This is a beautiful story; the kind that brings tears to the eyes. Well done in everything that you have written here. It's beautiful, truely beautiful. There is nothing I would change, and no errors that I came across. WRITE ON!
Live Long Laugh Hard! KittyNadem
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This is a quite clever beginning to a creative story. I would reccommend adding a better discription of the characters, as I could not picture them in my mind very well. So, consider that. The spelling and grammar was fine, I didn't notice any errors. The proper rating for this story should be ASR, not E, so make sure you change that. Othat than that, everything looks good, and you have a fine beginning to a wonderful story. WRITE ON!
Live Long Laugh Hard! KittyNadem
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This is a very clever poem, nice words are put into it, and it does not seem forced in the slightest. There isn't anything in the poem that I would change. You have a nice rhyme scheme, and a good meaning. My favorite part was the last stanza:
A girl will sit and trace her finger
Across the carved words thereof,
"Here Lies A True Big Brother
The Only Man I'll Ever Love."
Beautifully worded, simple but very meaningful.
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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I found this story highly amusing. It is very thought provoking and has a different perspective on kittens. I enjoyed reading a different and fresh story, this isn't something that you read everyday, it';s quite different from other books. It's am excellent story for cat lovers, and I'm sure that many others will enjoy reading it as well.
I noticed that your characters were strong from the very beginning. You picked a fine place to start the beginning of the story allowing the readers to truely submerse themselves into your story.
I didn't find any grammatical errors, though there probablly are a few of them around somewhere.
I am anxious to read more, so I'll be stopping by again soon.
It's sad to think that some people don't know what they're getting themselves into, and the they that it'll be a walk in the park or something. You have displayed this well, for most people know, you can never be too prepared! Good job! I didn't notice any errors. WRITE ON!
This was nice to read, I think that many people have the same question, "is there scientific proof of God?" I know that I have. You have done a nice job of breaking down this question. I didn't notice any errors worth pointing out. WRITE ON!
You did a good job with this one. You have good points in this piece. I didn't see any errors that I should note. I think that many people can relate to what you wrote. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! WRITE ON!
This is a good story with excellent morals! A nice plot from the start to the end. I didn't notice any errors in your work. You have done excellently to create an intresting story that can capture any reader's interst! WRITE ON!
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It shows what many people think and feel, and I really like poems like that. You have a very good rhythem with this, and that makes it easier to read. I love the imagery that you used. WRITE ON!
This was quite good, I must say. You certainly do have a knack for writing. I wrote a novel one time before I was good at writing and it took me a long time to fix it up properly. So, in that aspect of your story, I can relate. I can tell by your proluge that you have planned carefully for what you are going to write/before when you started the story. WRITE ON!
I really enjoyed reading this story, I love stories that take place in Ireland and this story really appealed to me in that aspect and many others. Your characters are strong and your spelling is precise! This is one of those stories that I really could get into and just read, read, read! WRITE ON!
This is a nice and quite excellent story that you have put together here. Your characters are quite strong, and I got into the story quickly. I didn't notice any errors that I should point out.
I think that many people can relate to this short story in many different ways. WRITE ON!
I got a laugh out of this one, a clever way to use the prompt that you were given! Good job! I didn't notice any errors, or any other problems that I should note for that matter! Well done!
I love the tarot card theme that you set to this story. I also felt that you meant to give this story a bit of humor, or you wrote this lightheartedly, and I like that. People are too serious if not even scared of the tarot cards. I, as a reader of the Tarot have seen some things that the tarot cards have "predicted" if you will. Including the birth of a child, a miscariage and an operation. And all of these happened strangely enough. Sometimes I do believe though, that it is only coiencidence. Anyways, I enjoyed your story, and I didn't see much wrong with it that I would fix. WRITE ON!
Overall Impression
It takes a complicated mind to write such a complex story. I quite enjoyed this, it reminds me of how silly some people can be. Plot:
Good plot, I would like to read more of this story, as it caught my intrest, this would be something that I have never seen in a novel, but, only in short stories. This would make a good prologue, of course, this being said, I don't really have anything to pick about in the plot area!
Characters:
Your characters are well rounded for the roll that they play in your story, Charles being the main character, you displayed who he was and what he does, how he acts, and all of this in a small amount of words.
I can somewhat relate to Charles von Liechtenstein, in the way that I get bored of things quite easily, and I'm sure that there are many others out there who can also relate to your character. Well done! Setting:
I couldn't find anything to pick about, you have a limited amount of discriptions, but I think that they work well with your story.
Spelling/Grammar:
I didn't notice any errors! WRITE ON!
