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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/puppetmaster84
Review Requests: ON
198 Public Reviews Given
207 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran, PM here to review your poem.

It is shirt, simple and yet very cute. I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim Chiu, PM here to review your poem.

It is well written and I sympathize with the message.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
3
3
Review of A letter home  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo, PM here to review your piece.

It sounds very authentic. I like the POV and how well written it is. I don't see anything that needs to be fixed, although it might read easier if you broke it up into paragraphs with spaces between them.

Good job!

PM
4
4
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello BlackAdder, PM here to review your story.

It is well written. The first paragraph is more told than shown but otherwise I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing, and good job!

PM
5
5
Review of Twenty-three  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden, PM here to review your story.

Congrats on the win!

It is interesting and well written. The only issue I see is that it is mostly told rather than shown.

It is a great story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
6
6
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

This is cool. I wonder about random stuff like this too.

It's called a hamburger because it originated in Hamburg, Germany. Has nothing to do with what is on it.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
7
7
Review of Boys in Blue  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Winchester Jones,

This is a strong, dramatic piece. It seems to end a little suddenly. I am curious about what happens to Lottie.

It is very well written. Aside from maybe expanding it I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
8
8
Review of Resurrection  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Jimbo, PM here to review your story.

It's sad but well written. I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
9
9
Review of Growing up  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Azot, PM here to review your story,

Welcometo W.Com! Please let me know if there's anything I can help you with.

Your story is profound and well written. I have just a couple of suggestions:

I would recommend putting spaces between paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes.

I would also put the plant's words in quotation marks.

it's still a great story! Thanks for sharing!

PM
10
10
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello fyn,

This poem is beautiful and well written. I see nothing to improve.

Good job!

PM
11
11
Review of Morgan's Love  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Winchester Jones, PM here to review your story.

It's a good start. The only major issue is that it's almost all "told" rather than "shown". Instead of saying what happens, you could show it through dialouge and action.

Also, it seems to end mid-thought and doesn't really have a plot arch.

It's still a good story. With a little editing it could be even better.

Thanks for sharing!
12
12
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello jackiesmuse, PM here to review your item.

It is well written and I see nothing to fix.

Your piece is relatable. A lot of people see certain politicians the way your character does.

I also attended a speech by someone in a party not my own, but in my case the politician and I hit it off well.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
13
13
Review of Before the storm  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Kare Enga,


This is an elegant, well written poem. I see nothing to improve upon.

Good job!

PM
14
14
Review of My Heart's Desire  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

This is great! Interesting and well written. I see nothing to fix or improve upon and the diction and style are good.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
15
15
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Jeff,

Creating an appendix for your port is a great idea! You are correct that ports can be difficult to navigate. Maybe other authors will be inspired to do the same.

PM
16
16
Review of Missing piece  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Minnie,

I like this piece. I agree with the message.

Aside from missing periods after "fit" and "behind" I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
17
17
Review of Deafening silence  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Minnie,

Welcome to W.Com! Please let me know if you have any questions about the site or need any help.

Onto your piece:

It's a good start. There are a couple of technical notes:

"are" and "you" should be capitalized.

You're missing a period after "me".

The sentence beginning with, "I forget I am a person..." is a run-on sentence and should be broken up.

It is still a good piece. With a little editing it could be even better.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
18
18
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sorji,

I like this story. Your character seems relatable and there are no grammatical errors.

I also like the serendipity of just the right song playing at the right time.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to expand on the ending. It seems to stop in mid-thought.

It's still a great story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
19
19
Review of Untrue  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Anya, PM here to review this piece.

Welcome to W.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here.

I get the impression this is about a breakup. I am sorry you went through that but writing about it is a healthy way to deal with it.

It is a very honest and relatable piece.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
20
20
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Beholden, PM here to review your poem.

It's a great poem. I see nothing to fix or improve upon.

Congrats on the win, and thanks for sharing!

PM
21
21
Review of Turtles in Love  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim Chiu, PM here to review your poem.


It's so cute! Also well written. I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
22
22
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Dr M C Gupta, PM here to review your poem.

I found it through the random review tab.

I like the metaphors you use, although the rose metaphor is a bit clichéd.

It is a thoughtful and philosophical piece. I see nothing else that needs to be edited or fixed.

Good job and thanks for sharing!
23
23
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Weirdone, PM here to review your story.

I found it through the random review tab.

It is well written. My only suggestions for improvement would be to italicized the mother's thoughts in the first paragraph and to put a closing parenthesis after "She's funny."

Thanks for sharing!

PM
24
24
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Deb CarverOwens, PM here to review your first chapter.

Thank you for the review request.

It's a good start. Does a great job setting the tone and stage for the rest of the story to come.

The only thing to fix is that you have a couple unnecessary commas. In the first paragraph you don't need a comma after "I suspect". Same for the comma after "dress" in the third paragraph.

This has potential to be a great book! I like the premise and how it is starting.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
25
25
Review of Stone  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Pericles, PM here to review your poem.

It's a good start. It is very short, leaves me wanting more. You could expand on it if you wish to. It seems worth expanding upon.

Also, it deserves a title should you wish to give it one.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
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