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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kayc33
Review Requests: OFF
20 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Crossdressing  
Review by Kay
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
when u do it everyday-
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, I never knew! Thanks so much for teaching me something new! I was guilty of eating this fascinating toy when I was little lol! Keep writing! -Kay
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (1.5)
You do have a very good point, all though I am going to share a link with you which is about why those people don't wear masks. Many are just lazy and self-centered but some it brings back terrible abusive memories. https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/houghc/2396247...
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Review of Writer's Block  
Review by Kay
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
So many writers experience writer's block. We are mostly all guilty of it, including me. I hope one day we all; can come to a verdict that we need to just write down our thoughts. Beautiful writing. Love, Kay
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hmm, this is a clever poem but the title may make readers be turned off especially during our current times. It could be considered as racial profiling.
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hmm, A very neat concept. I really like your word choices on the last line. On the other hand, it is missing some key-rhyming. If you struggle with rhyming (like I do) you can check out this link. https://rhymenow.com/ I hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving and I will be looking forward to reading your future pieces.
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Review of Slaves no more  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was such a funny poem to lift my spirits. Please let me know if you decide to ever make this to a novel, etc. I think it would make a great story!
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (4.5)
WOW! I only read about 50 but geez you are thankful for a lot! Such a great reminder to not take things for granted. Great writing prompt that is super easy to complete! I hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving and eat lots of pumpkin pie and turkey (If you aren't vegetarian lol) I will definitely find myself reading all of this eventually when I have the time.
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! A great diary entry and I think could be turned into something more, although I was disappointed you rated it E when it clearly mentions drugs, needles, etc. I am looking forward to reading more of this diary (I hope you continue t) Please message me when you write more! A few grammar mistakes at the beginning of sentences.
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Review of Unburden  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so kind! I actually do have something that's bugging me currently. Maybe you could give me some advice. I no longer feel safe at school. 2 of my friends were sex assaulted by a guy last year. ON Friday, this guy also sexually assaulted another one of my friends. He stuck his finger up his butt for being gay. All the people this guy has assaulted so far are gay or apart of lgbtq. As someone who is apart of the LGBTQ, I am worried I will be next.
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Review by Kay
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am a non-binary under 18 years, I was wondering if you could add an other option? Thanks!
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Review of Not Today  
Review by Kay
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Such an inspiring flash fction. There is NOTHING wrong with this novel in my opinion. I really hope you turn this into something more. 100/10 no questions asked.
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Review of Twenty Years  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (5.0)
AFter reading this, I am literally crying. I lost my best friend to cancer in 4th grade. I am so glad you fought through this journey. I hope you never have to experience anything like it again.
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Review of Intensive Care  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awh, as someone who has COPD I totally understand your wife's situation. I recommend talking to a therapist if you are still traumatized by this experience. I hope you are both doing well now!
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Review of Existing  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (5.0)
As an unbinary myself, I found this a VERY inspiring poem.
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Review by Kay
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
As someone who does not usually read Anime related stuff, I was very intrigued by this chapter. Although in the beginning, I sort of lost focus a lot. I made a similar mistake in my novel “Blinded Love” but easily fixed it by starting the chapter with action or something to grab the reader’s attention. For example, maybe you could start the story off with the girl shaking and describe that instead of her surroundings and her reasons to be on the train. Also, it is always to be descriptive. But, there is such a thing as over-descriptive. If you are over-descriptive the reader might lose interest. I will be honest, I did find myself skimming through the first few paragraphs until I forced myself to read them. But of course, being descriptive is always a good thing. Finally, your dialogue tags are a bit over-complicated. Take this line for example, "’ OK, well I'm going to show Joan around a bit," Marc said before guiding her to a different aisle of desks.“’ A dialogue tag should only need to be 2-3 words. It could make the reader skim through that part and possibly miss an important part of the novel. On the other hand, I really love your word choices!
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Review by Kay
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow, I only read about a dozen lines but you are very determined! Keep fighting and remember no matter what your weight you are beautiful!
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Review of Outlook  
Review by Kay
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the vision I am 99% positive you had for this poem. Although sadly, I am a bit lost. It may just be me, I'm not sure. But I like the onamonapia you used at the beginning. Overall, a bit of work needed but love the concept!
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Review of The Stone  
Review by Kay
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I love the story and how different it is. I did notice one common mistake though. Every piece of dialogue does not need to be like this, "I like apple pie better," said Ciara. Instead, you could like this for Some (not all) dialogue pieces. "I like apple pie better" Other than that I really like how you used descriptive words.
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