Hi,
I came across your poem on the Hub page, and I enjoyed reading it very much. I could feel the emotion reaching out to me as I read. It is very well written, and the message is very clear.
Thank you for sharing,
Kristina
I absolutely loved this story. I had no difficulty following the names that you chose for the weather, time passing and the change of seasons.
Very well written,
Thank you for sharing
Kristina
Hi Bubblegum,
I found this piece of extremely interesting information in your port. I enjoyed it very much and you're right one can learn something new everyday. I am, however, a bit embarrassed. I don't have an excuse and I live out here next to The Mojave Desert. I really enjoyed this and found it very interesting and well written.
Thank you for sharing,
Kristina
I came across this short story and I absolutely love it. Perhaps you could lengthen it and make a kitten the main character and show his life growing up, how he feels about crossing human paths, or perhaps he is next in line to rule and wants to conduct the Black cat kingdom differently?
There is so many possibilities.
The story line is great and I see no errors.
This is great, keep up the good work.
Hello Clarebo! I found your story on the Hub page under New Statics. I really enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
I am not sure where to begin here. I thought this story was very well written. It draws the reader in from the start, with a strong grip that won't loosen until the very end. I loved the way that it evoked very strong emotions. I cried at the beginning when those men were abusing Sadie and about to have her kill the smaller dogs. I held my breath as Meg was fighting them off to get the dogs and I let out a sigh of relief when she got away—and that was just the beginning. I did feel what Meg was feeling all the through.
Extremely well done!
Plot:
You wrote plot very effectively. It was easy to follow and gripping.
Style and Voice:
Your style is very very good and the tone of voice matched what happening in each scene.
Scene/Setting:
Setting was excellent. It was easy to visualize what and where things were happening. It accented the characters and the story.
Characters:
Well developed and believable.
Dialogue:
Smooth, fit the characters, and easy to follow.
Grammar and Mechanics:
No errors noted
Suggestions:
I can't offer any. You did a beautiful job writing this story. Will there be more?
Hello! I found your story on The Review Requests Page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
It was very easy for me relate to this story, being from Southern California. I understand about the "crowd group" (gangs) being over abundant here. Though they are everywhere, So. Calif. has an over abundance. It is not uncommon for knifings and gun shot wounds to happen every week. I nicked named it the local Reunion of The Knife and Gun Club." when I worked as a surgical nurse in the county hospital. One learns quickly who is safe to trust and those to stay away from.
Plot:
You presented your plot ( events) very nice and they were quite organized as they unfolded to build interest.
Style and Voice:
The tone of voice was very good and the story pace was excellent. You started out in a slow pace and quickened when the boy was thrown from the car; then slowed it down again at towards the end as the story resolved itself.
Scene/Setting:
Excellent! It very easy for me to visualize where things were happening.
Characters:
Well developed, easy to relate to and realistic.
Dialogue:
There was none, however, none was needed.
Grammar and Mechanics:
No errors noted
Suggestions:
Perhaps sometime, you could plug in some fictional names and build a longer piece.
This story has merit.
Hi Steven,
I came across your entry, and I read your essay. I enjoyed reading it very much. I became so engrossed in it that I had to read it twice. I also was able to feel your emotions and pain come through my computer and somehow you had a glimpse into my life, and you were writing about me because I've had similar thoughts, experiences and feelings throughout my life.
This was very well written. No errors noted,
Kristina
I came across your story under the Ribbons section of the Hub. I really enjoyed reading it. I thought it was very well written.
Your description of the Mojave Desert is as accurate as it can be. I am very familiar with it. I live in Bakersfield, CA. I found myself engrossed in this story. I thought for a minute I was going to end up in Calico Ghost Town up near the Nevada border.
Characters were great.
Nor errors in punctuation noted.
Plot intriguing and easy to follow.
Hi JJ,
I found your Outine on the Hub page, and I think that this Outline is a good starter gate that you need for Character Development. I like to develop mine in great detail. I like to feel that I know them so well that I can anticipate their reaction to any given situation. It is the characters that tell the story.
I know, I know, at times I think my family are convinced that I am off in a third world because they have caught actually talking to my characters about the story.
I have two links that I made and would like to share with you, and you are certainly welcome to use them.
Hi, I found your story under New Statics on The Hub Page and I enjoyed reading it very much. I thought it to be well written and very humerous. The plot was strong and easy to follow and the characters very enigmatic. I did not notice any errors in grammar or punctuation.
