|Good Morning, Intuey.
I read your entry into the Rebel Poetry Contest based on Prompt 2 for this contest period.
I believe that you captured the theme of what a child might become from the video that was there. Let me start this by saying poetry is not my forte.
You put dark as a genre for this work and I was left with that feeling of darkness very well. I was left with the impression of a child, unwanted, maybe abused in a neglectful kind of way, hopeless about the future before becoming aware of their own inner power. The sense of self that came with the dawning of possibilities that this kid is having.
Some of the imagery was very well done! One of those that I liked was the visual of all those crumpled hopes as a web, in my mind a spider’s web, that seemed to me to be a self-imposed trap of sorts. The other that I enjoyed was the sunlight through the window.
As I said, poetry is not my forte, so this is an observation from a readers standpoint only, but in most poetry I have read it seems to measure out pretty even as to line counts in each area of the work. I noticed that the four sections had 6, 6, 8, 4 respectively. Maybe this is part of more freeform works I’m not aware of and it more about my tending to see these things where others may not even consider it.
I saw no obvious grammar issues or spelling errors in it either.
Please keep up with your writing, this was a great peace in my opinion, and good luck in the contest it was entered for.