Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newretta72
Review Requests: OFF
6 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Review by RettaLynn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Paragraph 4 line 4. I feel the double use of the word or, breaks my attention.
Paragraph 8 line 2. The sentence seems to be run on.

The story itself was pretty interesting and i would love to know what comes about.
I would love to read more, if you don't mind.

Thank you for sharing,
Retta Lynn
P.S. I am new at this reviewing. And i may be wrong so if I am, please feel free to school me. :)
Review of BKA The District  
Review by RettaLynn
Rated: E | (2.5)
You are missing some question marks.
I do love the dialog
I wonder if they do indeed, wait til last minute next year.
I got a futuristic feel just from your character's names.
Would it not be helpful if they could just shop on the internet.JK
Review of Demons Within Me  
Review by RettaLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
This made me feel like you have been through it, and in most cases of poetry, may be truth here. I feel like you could use this and the experience that drove you to write this piece to a bigger story. It says so much that I want to help you by pulling you away from the dark mirror you seem to look upon and allow you to see yourself in a better light.
Honesty? I do not favor poetry and am probably not going to be your best reviewer.I am no good at sharing my feelings via abstractions.
I did however; Felt this as I read it and that is great writing on your part. I hope you continue to live in words as I do either way. Thank you for sharing and I hope I see more of you here.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newretta72