|Paragraph 4 line 4. I feel the double use of the word or, breaks my attention.
Paragraph 8 line 2. The sentence seems to be run on.
The story itself was pretty interesting and i would love to know what comes about.
I would love to read more, if you don't mind.
Thank you for sharing,
P.S. I am new at this reviewing. And i may be wrong so if I am, please feel free to school me. :)