Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kerouac_fan1
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Review of Mistaken Identity  
Review by Z.S Allen
Rated: E | (3.0)
To be honest, when I read the first few lines of dialogue I had no idea where you were going with this. Your dialogue is simple but effective and sounds like real human interaction. Good conversational dialogue is hard thing to accomplish and you are off to a good start with this.

I feel like you could add some scenery to the bit. What do these people look like? What is the salesman's facial reaction to the woman's constant accusations that he's a famous movie star? What's the weather like? I'm only adding these suggestions in case you decide to take this piece and expand on it.

My favorite part is the ending. I wasn't expecting it, but you ended with a great lesson which was both insightful, witty, and funny. I had a smirk on my face when I was done reading it. Great work here. Like I said, the only drawback for me was that I wanted to know More.

1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kerouac_fan1