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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/puppetmaster84
Review Requests: ON
158 Public Reviews Given
167 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ali, PM here to review your item.

It is very informative and well researched. The diction is sophisticated, yet clear. It is obvious you put a lot of thought and research into this.

I see nothing that needs to be fixed or modified.

Keep up the great work!

PM
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello JCosmos, PM here to review your poem.

It's a great poem. I like the message. It creates a sense of urgency.

The information included about the mirrored cinquain is awesome. I enjoyed learning about this form of poetry.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
3
3
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

Welcome to W.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if there's anything I can help with.

Onto your poem:

This is a great poem! It's relatable and well written.

My only suggestion for improvement is in the line,

"Or maybe I was just a little bit to me?"

I would replace "to" with "too".

Other than that, I see nothing wrong.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
4
4
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bex,

Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if you have any questions or need help with anything.

Onto your poem:

It's a great poem. It's honest, relatable, and well written.

I see nothing that needs to be fixed.

Welcome, thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
5
5
Review of A Good Idea  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jacky,

This is funny and clever. It's also well written.

My only suggestions for improvement would be to put a closing parenthesis after "Pretend we aren't talking about this."

Also, I would add some action and dialouge tags to make it clearer which characters are talking.

It is still a great piece. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
6
6
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ashok Banerjee,

This is a beautiful and Honorable poem.

No suggestions for improvement.

Thanks for sharing!

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7
7
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Gaby,

Wow! There are some great prompts here. I might be using some in the future.

Thank you for creating this!

Keep writing!

PM
8
8
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Leslie Loo,

Thank you for the review request.

Characterization:

It's pretty good. The reader gets a clear image of the overprotective mother and the kind, sympathetic father.

Plot:

This could be a little more defined. The climax appears to be the father discovering his wife's fake account. I would consider adding another event leading up to the climax. Also, there isn't a resolution, so I would add one unless this is intended to lead into another piece that provides it.

Prose:

The diction is good. No technical errors.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
9
9
Review of " TIME"  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Netty,

This poem contains a beautiful message, but it is almost identical to one of the psalms.

I would add to it to make it more original.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
10
10
Review of Space Holder  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi SM,

Thanks for answering my question. I was curious to know what the oldest item on the site was and now I do.

Thanks for creating such a wonderful community!

PM
11
11
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Averren,

This is a cool contest! Very original.

Thanks for making it!

PM
12
12
Review of Ever-so  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Genipher,

This story is adorable and the
characterization is great.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to add some action and description to the dialouge instead of it being all dialouge.

It is still great, though. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!

PM
13
13
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Temperance Stone,

This is a very well written piece! Your protagonist is well developed and your diction is good.

Great job, and welcome to the site!

PM
14
14
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Temperance Stone, PM here to review your story.

It's a good start. However, there isn't much of a plot or conflict. It also seems to end prematurely. The biggest way you could improve it would be to "tell" less and "show" more. The whole story is told rather than shown.

This story has a lot of potential. A little reworking could make it even better.

Keep writing!

PM
15
15
Review of Happy Won  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jacky, PM here to review your story.

I like it. It's short and sweet. It's a great feel-good story.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to "show" more rather than "tell". Instead of saying, "Mom felt a stab of panic", you could show it through her actions or dialogue.

It's still a great piece. Good luck in the contest!

PM
16
16
Review of True Love WC 288  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello jackiesmuse, PM here to review your story.

It is well written, and I see nothing to fix.

Good luck in the contest!

PM
17
17
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello CBH,

This is interesting and eerie. There are a few technical things to tweak: You have a few sentence fragments and the first sentence of the second paragraph is a run-on sentence. I would also put spaces between the paragraphs.

It's still a good start. With some tweaking it could be even better.

Keep writing!

PM
18
18
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Adherennium,

Nice poem. It's well written and I see nothing to fix.

Keep writing!

PM
19
19
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello elisabeth,

This is a nice poem. I like it. It seems like something many children could relate to.

Nothing to fix or improve upon.

Keep writing great poems!

PM
20
20
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Averren,

What a great poem! It does an excellent job depicting the paratrooper unit.

Nothing to fix or improve on.

Keep writing great poems!

PM
21
21
Review of Throwing Rocks  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello FaeThorned, PM here to review your story.

It's a very interesting story. I like the depiction of Little Johnny's tenderness to the alien he finds. The diction and descriptions are also good.

I do have a couple of suggestions for improvement. You use passive voice in a couple of places. Instead of, "Little Johnny's mother (or Claudine as her parents had called her) was stirred awake by the impact" I would rephrase it as, "The sheer impact stirred Claudine awake". You want to have the subject of the sentence doing the action instead of it happening to them.

Also, you do a lot of "telling" rather than "showing". Instead of saying, "His mother had told him he could play in the backyard," I would recommend revealing this through her dialogue.

It's still a good story. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
22
22
Review of Resolved  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Abby Gayle, PM here to review your story.

I like it. It has good descriptions and creates a rich atmosphere.

It does seem to be more "told" than "shown" in a few places. Instead of saying, "Rosa’s resolution this year was to stop being afraid," I would recommend having her reveal it through her actions or dialogue.

Good job and keep writing!

PM
23
23
Review of HIDDEN THORNS  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dr. M C Gupta,

This poem is sad but still beautiful. It is well written. The rhythm could be tweaked a little but other than that I have no suggestions for improvement.

Keep writing great poems!

PM
24
24
Review of Wild Turkeys  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Queen NormaJean,

I like this. It's comical.

The only thing I would change is the punctuation in a couple places. After "winter" in the second paragraph I would put a period rather than a comma. After "back" it would read smoother to put "and".

Overall this is a good story. Congrats on the win!

PM
25
25
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Jackson,

This is sad, yet beautiful. It's also well written. It is bittersweet since the school is destroyed yet she lives on in the boy's heart.

I see nothing that needs to be fixed or improved.

Congratulations on the win!

Thanks for sharing and keep writing great stories!

PM
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