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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/r.s.j.lacey
Review Requests: OFF
8 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is honest and based on my own personal opinion and by no means reflects what you should or should not do, but instead represents what I have read and heard about what a story should be. This said you can disregard everything I have said because there is no sure way to write!
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Science-Fiction, Historical Fiction, Literary-Role Playing, Self-Help
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Too many memories  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Ben.

Everything you are about to read is purely my own opinion and is in no way right or to be considered.

I liked the over all idea of the story. Someone starting a new life and holding onto something they think they can not live without.

I did find it a little hard to read with some lengthy sentences which could be cut down for example: "Too many memories, boxes and boxes of them laying around a room that will soon no longer be his."

I would have written it as "Too many memories. Boxes and boxes of them that lay around the room. Soon to no longer be his." I cut them down into choppier sentences to keep the pace. Memories, what memories? Boxes, why so many boxes? Why will they no longer be his? Do you see what I mean? I also cut the prefix of -ing from lay and changed the sentence, that in my opinion reads better but I am no expert.

There are also a few spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected such as: "He did not indent to end up here," it should be intent instead of indent.

I won't point out all of the mistakes as you'll probably get the idea but if you wish you can message me and request me to have a look and I'll do a more in-depth
review for you to help. Again I am no expert but I can help in places.

I liked the ending as it leaves it open and makes us wonder what past these two had and what will happen in their future.

A nice story over all so well done!

-Ross


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Small Faces  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Lou,

A heart felt and heart wrenching piece. I do not have children yet, nor am I married but your words made it feel as if I did and were.

A work colleague is currently going through this situation so it has made me understand a little bit more about how he must feel.

You can tell it was from the heart. I just hope it is a piece of fiction and not a real lived experience.

-Ross


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of My pet  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Marvin,

I nice and simple A, B rhyme. Sometimes the simple can have great effect.

This struck a cord with me because this year my girlfriend and I got our first dog from am puppy and while reading this she is lay on the floor asleep! We love her dearly and this has put into words how we feel about her.

I think anyone with a dog who feels the same would smile and feel their heart warm as they read or finish this heart felt and wonder work.

Well done.

-Ross
4
4
Review of Snide  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A powerful image in just 50 words. It encompasses years of friendship in such a short space and makes you wonder what happened before and how it lead up to this point for the two characters to be in such a situation.

The fact she grins at the end at the fact it was the last thing he saw only reinforces what she has become, which is her partner it seems.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Crimson Elegy  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A wonderful piece and evocative indeed. As someone who has gone through depression and has self harmed in the past I could feel her pain in my own way. A fantastic use of vocabulary that contrast the colours of white and red, not to mention the use of the red text against the white background to portray that very essence.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Brother  
Review by Ross S. J. Lacey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I was instantly pulled in by the first sentence. It made me wonder what had happened and what time period it was in.

I liked how when I came to "Another soldier lives." it made me think the protagonist was helping an ally until I hit the part about their uniforms being a different colour. For some reason this part made me think of the American Civil War (maybe because I saw a music video with similarities to your work). The part about their blood being the same was quite moving as they realised that, in my opinion, what does it matter now, it all seems pointless, it was all senseless killing and they now realise that and they both know where they will end up dependant on their belief system.

I'm quite new to flash fiction and would like to know more about it and this piece has intrigued me.

Over all it was fantastic work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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