I like the poem. To be honest, it seemed as though you was not content with it being just you. I had to relate the poem to myself. Then I grasped the concept. Even though we love ourselves we still want to be loved by others and we still try to impress others, but in the end you realize you love loving yourself more. I am actually happier alone- with it being just me. Short, simple, but makes you think. I feel you could express yourself a little deeper yet it's wholesome enough to read your child and stimulate maturity so I give it a thumb up!
Some life. A little to rugged for me. Love the idea and the setting. It could use something more captivating in the beginning to captivate the readers attention. Or maybe I just like action. Either way I give it 3 stars. For uniqueness and stirring my imagination.
Poor tormented innocent soul. To go through so much pain and have no thoughts as to why or when. When will the torment end. The only sense of freedom is a distant light and glimpses of beauty of the world trapped behind taunting teasing bars. Maybe the bars are limitations. Stopping her from seeing the life that could be and is so close it is tangible. The tunnels being the blinders keeping her trapped on that depressing destructive path. The pain she expresses as she feel God does not see feel or speak to her. The pain she has become numb and accustomed to. She down to mere necessities, just enough to stay alive while being deprived of her wants as she fights her way out. Losing strength in the process. At first I as reading this like why did he choose me..... but as I read on it became something I understood in a dark twisted way. A little gruesome and suspenseful yet sad and empathetic. I like it. Does she ever make it out?
Your sense of humor is for smart people. I found it a nice light hearted funny essay and was able to picture the moments as I read (maybe because of my intense imagination) but you are witty. I felt a slight tension. You write comedies a little more this was like your warm up 👍
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