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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/km2007
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456 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Hello there, Carly. Congrats on your two years anniversary. I really enjoyed reading your piece. You used great descriptive words and moved your piece along well with conversation. I think, however, that I was a little disappointed in how you began this piece. I think you could really have gotten our attention with a bit of high flung conversation and then used what you began the piece as explanation a little later. That way you get our attention and our interest right a way and give explanation and lay out your background later. It is always important to get your reader interested immediately. Without doing so you lose them.

Keep it up. You are doing a great job.

Celticeagle





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Oops  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello there, Cheri. I enjoyed reading your piece. What a first meeting. I liked your opening. It definitely drew me in. That's what you are supposed to do and that is great. Your writing keeps me reading. Another good writing characteristic. In fact, you use a lot of good writing tools. Just a couple of things I might change.

You use a lot of I's and I would try to change that. Adding some adjectives would fill it out nicely.

Great read! Keep it up!

Celticeagle


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of The day  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello to you. I have read your piece and am going to give you my opinions and review your piece.

I enjoyed your opening sentence. Begins some mystery and that is great. Short sentences for emphasis remind me of the Wind Oleander author, Janet Fitch. What did you think? Not proof reading your work leaves the reader wondering and unable to see for sure what you are trying to say.

" There were so many people around the day of his funeral to completely understand the whole situation." Do you mean "too many people"? Chaotic with so many people there?

So, I am left with some questions. I would enjoy reading your piece again after you do a edit on it. You have the beginnings of some really good talent and I hope to have the opportunity to read more of your work as well as this again after an editing has been done.

Happy writing!

Eve Sherrill York


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Black Friday  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hello, John. I enjoyed reading this piece. Your description really made me feel like I was there with you. I think you could have started your piece with a bit more of a bang and then when on with your beginning statements. Get your reader interested and then explain what's going on. You have some good sensory usage of descriptive words also.

Write on!

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Magic Mirror  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Greetings! I enjoyed reading your poem. What a loving and sweet poem! It leaves you with such a nice feeling. It seems to come right from the heart. Well written and has some good rhyme which I like to see in a poem. Fun to rhyme and see what the author comes up with. Enjoyable read.

Write one!

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of First drum set  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Kare. This is a cute poem you have written. I found it fun to read and it is rather memorable. I didn't realize how repetition can have such an effect. It is a good thing. Short and sweet but says something in its entirety. A nice poem for the occasion.

Write on1

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi there. I found your piece interesting to read and unique in its differences. It sounds so realistic and true you certainly make a love believer out of me. The rhythm and lack of rhyme of it is good and makes it read well. The words 'endure' and 'ransom' don't sound like ones the average person would use to describe love. It's uniqueness is memorable and that is a good thing.

Write on!

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Panda Girl Part I  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello, Troy. I found this an interesting work. I wish I had read them the other way around. Your way of running over the rawness of the interlude keeps a fast pace which is good. Your literal style is interesting. I think it keeps a high pitch which works.

Write on!

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Hello, Troy. I found your piece appealing. It shows the confusion and high regard that is a part of the emotion you are talking about. I think you relayed this very well to the reader. Even the jumbled thoughts make it seem realistic. It leads the reader into your world and makes for a good beginning. But it leaves them wondering. Good work.

Write on!

km2007


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Creepers  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, J.C. I found your piece interesting but, to be honest, it rather bothered me wondering exactly what this 'horde' is. Flies? Terrorists? So the mystery was definitely there. Yes, it is pretty dark and you do a good job in conveying that. Along with the mystery it builds to really make me, the reader, wonder what this thing is. I think you did a excellent job of writing a fifth paragraph that was scary, creepy and dark. You have done a good job.

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Jonathon. I enjoyed reading your piece. It provoked a lot of difference emotions and thought. Sadness, sorrow, empathy, regret, etc. I think that a piece that does this is very strong. Not all negative emotions either. I was proud of you for finding things to think about and even for getting outside even though you seemed to get quite a response from people when you did. I think this piece was well constructed, went along to a logical conclusion. Was well written and interesting. Were you looking to evoke emotion or just writing for clarification? Good work!

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Dawsongirl. This was a fun read. A blag could start a whole new genre. I loved all of the things that the word "blog" brought to mind. All fun and up as a blog should be. They are so easy to pass over and just move on to the other choices. Keeping the reader interested and even involved is not an easy task but you are able to do it.

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, QueenOwl. I found your article intriguing and enjoyed reading it. You have some good ideas about the word 'spendthrift'. To me it is a sort of oxy moron. That is if you take both words at face value and what you find common. I think that the words are put together to mean an extreme. Just that. You have done a good job in rationalizing and hunting for the truth of the matter. The English language is fascinating with all it's mixture of many languages, old and new. Good job!

