~~Image ID# 1403151's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~
Overall Conclusion
This story got me right at the beginning paragraph. Not many do that, so a BIG thumbs up to you  . And the pace keeps constant throughout - except for a couple of places, which I mention below. That said this is a good story and well written, I'd nearly figured out the twist, though came up with the wrong monster.
And let me say, I am so happy you didn't make this a love story  .
Kept to the Prompt - 10/10
Cannot fault you here - spot on.
Kept to the Rules - 10/10
I thank you.
Originality - 9/10
I've read another story similar to this, as it takes place in a tunnel, and our supposed hero follows the monster inside, though the similarities end there - and that one didn't have a twist. So, good job.
Grammar - 8/10
 Nice use of the word "gaiety" - hats off for that
 "It seemed that I walked for hours"
 Though this sentence is not incorrect there is a "Pesky Word" here which can be eliminated to help safe much needed words and make the sentence flow better. Try - "It seemed I walked for hours" - I also think it falls nicely with the style you're using for your narrator.
"tunnel of death" - I love this - I think I may put this up as the next prompt in the contest, or use it for a story myself.
"His voice, not what I expected. He spoke with an ancient tone, powerful and eloquent."
The way you have these two sentences set up is a little awkward, when they would work so well when joined. Try - "His voice, not what I expected, spoke with an ancient, powerful, and eloquent tone."
"His dark eyes seemed to be able to stop time."
At this point in the story, we're at the exciting finale and you're doing well until I hit this sentence, and the speed of the roller-coaster takes a dramatic brake.
It's the "seemed to be able to" part that is very passive and caused the brakes to come on - try to keep it sharp and powerful as with your opening paragraph. Try - "His dark hypnotic eyes stopped time."
"his voice beckoned but his lips did not move."
You used "but" in the previous paragraph and this one doesn't feel right to your narrator or the style you're writing in. I would try - "his voice beckoned though his lips did not move." I think this is more like they way your narrator speaks.
Dialogue - 9/10
I do think you could've drawn out the conversation at the end of the piece to give the reader a little more insight, but apart from that - another good job.
Characters - 7/10
Writing in the first person narrative is difficult to fill out characterizations within the story. I do think you could've added a few more personal (and probably, paranoiac) points to the narrators character - after all what causes a man to take up arms and hunt down a terrorist in a city - is he police, army, security. That said the story works as is, but I think it would make a great "Full" short story.
Pace and Flow - 9/10
Apart from the parts mentioned above, which slowed me down, this story was one hell of a coaster ride - the kind that starts with a 0-100 in 3 seconds blast. Then picks up speed right to the end.
Feeling / Emotion - 9/10
The feeling and emotion are brought to the reader via the sharp, succinct, and descriptive sentences. The only thing which suffers is that you don't really get to know the main character, as mentioned above.
GREAT OPENING PARAGRAPH - well written short powerful punches of sentences, drive your message across and the end sentence made me stop and think, OK now we're getting into it.
Please remember any opinions which are given, are given in the spirit of helpfulness - If you do not agree with my opinions then please feel free to ignore them - after all this is YOUR story (be true to it and yourself)
Thank you for taking part in the contest - hope to read more from you soon.
Please feel free to check the new prompt,
"Absolute Horror Flash Fiction Contest"  by Pennywise 
and the Monthly Contest with more GP's to give away.
"Absolute Monthly Horror Contest" by Pennywise
Come join me - We ALL float down here.
PENNYWISE |
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) - However, in the second part of the story the pace picks up nicely and keeps going 'till the end.
Should be "Leonard's body convulsed"