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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mysticalprose
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21 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Quiet Dawn  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem on the passing of a great man of peace. I think the whole world cried when he died. Thank you for your poem.
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2
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was very moved by your poem. It speaks directly from the heart and paints very vivid pictures both figurative and literal. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to live in another country, than the one you were raised. Yet I can identify with the alien feeling on a much smaller scale as I have lived in several different states here in the United States, and still my heart searches for a true home. I hope that the day will come when you can once more set foot upon your native sand. And I say embrace the mixture that is you; unique, and profound, and wonderful. No one really fits in anywhere do they? Thank you for sharing this poem with me and everyone else here on this site.
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Review of Busy bee me.  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (4.0)


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Hi! My name is Sandy and I just reviewed your poem
 
STATIC
Busy bee me.  (E)
I feel the daytime ends too fast, life is too fast paced, time's never enough
#2125641 by S.z.kamoonpuri
Before I begin I want you to know I keep my reviews simple and critique more on style, substance, and what effect the piece has on me. I also critique on punctuation and grammar. My reviews are public unless you specifically ask for a private one. I do give out gift points from time to time and I will give out ratings all the time.
Now that we have all that out of the way on to the review! *Smile*


Reviewed Item:
 
STATIC
Busy bee me.  (E)
I feel the daytime ends too fast, life is too fast paced, time's never enough
#2125641 by S.z.kamoonpuri



What did I Like? I liked the theme and pace of the poem. The idea of time flying was captured in a frenzied flow that really made this piece a fun read. I did enjoy the puns.*Smile*





What didn't I like? There is nothing I didn't like.



What do I feel needs improvement? The only thing that I found that needed correcting was in the fourth stanza, mr., should have been capitalized.




How did "Busy bee me. make me feel? It made me reflect on how busy we can sometimes, or all the time become, and how time does fly when your having fun or even just living your day to day life.


How many stars? *Starv**Starv**Starv**Starv*


Hope this helps please return the favor by reviewing "Invalid Item

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4
Review of WITCH DOCTOR  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I quite like your poem, especially the end where you give a warning against the use of pharmaceuticals. I am not a very superstitious person myself, but I know a lot of people are. it is a shame there will always be others who take advantage. Good poem! *SMILE*
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Review of Insert title here  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (4.5)


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Hi! My name is Sandy and I just reviewed your poem/short story/blog
 Insert title here  (E)
Free your mind
#2105379 by Perhaps
Before I begin I want you to know I keep my reviews simple and critique more on style, substance, and what effect the piece has on me. I also critique on punctuation and grammar. My reviews are public unless you specifically ask for a private one. I do give out gift points from time to time and I will give out ratings all the time.
Now that we have all that out of the way on to the review! *Smile*


Reviewed Item:
 Insert title here  (E)
Free your mind
#2105379 by Perhaps



What did I Like? I liked the flow and the wordage. The play upon words.I liked that this poem got me thinking of God and our own unwillingness to explore total freedom. That is what I got out of it.





What didn't I like? This was an enjoyable piece. I really could not find anything I didn't like.



What do I feel needs improvement? The only thing I found was in the next to the last line of the last stanza. I feel the word awake should be awaken. I would also suggest coming up with a title. I think I get it. You're making a statement of freedom and un-restraint (think I might have just coined a word but you know what I am saying), but this piece deserves a title. Just a suggestion.




How did "Insert title here make me feel? It got me thinking about a lot of things. For one thing death. For me the first stanza illustrates dying and entering the unknown. The second thing it got me thinking about was God. The thought about love being two breathless thoughts, that of love Therefore it had to be and just was... to me that speaks of God. That speaks of Him being love just being not being created. And it just was... This is a good poem. Thank you for sharing it.


How many stars? *Starv**Starv**Starv**Starv**Starv*


Hope this helps please return the favor by reviewing "My Beloved

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6
6
Review of Bonds Revived  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (3.0)


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Hi! My name is Sandy and I just reviewed your short story
 Bonds Revived  (E)
Of Bonds, Life, Death, Materiel Possessions and Memories
#2111547 by Sonya
Before I begin I want you to know I keep my reviews simple and critique more on style, substance, and what effect the piece had on me. I will critique on grammar and punctuation also. My reviews are public unless you specifically ask for a private one. I do give out gift points from time to time and I will give out ratings all the time.

Now that we have all that out of the way on to the review! *Smile*


Reviewed Item:
 Bonds Revived  (E)
Of Bonds, Life, Death, Materiel Possessions and Memories
#2111547 by Sonya



What did I like? I liked the feelings you were trying to capture. I liked the idea of everyday rituals leading to a flood of nostalgia. I love the story this tells. It is very vivid and that is a good thing.

What I didn't like? The main problem I saw was continuous punctuation and grammar mistakes throughout the whole piece, which was distracting for the reader and kept me from really delving into the complex emotion your were conveying.


What I felt needed improvement? I am not one to go line by line and suggest what needs improvement. I will say there are way too many ellipses and colons used in this piece. You can probably replace all of them with commas and have the same flow you were portraying throughout the story. Some sentences could be reconstructed and worded better. I will give you an example of this: your line- Dusting here and there I see those of his files and folders that have been orderly stacked by him over the years in several shelves a better usage would be Dusting here and there, I see shelves of files and folders that he had stacked in an orderly manner throughout the years. There are a couple of places where the sentences are broken like this. By rearranging them you get a complete thought and flow going through the piece. I would do some editing. The thoughts are there and the story has potential but it seems to be a paragraph of phrases. They need to be complete sentences for complete thoughts.




How did "Bonds Revived make me feel? My overall impression of this story is very good. It is emotional and it is interesting to explore the sad and melancholy. I think some punctuation and grammar corrections could make a world of difference. Keep plucking away a it. The idea is strong, the structure needs some work.


How many stars? *Starv**Starv**Starv*


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7
Review of Old Brighton Town  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked this poem very much. you paint a vivid picture with your words, the rhythm was on spot. Overall a very good piece.
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Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This piece really touched me. I cannot even begin to know the grief of a parent for a lost child, especially one that has not entered the world, but I do know something about grieving and this essay captured that feeling for me. The part where you cry out to God asking for His relief from the darkness is very real and very heartfelt. Well done and thank you for this gift.

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Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely poem and ode to the sweet tooth. I thoroughly enjoyed the meter, rhyme and especially the subject matter. Good job. *Smile*
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Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Mom I remember the notebook you wrote this in. Love you
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Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Loved the puzzle. Loved the subject. A couple of clues had me stumped for a minute. This was a great tribute to a great talent.
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Review of Double Wide  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Had a good laugh. Loved this could almost hear a banjo plucking out a country tune. Very good and funny. Keep it up. *Laugh*
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Review of Fly Free  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (4.0)
Death is such a hard subject to write about, especially for those who have lost a loved one. Your description implied this was a tribute to your aunt. It was a beautiful tribute. I like the imagery of the heather throughout the poem. Indeed in life she was trapped by pain, and now she is free of that bondage. It was very touching. This is a good poem. The rhythm was a little off in the last 2 stanzas but I think in this case the meaning of the words outweighed the rhythm of them. Good job.
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Review of Winter  
Review by Simply_Sandy
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really liked the mood, imagery and cadence of this poem. your words flow fluently. They paint a story in your mind. This is a good piece and I encourage you to keep writing and sharing your poetry. There is something satisfying about writing that paints vivid pictures and that is what this piece did. Good job!
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