What era of war does this take place in? That was my first question when I started reading. This really does has some potential. I think if you start describing the characters in the next segment it will feel better as far as reading goes. To be honest, I didn't feel connected to anyone or a sense of danger which is something to look into. That could just be my opinion too. Either way, keep writing and I will look back and check into the next chapter.
I absolutely had a blast reading this. It was hilarious. I could see this turning into a cartoon or a movie. The character names were also hilarious and clever. Like Austin powers names. I will be looking at the next part of this on the storyshift. Keep up the good work.
I really liked this a lot. I was assuming there are more of these stories with the same characters in them? I will look more into your profile since this was a random review. I also really enjoyed the digital pictures at the end. Very creative and helps imagine the characters more too.
This reminds me of the circle of life. Oh the things lion king taught me. Haha. But on a serious note I did like this. It is very true in the way that every beginning has an end and it all starts over again and again no matter what we do. Very enjoyable.
The story was pretty good. Almost seemed like it was going in a different direction towards the end though. I really wasn't expecting it to be like that at all. I also found a few grammar mistakes here and there. Something we all do. No worries though I still enjoyed it.
Hmmm...I really don't know what to say about this other than I instantly tout of vines crawling up someone's body and starting to clench harder and harder until they bled to death and then a woman with perfume runs for her life. That's my imagination running again. Good though
I honestly have never seen this style of writing before. It's pretty interesting and impressive with the fact that you can't use certain words and have to use other words. I don't know if I would have the skill to pull something off like this. Great job.
This poem sounds very personal. Almost as if someone died or left and isn't coming back. I wrote a poem to deal with the pain of my first marriage and I think it helped me out a lot. This is a good way to let out any emotions. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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