I don't know much about poetry so I can't give a meaningful critique but what comes through in this writing is your emotion. I can tell you have been there, that this is from personal experience. You express so much passion and belief. I can identify with that as I, too, was recently called by God. You have summed up so much of what I feel. Thank you for writing this.
Oh this is so beautiful. Heartfelt and poignant. It's hard to see how you can improve on this. My main observation is this highlights how much we take for granted about our lives because we think we have so much time left. But if we could learn to live our lives as if every day might be our last day how much more could we appreciate the little things. Thank you for sharing this!
This was a well told story seen through the eyes of a five year old child. It started off cute and innocent and you built a sense of foreboding that gripped and held my attention throughout. The kettle was well used to build the suspense. You really made me feel for the child. Good story!
What an amazing story. I love it. It shows that while there is ugliness in the world, there is also much beauty. The girl has a beautiful heart that helped overcome the ugliness that started the poor kitten's life. Heart warming and sincere. It shows that love can overcome anything.
I enjoyed reading this. Your story had a natural flow that made it easy to read. I like the way you let the story flow with a series of dlashbacks that delivered the backstory in an interesting way. The ending was perfect.
Ah, I seem able to give reviews now so I'm going to review this one. I like this story. It's certainly not your average Doctor Who story. You came at this from a very unusual and unexpected angle. I guess this is a study in when good Doctors go bad! ;) I love the reference to Blink with the 1969 line. Time travel can be confusing enough without the naughty Doctor getting in your head and messing about!
This is a beautiful poem. You've really captured the essence of moving from Fall into winter. I know you referenced moving into a new life after finishing school but this works on other levels too. Especially the first two verses. Very nicely written.
Good little twist there at the end. You made it sound like she was seeing the darkness in her molester's eyes but instead she was looking into the darkness of her own eyes in her reflection. To be honest I was half expecting the person to turn out to be her sister so the actual ending threw me more. Nicely written.
Ha! I enjoyed this. I can see why you have a reputation for writing good western stories. Your characterization was great as were your descriptions. The best line though was
Ha! This was a hoot! And you've summed up science perfectly by pointing out how they always have to classify and clarify every little detail. If science didn't work that way it would just fall apart. You've summed up the conflict between someone who's obsessive over every little detail and someone who's more happy-go-lucky in a very humorous way! :)
lol this was a great read. Somehow I get a very good picture of your father reading this. Your description of the snake's reaction was very humourous and made light of what could have been a very serious situation. You actually made me gasp when I read about the bramble turning out to be a snake. Well written and very entertaining!
Thanks for this. I needed to read this article. I just upgraded my account so I'm new to the whole statistics thing. It's hard to suggest anything you can do to improve this post as you've done a great job covering every angle of the stats. All I can say is great job and I'll be referring back to this often I'm sure.
This is a very heart warming story. I love the idea of how animals can be therapeutic to people especially children who have been through some sort of trauma.
I love stuff like this. This takes me back to the airshows Dad used to take me to when I was a child. Your words capture perfectly how it feels to be standing there watching these daredevils put on their displays. The Red Arrows. The Blue Eagles. *Sigh* Such happy memories your words evoke!
wow! This chapter packs a serious emotional punch! I think you handled the emotions extremely well. I can see that you're gaining confidence. There is a real flow to your story. I really like where you are going with this. This was an even better read than the first chapter. I love the scenes where he almost reached Mandy. Almost but not quite. It was touching and agony to read. I was just willing her to hear him, to see him, to fully realise he's there. Very well handled.
HAHA! I love it! The workers lament. Very cleverly done. Excellent use of emoticons and I think you pretty much said it all for every worker in the world. Unless you happen to love your job. And how many people are that lucky?
This was really good. You built the suspense well and the story had a good flow. The way you used reflections to allow his nemesis to communicate was pretty clever. I'd love to know what happens next and I can't help wondering if you've written any more of this story?
I can tell this is truly from the heart. It's nice when you're in such a strong relationship. I'm the same with my wife. We feel like we're soulmates, like we belong together. We enjoy each others company so much. Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
All I can say is this was absolutely spine chilling. Creepy as hell and that ending...well I didn't see that last part coming at all. You have a natural voice and you just kept piling on the chills. Good job!
An interesting second instalment. I like that I can't tell where you're going with this. Is Marli a ghost or something Kerk has created as a way to cope with losing her. And who is this dastardly Evangelica and this mysterious group she is with. I wonder if there will be a third instalment soon. I'd love to read it!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nakedwriter
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.40 seconds at 2:20am on Jan 17, 2021 via server WEB2.
Awards
Badges
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Auto-Reward Items
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