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello, Kathie I enjoyed reading your piece. Got into the story immediately and explained it as you went along. You set a gloomy scene well. I feel their grief and sorrow. Even the little surprises along the way are well done. It moved along well. You did a good job.

Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Miss Henrietta  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello, rl. I found your piece very entertaining. I loved the "That here lived one with love of beauty" and the "to soften shadows cast by creases, Etched by time in both their faces ". I like the story line although I felt bad for Miss Henrietta's continued misery. But this seems to make her so human. Do you really think you need that last line? That would probably be the one thing I would change.

Write on!

Celticeagle


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I wonder if your conflict could be Sam asking her to cheat. Her mental chaos and emotional. What she goes through to make her choice and what it is. Also your introduction is so serene and beautiful it could open you up for a true apocalyptic story too. With a contrast like that you could really grip your reader. What you have written is a great start. I hope my idea is helpful. I would maybe do alittle more personal characterization early on. Interactions with people, etc. Conversation is one way to do that. Where she greets her peers would be a good spot.

Write on!

Celticeagle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello, Bruce.

This is a very interesting and indepth piece. I enjoyed reading it. So this happened in 1970? Was this civilian or military? RAF and WRAF? What are those? A person from the US reading this might wonder what these things are as I have. Just to make it more interesting to read it would to nice to have that information provided as you did other such things.

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Such A Short Life  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Keaton.

I enjoyed reading this poem and even chuckled. I wasn't expecting what you wrote. It is different and that is good. Your data is fine and your wishes for a life not wasting is touching I wonder what you would have wished besides this though. Waste what?

Cute and I enjoyed reading it.

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of The Fun House  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Tom. I certainly enjoyed reading your piece.

It reads logically and carries on to a realistic conclusion. It is very well written with good conversation which I find a lot of writers seem to fall short in this regard. Actually this was one of the best entries I have read here in a while. If I gave five stars you would certainly get them.

Write on!

Celticeagle(km2007)



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Ember. I just read your piece "A Logic In Shadows" and enjoyed it thoroughly. How you intertwined Holmes' and Moriarty's logic and insight was enthralling. Social options and lack of them is so interesting. Bring Facebook and Twitter into it and the futuristic mental jostling were fun. I so agree with the line "Put the Blackberries, iPhones, and any other Smart phones down and talk to someone." Yes, Yes, Yes! You said a mouthful and did it in a very interesting and captivating way.

Write on!

Celticeagle(kn2007)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hello to you! I have been away for awhile and am trying to get back into my reviewing. It helps me and hopefully you too.

I enjoyed reading this but it seemed to be more in a synopsis form. I think you tell a great story but this could be more in depth, more characterization, more mood enhancement, more description. And I am not saying this is badly written, just that you could describe it more in depth. You obviously know how to keep the story moving and the interest in tack. And there are few, if any, grammatical errors, nor is it in need of editing. You have done a good job!

In a published book you will find about 20-25 pages to each chapter and it will be full of rich description, setting of scenes, a lot of well chosen adverbs and adjectives, and more characterization. My form of writing is to write the outline, then do some characterization of characters and then, when I am ready to write I start with an exciting first scene that hooked the reader and sets down something for the reader to look forward to as they read. And, if it still seems vague I choose areas to broaden and richen.

Perhaps you could begin with Mario's speech and the history of the people following that. The battle, the ACTION will bring your reader in and form his interest to keep reading. What I am saying is that if you start with a high impact action sequence it will quickly peek your reader's interest and keep them reading your work. And a little back story never hurts either woven into the story to add length and interest.

I hope my review has been of help to you. It comes with the sincere hope of helping and I in now want to belittle your work. Please let me know if you have any questions on anything I have written here. It is a good story and you have done a good job.

Write on!

Celticeagle (km2007)



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of My new students  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello to you. In reading your piece I found it very well thought out and concise. And you have put a lot of interesting information into eight stanzas. I especially enjoyed stanzas four and five. You should be very proud of this work. You make it look very easy and that is the magical trick to any type of writing.

Write on~

Celticeagle


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of SEASON ONE  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

Hello,

I enjoyed reading your play. The format did come out nicely whether by your hand or the help of the site. I did find an area for improvement. The stage direction could be alittle more indepth. The conversation is good but I don't see much direction.

Keep on!

KM
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24
24
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Hello,

You have written a very compelling and enlightening poem. I guess I found it so progound because I feel this ongoing. You leave us with a feeling of hope, that there is atleast beauty outside. That the person sees that. The tone here is intense and very horror filled. You have done a very good job to describe it all.

Keep on!

KM
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25
25
Review of Kal's Fury  
for entry "Part 1
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Hello,

I enjoyed reading your story part. I found your piece fast moving and highly intense. I think you have a great talent for writing action. I find the place for improvement would be warming up your work with some colorful adverbs and adjectives to inject alittle more life into all this action.

Keep on!

KM
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