This is quite a nice short story. I enjoyed reading it, for I am quite fond of the mediums and stuff like that. Some of your punctuion is off however, in some places, particularly at the end of quotes.
"At the end of every quote, some form of punctuation must reside," said a former wanderer of this earth.
Some of your quotes are lacking them. So, go over your short story again, and make sure you add the proper punctuation where needed. Thank you for allowing me to read!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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I found this quite intresting! Thank you for allowing WDC to get to know a little bit more about you and your writings. Wonderful displayment of yourself. I hope to read more of your works in the future!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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My Comments:
Try as I might, I found myself unable to find any errors or anything that I might change. Favorite Part:
"accompaniment to her voice for just a season
until she sang past love, toward reason," This has an excellent rhyme to it and the words are natural, rather than forced.
My Suggestions:
WRITE ON!
Overall Impression:
This is a straightforward poem that must appeal to many.
Hallarious! lol! I personally, have never seen a skunk before.... sure have smelt one though! I like this story! It had me laughing the entire time! Poor little Rascal and Ashley! I'm sure that if I were them I would have done the same thing and slithered across the floor!
My Comments:
I found this to be quite an intresting story. I don't believe that I have read anything quite like it, very original. Each word the you chose fits into your work like the piece of a puzzle. They have a reason to be there and they make it easier to see the picture, but you'll never know what that picture will be until you reach the end. This is why I call this one the "Puzzle Story". I really enjoyed it!
My Suggestions:
I did run across some errors, thankfully those can be easily fixed! Some of these I'm not 100% sure about, so you might double check with someone else, or just use your gut instinct!
In the first paragraph you wrote: The hour has come to rid myself of vanity and pain as I look at how seductive the glisten of the silver knife.
This kind of confused me, shouldn't there be more or less words. Did you leave out the is at the end. When I got to the end I was expecting to read more to help clairify the sentence. This caused me to stop short and reread the sentence taking away from the experience of the story. My suggestion here is to look over this sentence again and reword.
Again, in the next paragraph, I found myself somewhat confused... "I try to recollect." Recollect what? I soon got an idea later in the story of what you were trying to recollect, however, this still left me mildly confused.
"What I recollect is the rather short, only from the time I experienced bliss and how it turned to bitter melancholy." This was somewhat confusing, but an important part in your story. Did you mean to put "the" before "rather short"? If you meant it there, you might have to add some more punctuation, however, I'm not exactly sure where that would go, as punctuation isn't exactly my strongest point.
Grammar/Spelling
In the second paragraph, you wrote: I remember the rain- the treacherous falling of the rain-
It should look like this: I remember the rain - the treacherous falling of the rain -
"Long before this hour, my life had been full of glee. It was as if the sun woke up only to permit me to see the eyes - oh, what beautiful eyes -,"
I was taught that you should only use one form of punctuation. And I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that you have to take off that comma that comes after that hyphen.
Overall Impression:
This was a really nice read that I really enjoyed reading. The last paragraph sticks in my head the most, especially the part: the dark fountain of blood run down.
That was an amazing paragraph. You are an excellent writer with an excellent imagination! I look forward to reading some more of your works! WRITE ON!
My Comments:
This was a good poem, a nice warning for the ones who get married and then expect to live happliy ever after.
Favorite Part:
I enjoyed the first stanza, as you proceeded into this nicely, creating an overall image of what this was mainly about and who it could help.
My Suggestions:
The flow could have been better. I found myself stumbling across some of the words. You might trade in some of the more complicated/less used words for something more simple. This might improve the flow.
Overall Impression:
This is a nice poem with a castle-like style to it. WRITE ON!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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Overall Impression
This is an excellent expression of a mother's love. I really enjoyed reading this one. I really had a laugh with the third paragraph, very funnny.
Characters:
I could easily feel your characters strong emotion. Bravo!
Spelling/Grammar:
I saw no errors, I have a deep respect for authors who take the time to check their work to make sure that they do not have any errors. WRITE ON!
This is a nice poem. I think everyone has these "fears of tomorrow" and we all know that we have "tears of yesterday". And we still have the tears of the day before too!
I enjoyed reading this poem. My favorite part was the last two lines of the poem. Very inspiring.
My Comments:
Well, I like gnomes... so it's only natural that I like this poem.
Favorite Part:
"In the moon beams they will dance
in their velver, green pants.
When the fairies arrive, they take a gnome and start to stride.
Their heads held high with pride."
How very inspiring to take two magical creatures and blend them in together.
My Suggestions:
KEEP WRITING!
Overall Impression:
This is a very magical poem, which many will enjoy reading!
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