I ran across your article on the HUB page. I agree with all that you said. Mr. Spock was and is my favorite character on Star Trek. He was one of the reasons I was always so engrossed in the show.
I have reviewed a couple of your stories in the past few days. I enjoyed them both, and since I didn't see any others, (I hope you don't mind) I looked in your port. I found one The Well. and I enjoyed reading it very much. I think it is very well written, and I noticed no errors, confusion, or bogging down. The pace of the story was just right and the build-up of tension was very effective.
You have a very good writing style. I am currently, for the first time, trying to put together a children's story and you make it look so easy.
Thank you and Write On!
I came across your story Thunderstorm on the Hub Page. I first want to say---WOW! This is good. You hooked my interest right away and kept it all the way through. I hope to read more of this story.
I did not notice any errors or bogging down. The pace is excellent and well-kept.
I came across your story {The New Dawn Fades{/i} on the Hub Page. I really, really enjoyed reading it. You hook and kept my interest immediately. I must also say that you kept me guessing all the way through. It wasn't until the end did I suspect that this guy is reliving aspects of his life.
I think you did a very good job writing this story. I did not see any errors or bogging down. I enjoyed it very much.
I came across your story The Pale Children on the Hub page. I enjoyed it very much. I think that this story would make a great novel. Do you have plans for any more? I hope so.
I thought that it was well written. The only advice I can offer is to spend a little more time on "showing" and a little less on "telling."
I hope to see more of this story.
Write On,
Kristina
I came across Aidan and The Monster in The Woods under Static Items on the Hub page tonight. I enjoyed it very much. So much so...that I read it twice. It captivated my interest from the very beginning and held it till the end.
I really liked the ending. You had me running and screaming through the forest then, all of a sudden there I was...sitting at the table...writing.
I really enjoyed your Chapter One entry. I would like very much to read the rest. I thought it was very well written. It captivated my interest from the beginning and held it till the very end. I really want more.
Hi,
I came across the story Detectives on the Hub page. I enjoyed it very much and I thought it was well-written except for a few typos in the beginning.
I had no problem keeping my interest to the end and I was hooked into the story right away.
I came across your story, Malaco Malone in tonight's Mystery Newspaper. I thought it was very well written. It kept my interest clear to the very end. The surprise ending, indeed, was a surprise. I would never have guessed it.
I saw no errors nor can I suggest anything. I feel that you did an excellent job.
I came across your story Death Chamber in this week's Mystery Newsletter. I enjoyed it very much. I can not offer any constructive criticism because there isn't any. I thought it was very well written. The story captivated my interest to the very end. I kept trying to figure out if this guy was telling the truth, if was he poisoned, or if he was going to die at all. I finally began to suspect the policemen in the last two or three paragraphs.
Hi,
I came across your poem on the Hub page, and I enjoyed reading it very much. I could feel the emotion reaching out to me as I read. It is very well written, and the message is very clear.
Thank you for sharing,
Kristina
I absolutely loved this story. I had no difficulty following the names that you chose for the weather, time passing and the change of seasons.
Very well written,
Thank you for sharing
Kristina
I came across this short story and I absolutely love it. Perhaps you could lengthen it and make a kitten the main character and show his life growing up, how he feels about crossing human paths, or perhaps he is next in line to rule and wants to conduct the Black cat kingdom differently?
There is so many possibilities.
The story line is great and I see no errors.
This is great, keep up the good work.
Hello! I found your story on The Review Requests Page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
It was very easy for me relate to this story, being from Southern California. I understand about the "crowd group" (gangs) being over abundant here. Though they are everywhere, So. Calif. has an over abundance. It is not uncommon for knifings and gun shot wounds to happen every week. I nicked named it the local Reunion of The Knife and Gun Club." when I worked as a surgical nurse in the county hospital. One learns quickly who is safe to trust and those to stay away from.
Plot:
You presented your plot ( events) very nice and they were quite organized as they unfolded to build interest.
Style and Voice:
The tone of voice was very good and the story pace was excellent. You started out in a slow pace and quickened when the boy was thrown from the car; then slowed it down again at towards the end as the story resolved itself.
Scene/Setting:
Excellent! It very easy for me to visualize where things were happening.
Characters:
Well developed, easy to relate to and realistic.
Dialogue:
There was none, however, none was needed.
Grammar and Mechanics:
No errors noted
Suggestions:
Perhaps sometime, you could plug in some fictional names and build a longer piece.
This story has merit.
Hi, I found your story "The Hospital" on the Action/Adventure Genre page and enjoyed reading it very much. I thought it to extremely interesting and well written, as well as creative.
The plot is strong and easy to follow and the characters are enigmatic. I did not note any grammar or punctuation errors. I don't feel that I need offer any suggestions because you did such a great job.
The setting is good and vivid and adds to the tone of the story. Your opening was very creative. I am looking forward to reading the rest.
Hi, I found your story under New Statics on The Hub Page and I enjoyed reading it very much. I thought it to be well written and very humerous. The plot was strong and easy to follow and the characters very enigmatic. I did not notice any errors in grammar or punctuation.
I just finished reading Meeting Him, and I enjoyed it very much. I'd like to offer you the following comments.
Overall Impression:
I thought this to be very humorous and well written. I must say that I couldn't stop laughing as I read it. You represented the authors point of view very well.
What I liked most:
I liked the author's choice of language very well.
Characters:
Very strong and vivid to the imagination
Setting:
Very vivid. Easy to imagine
Plot:
Strong and easy to follow
Grammar/Punctuation:
None noted except for the language that was intentionally placed.
I found your story Detecting the Detective on the Detective Genre page and really enjoyed reading it. I hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
I felt that it was extremely interesting and it captivated my interest from the very beginning. I really liked your introduction of the Detective. That was very good. It was vey well written. I was very fascinated by the technique that you did by combining an old fashioned cop investigating with a Sci-fi setting. It is a type of story that I have never read before.
Plot:
The plot is strong and easy to follow.
Style and Voice:
The style and tone of the story is set very well by the thoughts and actions of the detective
Hi,
I am Kristina and I came across your story The Shelter in the Plug Column. First I want to say; I hope there is more of this story coming. It was very well written, and kept me wanting to more and what happened to Sam during the night in the shelter.
I also loved the touch of the English slang. My mother-in-law was from England, and it has been awhile since I've heard it.
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