What a profound essay and so very true - it is very well written and easy to understand. I identify with it so, because I am very self-conscious about my looks - I am overweight - which makes men not look at me the way they might look at other women = and that hurts a lot - but I have come to understand that the true men see me for the pretty, and I am indeed pretty, women I am, despite the weight issue.
I love this piece - I could not get enough of it - the character descriptions are excellent - and your description of the relationship between the boy and his uncle is a dime a dozen = you do not explain why the boy is in a wheelchair though - nonetheless - this is a story I was waiting for more.
I really liked this poem a lot - embarassingly I did not know the Garth Brooks song - probably the only one who did not know it - but I liked how you used this song to inspire your poem - you are right - it is the same old story - I identified so much with the poem - it could be a mantra for many - my only comment is that perhaps there should be some punctuation - but maybe that is a personal thing with me.
What a beautiful tribute to your father - I had a similar relationship to my father, but never thought of writing poetry to express that particular relationship - you have done this so eloquently, with true style and great poetic finesse - the rhythm is wonderful - my only comment is that I think it might have been more clear if it was in more than one paragaph - but that might be my own quirk with clarity.
This is an interesting poem - however to me, and this may only be personal, the flow does not go properly - it seems to be bumpy, despite the beautiful message that the poem is trying to convey. My other ocmment is that the punctuation seems inconsistent - as if this is one long sentence.
What an interesting premise for an essay - I really liked this - your formatting was great - the way that you separated your paragraphs, and your sentence formation. This essay gave me a lot of food for thought - you are definately not the only one who has pondered these existential questions. I look forward to reading more of your work.
This was an interesting essay that you have written - but unfortunately I found it very hard to understand the message that you wanted to convey = perhaps that is only me = so I hope that you can explain to me the message. I felt that it was a little bumpy and did not flow appropriately - but again that might only be me.
What a great story - I loved it, despite the sadness of the story - I do not agree with you though - As a Jew, we bury our dead in tombstones that are dedicated to them, with their birth and death date, and the figure that they held (father, son, etc.) On the anniversary of the death we bring little stones to the grave. But I understand where you are coming from - and respect you for your beliefs.
This is a perfect piece of work = the rhythm and flow are great and the subject of the poem is just glorious - is this dedicated to a family member of yours - if so, how lucky to have such a nurturing mother like you. If this is written for somebody, it would be great if you showed it to them, to see how much you appreciate them - I think this could be used as a parents' mantra for their children.
This is a great idea - I was having fun reading it and picking various choices - I was wondering how I add something to the story - since I had some ideas - I have never participated in an interactive story before so I am a little naive when it comes to that - but I had some things that I wanted to add.
I really liked this prose that you have written - it described the adventures of a man in the wilderness with great texture and you could really imagine that you were with him. My only comment is that you used the word he a lot - and it seemed a little repetitve - I realize that you were trying to describe this man's adventures, but I am wondering if there is a different way that you could have done it.
This is an interesting poem - but I do not think that the message that you want to convey is 100% clear - I like that you have tried to use a particular type of genre of poetry - but I think in the process, you have sacrificed some of the fluidity of the poem. Just double check for typos - dont - is don't - with these little modifications, I think this would be a great poem.
What an interesting story - and I am presuming it is a true story - or is that naive me - where is this place that you are referring to - that is the 'uninitiated me'. Notwithstanding that, I really liked this story - I always like stories that talk about different cultures - you have explained your trip with detail, so it comes alive to somebody like me who has never been anywhere for the most part.
This was a really great poem - I appreciate that you explained its format prior to writing the poem, as I am new to the poetry circuit and am not so familiar with the particulars of different types of poem. After reading what this particular genre was, your poem seemed to follow it flawlessly. Additionally, I liked the 'story' that was behind the poem.
You are right - writing is very therapeutic - I am so sorry for the ordeal that you went through - and am glad that you are done with your year treatment - you are an inspiration to the rest of us who take our health for granted - I am going through a different type of situation - now, in that I have been a rehab for the past 3 months for a broken ankle - but I have been exposed to people without legs, etc., and it has made me realize that one can not take their health for granted.
This is a very nice piece of work = kudos for writing it - keep up the writing = it is really a wonderful tool.
This is a nice poem - my comments would be the following = the title should separate itself from the remainder of the poem - and there should be some paragraphing - it would make it easier to understand this poem and would make it flow easier.
I really liked this essay - it is well written and evokes a very strong message, which I think is universal. I identified very strongly with it - as I have tons of inner child stuff that I am trying to deal with so that I can become a true adult - I am in my mid 40's and I feel like I am stuck in a child's mentality sometimes.
What a great poem - I am so sorry for the pain that you endured in your divorce - I have never been married, nor have children, so unfortunately I can not identify completely with your situation. However, you have expressed this in a wonderul way. You sound like a great mother, and I hope that your children appreciate you. I have gotten a great deal of joy from reading your works. I forgot to send you some gift points with the previous works, so I am enclosing some now too.
What a beautiful image - and how talented you are - what an important message - and how comforting - I am Jewish, but I identify with the importance of the crucifix - I am glad that it helped you in difficult times - I do look forward to reading more of your work and seeing more of your images.
What prompted you to write this - I work in social services where I work with mentally ill consumers, many of whom live in assisted living facilities of some sort or another = and with the age of living increased = there needs to be a place for many of our elderly to live - when they are independent, but not 100% independent - or when they are ill, but the children are not capable of taking care of them appropriately.
This is a brilliant essay = and so necessary = I am big on the subject of educating the public to illnesses and other conditions, etc. I have been told that I have a predispensation for diabetes, but I have been lucky - I have been in rehab for months for a broken ankle, but in the process, I have seen a lot of amputees as a result of diabetes. My paramour has diabetes which he is treating with medication and now dieting. It is so important that the public know about this. Thank you.
This is an interesting poem = at first it was a little confusing for me to understand - but then I realized that that was my fault = you almost humanize your nature images which is great - your imagery is wonderful = one feels that they are part of the story - and the moral of the story = which is how I interepreted it - when every window closes another one opens
What a profound story = and a theme that can be relevant to many religions = I am Jewish = and I have similar qualms that I am looking for answers. So I really appreciated your story.
My comment would be that it needs to be paragraphed and spaced better - because it all appears to be clumped up and it makes it more difficult to digest this great story.
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