It takes a lot to admit the things you have in this piece...honesty is one of the hardest pills to swallow and yet, is the only thing that can bring peace and true happiness.
I think everyone goes through some form of trauma or life event, or events, at some point, that challenge who we are and what we are made of. Some, like me, turn to drugs or alcohol to cope...and, it works a treat, for a while. The difficulty for anyone who has tried this type of coping mechanism is tolerance...what works today, will not work tomorrow, and it isn't just drugs and alcohol that people use to cope...food, pornography, even drama, all can and do become ways of getting by.
Seeking attention, or not seeking attention...look at me or hiding away, even from yourself...especially from yourself...denial...is probably one of the most common ways to cope. Being honest, which equates to allowing ourselves to BE vulnerable again, is a very difficult thing for anyone to have to do...even those who HAVEN'T suffered such traumatic circumstances, will struggle to allow themselves to be truly vulnerable. I always used to think how silly those counsellors were who would first blindfold, and then get a person to fall backwards and be caught by waiting hands...now, I can see what they were trying to achieve.
I'm not saying this is the answer because there is no one size fits all when it comes to getting over trauma. I've never read a book on psychology, but I know people very well, and I think it comes down to one basic thing...happiness...ask yourself, what it is you think will bring you true happiness? Allow 24 hours to really think about it. I don't think many of us truly know what that is.
I've been thinking about it for years, and I still don't have an answer...at least, not one I am satisfied with...but, if we can be totally honest with ourselves, one day we might gain the insight to work it out, and then, maybe find that peace and contentment I think is missing from so many of our lives.
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