How are you my friend? Here is the review as promised! I’m going off a guideline for a contest that Diane has started up, trying to win me some coin. A few questions I’m just going through, let me tell you it makes this reviewing easy. Anyway let’s get to it. Burdens on a Long Road, I think this tells the reader that the piece will have some connection to the character’s past which it did.
Ok first thing is first. The plot; it interested me, grabbed from the first sentence as I wanted to know why Paricus didn’t sleep. Great description of him, I can see numerous actors playing him in a screenplay. I feel bad for the loss of his son, brother and wife, not many people can move on from it. Gives the impression that Paricus is a hard character and is a survivor which makes him very likeable. Vetral is also a great character, and when the end is revealed it makes the reader like him even more. So the characters were believable and likeable which makes it even better. The dialog between master and servant flowed naturally just like one would expect if they had a servant and it sounded like real conversation giving your piece another great feature.
Everything of your story worked together, even though no specific time period or location is given. However readers can understand it and if you expanded this you would have a whole world awaiting you. I like everything in your story, more the part when I found out that Paricus wasn’t completely a failure by saving Vetral’s daughter. This was also the major point that stood out to me.
All in all a great piece, very memorable like I said, you’re a brilliant writer! It just seems to come naturally to you. I hope to see you in the Fantastic Fantasy Contest again for another podium finish!
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .