Review Requests: ON
270 Public Reviews Given
280 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Peanut  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello I Heart My Sox,

I found your item on the newsfeed.

It's cute and well written. I take it it's a true story?

Aside from capitalizing "peanut" in the sentence, "Juni, where did peanut come from?" I see no errors.

I would recommend making it clearer who is speaking.

Good job with this, and thanks for sharing!

PM
2
2
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello Loewolf,

I found your story on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's a good start. It would work as the first chapter of something longer. Jason seems well developed.

Suggestions for improvement:

There are a few minor punctuation errors and the story is mostly told rather than shown. It seems to end right as the story is beginning.

It's a good story and would be even stronger with some editing.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
3
3
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello rl,

I found your item on the "Read & Review" tab.

I agree with most of your statements. I wouldn't call rhymeless poetry "cheating" but I do concede it is far easier.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job with this!

PM
4
4
Review of My Garden  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Jacky,

I found your item on the "Read & Review" tab.

I like how you used plants as metaphors for past relationships.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to write "he" instead of "he's" in the last line.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
5
5
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Kare Enga,

I found your poem on the "Read & Review" tab.

I like how you used poetry to tell a story. like the phrase, "sparkling diamonds of snow".

Suggestions for improvement:

The last line is missing a period.

This is a good poem. Thanks for sharing.

PM
6
6
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Shirley,

I found your story on the "Read & Review" tab.

I like this. It's well written and clearly depicted.

Suggestions for improvement:

There is a fair amount of telling rather than showing. I would suggest giving the characters names to reveal their characters more.

It's still a great story. Thanks for sharing, and good job with this!

PM
7
7
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello spidey,

I came across this item on the "Read & Review" tab.

I am sorry your family had to go through this but thank Heaven your mom and uncle turned out ok.

The piece is well-written and I see nothing to improve.

Thanks for sharing, and good job with this!

PM
8
8
Review of Her Father's Face  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Cubby,

Your poem is beautiful, touching, and well-written.

I see nothing that needs to be fixed.

Good job with this!

PM
9
9
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Carly,

I found your poem on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's a good tribute. I figure the hosts liked it.

While it is soundly written, a couple of phrases seem a tad clichéd (such as "epic proportions". It still works, though.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
10
10
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Emberly Gray,

I found this poem on the "Read & Review" tab.

It has a universal quality to it. Seems like something a lot of people could relate to. It's also well-written.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
11
11
Review of Lovesick Serenade  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Wandering Thoughts,

I found this on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's beautiful and well-written. I especially like the stars analogy.

I see nothing that needs to be fixed or improved.

Good job with this, and thanks for sharing! Keep writing!

PM
12
12
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello starproms, PM here to review your story.

It's very well written. I like the diction, similes and metaphors.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Great job with this!

PM
13
13
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Tim Chiu, Puppet Master here to review your item.

I like the message. The piece is short, yet it still works. I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
14
14
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello Lonewolf, Puppet Master here to review your item.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's convincing and relatable.

As for edits:

It has a lot of run-on sentences. I would recommend breaking them up (no pun intended). Otherwise, it's good.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
15
15
Review of A Temporal Error  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Sam N. Yago, PM here to review your story.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's well written. I like the diction.

You could make it a little clearer that it's a time traveler, but otherwise no suggestions for improvement.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
16
16
Review of Grim  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello Andrew W, Puppet Master here to review your story.

It's interesting and intriguing.

I do have a couple of suggestions:

The story is mostly told rather than shown. Instead of stating what James is experiencing, you could reveal it through his words and actions more.

Instead of "The figure nod" I would put, "The figure nodded".

I would also suggest putting James' thoughts in italics.

It's a good story. With a little polishing, it could be even better.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
17
17
Review of No Blindfolds  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Emberly Gray, PM here to review your poem.

It's insightful and profound. I see nothing to improve on.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
18
18
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Jeffhans,

This is a charming and well-written story. I wasn't sure what a Mogwai was but I could figure it out from your story.

I saw nothing to correct.

I found this on the "Read & Review" tab.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!

PM
19
19
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Beholden,

This is a very powerful and interesting story. I like the similies and writing style.

You're missing a period at the end of the ninth paragraph but otherwise I saw no technical issues.

The idea of someone being driven to murder by a song is a little hard to believe but possible if the protagonist was unstable enough.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!

PM
20
20
Review of The Diamond  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello HuntersMoon, PM here to review your poem.

It is beautiful and I see no suggestions for improvement.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

Congrats on the win, and good job!

PM
21
21
Review of Love's Embrace  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Tim Chiu, PM here to review your poem.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It is short, but profound and beautiful.

I see nothing to change or improve.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
22
22
Review of Love  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Rene Maori, PM here to review your poem.

It's a strong poem with no discernable errors or improvements.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!

PM
23
23
Review of Rant  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello Gratefully IE, PM here to review your story.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's an interesting vignette with well- developed characters. It is also well-written and engaging.

I see no errors or problems.

Good job, and congrats on the win!

PM
24
24
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello W.D Wilcox, PM here to review your piece.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's fascinating and well-written. The shifts in POV make it even more interesting. It also gives the piece a well-rounded feel.

I saw no grammatical errors.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!

PM
25
25
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello L.A Saxe, PM here to review your poem.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's short and sweet. I would like to see you expand it, but it is lovely as is.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
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