I just finished reading Meeting Him, and I enjoyed it very much. I'd like to offer you the following comments.
Overall Impression:
I thought this to be very humorous and well written. I must say that I couldn't stop laughing as I read it. You represented the authors point of view very well.
What I liked most:
I liked the author's choice of language very well.
Characters:
Very strong and vivid to the imagination
Setting:
Very vivid. Easy to imagine
Plot:
Strong and easy to follow
Grammar/Punctuation:
None noted except for the language that was intentionally placed.
I found your story Detecting the Detective on the Detective Genre page and really enjoyed reading it. I hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
I felt that it was extremely interesting and it captivated my interest from the very beginning. I really liked your introduction of the Detective. That was very good. It was vey well written. I was very fascinated by the technique that you did by combining an old fashioned cop investigating with a Sci-fi setting. It is a type of story that I have never read before.
Plot:
The plot is strong and easy to follow.
Style and Voice:
The style and tone of the story is set very well by the thoughts and actions of the detective
I found your story on the action/adventure genre page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:
My overall Impression is that I think it is very good and well written. I was drawn in with questions right away. I read to the very last word and when I will be provided with more, I know I will be compelled to continue reading. You have a strong basis that will drive the story forward.
Plot:
The plot is strong and easy to follow.
Style and Voice:
Good style of writing voice. Dialogue is easy to follow.
Scene/Setting:
Very vivid and easy to picture.
Characters:
Strong and enigmatic.
Dialog:
Excellent.
Grammar and Mechanics:
None noted.
Suggestions:
uc
Just one small suggestion. Take a look at some of your sentences (mainly in the beginning) and restructure them to be able to delete the word then.
Hi,
I am Kristina and I came across your story The Shelter in the Plug Column. First I want to say; I hope there is more of this story coming. It was very well written, and kept me wanting to more and what happened to Sam during the night in the shelter.
I also loved the touch of the English slang. My mother-in-law was from England, and it has been awhile since I've heard it.
Hi Corrine,
I enjoyed reading this very much. I think it very good the way it is. Perhaps the use of some stronger verbs would help.
Good job!!!
Write On!!!
Kristina
Hi Harry, I just wanted to say that I thought your poem was well written. Though I don't agree with many of your points illustrated, I will defend your right to have them. I find fault on both sides and it is a sad situation that I see our country in. I don't see one side having more rights than the other.
Kristina
Oh My God! I hate Wal-Mart too. It took me an hour to stop laughing—I have been there and done that too. I hate it from parking to check-out, let alone arriving home and vowing never to go back.
I loved it and didn't see anything wrong. I love the way that you projected humor mixed with REALITY. Great job!!!
Hi, I wanted to tell you that I could feel the feelings that were behind your words. It is a lovely poem. I lost my husband two years ago. Thank you,
Kristina
Hello! Ann, I am Kristina and I found your story under Newest Statics.
Overall: I absolutely loved this story. I thought it was well paced and kept my interest from start to finish.
Plot: I thought was well done and easy to follow.
Style/Tone: Very well done.
Scene/Setting: It was easy for me visualize and see what was happening. I could easily see the dragon attacking the small spaceship.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Grammar, spelling and punctuation well done. The only suggestion that I have here is that when you are dealing with numbers—write them out. Instead of a 50-foot dragon--write fifty-foot dragon. It helps the sentence flow smoother.
Characters: Maybe just a bit more of their backgrounds and their relationship and emotion.
Dialog: Very good and believable.
Suggestions: Other than what I have already give absolutely none—but to take your story to a longer version.
Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.
How are you? I am on Social Security, but I had to wait until I turned 65. My husband was a vet, and he also had to wait. When he passed, two years ago, they took his from me. I have worked for forty years as a R.N., made good wages, but I am forced to live an amount that barely covers the bills. I know how frustrated you feel. You know—that is one subject that really hasn't been mentioned during the campaign.
Kristina
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I WANT ONE OF THOSE! I love watermelon. You are a great story teller. I also loved the one about the Nimrods. Well said.
I don't have an excuse and I live out here next to The Mojave Desert. I really enjoyed this and found it very interesting and well written.
Overall Impression:
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Overall Impression:
What I liked most:
Characters:
Setting:
Plot:
Write On!
Overall Impression:
