it was really well written - it kept me riveted to my seat, waiting to see what would happen - it had a bizarre theme, but nonetheless it captured the topic in a well handled manner
What a powerful poem - and a courageous one for a young woman your age - I have been in similar positions, and am now beginning to use my poetry to deal with the beginnings and aftermath of my emotion -you have a great talent in your poetry - keep on plugging away
What a lovely poem = your feelings are unique - as somebody who is somewhat older than you, I have had these emotions very often, and they have been troubling - your poetic expression is wonderful - you capture the feelings in a beautiful, literary way - I look forward to reading more of your work.
I loved this poem - its message is poignant and right to the point - is it based on your story - if so, I give you a lot of credit for what you have gone through and for writing this poem - it is poignant and sends ripples through my body - I look forward to reading more of your work.
Novice me - it took me a while to figure out that this was an acrostic - with 4 lines for each letter of the alphabet - it is a new form of poetry that I would like to master - I realize that you wrote this poem a long time ago - so I do not know what you have been up to since - nonetheless, this is a great poem and I hope to read more of your work
How grateful that you survived Katrina - we watched with horror up in the north as the south got pumelled by rain and storm - your poem is good, but there are some typos that need to be corrected - you convey the message that you want to - having the imagery revisited for those of us who were not there - but I still think that there should be more substance in the poem
This was really nice - I empathize with you as you will be able to see from my works - I think though that it should be more substantive to reinforce the sentiment that you are trying to send through
Interesting poem - the subject was treated well despite the pain that you are in - I identify a great deal with you about being in an inappropriate relationship - by writing about it - I believe that that is helpful - you expressed th is well poetically - do submit it if you wish
I loved this poem - it does convey a message that is near and dear to my heart - making friends is hard - and how do we do it without alienating the other person - in my most pensive state, and when I begin to work the hardest on myself, I realize that the one I need to count on the most is myself - though I have a network of friends whom I rely on for different things.
What a profound story - I had a similar story with a cat - pets are very therapeutic - we do not realize the power that they have on us - they have emotions and almost think like us and come to us when wew are in pain - I am glad that you and your wife got new dogs - but more than that I am glad you found some peace from your relationships with the dog
I liked this - I never knew what a limerick was - and you have brought these to life in an interesting way - I do not have enough experience to add to this forum yet - but I learned a great deal from reading the postings - maybe as I get further in a long in my writing, I will feel secure to add to this
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