Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,
I just finished reading "The Cleansing" and I'd like to offer you the following comments.
Overall Impression: As always you entertain and enthrall your readers from the first to the last line. interesting, I don't think I have read a horror story of yours before. s there a genre that you do not write and master
Character's: The meek and mild Mrs. Comfrey is very well written. Her flushed cheeks, her voice trailing off as she shares her worries all paint a picture for the reader. She makes her appearance at the beginning of the story and provides the inteoduction and balance to the educated, sensible, good Doctor.
Dr. Thomas Cream is an educated, sensible intellectual. The picture you paint in my mind is the leather armchair, by the fireplace, ascot firmly in place sipping upon his strong cup of tea with a hint of Brandy. He is refined, well off and even jovial as he chides his staff the Mrs, Comfrey. Then the total opposite, disgust with himself your descriptions are so well written that his contempt for himself is palpable Your character descriptions do a wonderful job in speaking to the reader in pictures. Giving enough of the character and leaving some for the reader to imagine for themselves. It is wonderful to be brought into a story like this rather than being told everything. our characters in this story do just that, invite the reader in, to be part of.
Jack, I can only describe as dark, "the voice" coming from the shadows. So well written that a shiver goes through your reader in suspense of what is to come. Shall say no more on this character other than once again your descriptions pain pictures and I can see him vividly and may in my nightmares.
Dialogue: Your use of dialogue is minimal, used to enhance and further the story. it always moves things along in a natural, flowing realistic tone. Yes, your choice of wording and descriptions allow the reader to hear the tone that each and every character speaks with. Very well done.
Setting: the setting for this piece is perfect. You set the stage wonderfully. I can see it (gloomy, fog, illumination of the gas light) hear it (fireplace crackling, quietly lifting the lock), feel it ( his first blow severing..., the gore from his apron), taste (strong earl grey with brandy, the warmth and comfort they provide on such gloomy, damp night)
Plot: The plot was simple and fairly common for psychological thrillers but as always it was executed beautifully. The life you breath into this story touches a reader and tells a complete story with beginning, middle and end in only a little over 800 words. You are a master at making every word count. I can only describe your writing as tight you don't waste words and each is used with thought. Very well done.
Grammar/Punctuation: Flawless
Suggestions: I am reaching for a suggestion because this story and all of it's elements have been executed flawlessly. When reviewing the senses you take your readers through the only one you have left out (or perhaps I missed) was smell. Just one more element that breaths light into things but certainly not required.
As always a pleasure to read. thank you for sharing with me.
Reminder: This review is my personal opinion which I hope I have done in an objective, honest and respectful manor. Only you can judge if the feedback is useful. If at anytime you would like me to review after changes have been made I would be pleased to do so. My personal opinion is that reviews are only helpful if they are honest and therefore they help us to grow. If we are doing things wrong we should know so we can learn. If we are doing things correctly we should know because we learn knowing what we did right and better yet we have a recipe for success. Thank you for sharing your work with me today!
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