It sounds like you have a formidable task. I thought this would be an easy piece to review, since I do have some experience in public speaking, but I have more questions than answers.
A speech is different than a story and the success criteria are different. There are two basic speech types:
Informative speech: Convey information. Most prevalent is the "How to" speech where the structure is based on a series of steps.
Persuasive speech: Get the audience to do something. A "Call to Action" speech where the structure is reasons and examples to support the call to action.
For your submission, I would have to invent another category — the syrup speech — a speech where you pour warm syrup over the audience, tell them how wonderful they are, and how grateful you are to be able to worship at their feet.
What you have offered for critique is the syrup speech. Now here are the questions I couldn't answer in order to critique your speech.
1. When is Teachers Day – beginning or end of school year?
2. What is the purpose of Teachers Day – inspire a great year ahead or thanks for a great year past?
3. Who are the teachers in your audience – high school, middle school, elementary school?
4. What is the purpose of your speech, as assigned – to motivate or to adulate?
If Teachers Day is at the end of the year to say thanks, your syrup speech is pretty good.
If Teachers Day is at the beginning of the year to inspire performance, start over.
But I would advise this:
Do not try to speak from a word by word text. Create note cards with the points you want to make, then fill in the words as you speak.
Whatever notes you use should be in a very big type, you should not have to squint at typewritten pages while you speak. If possible, write the notes in bright red ink, using open manila folders as the note cards. Then lay them flat on the stage where you are presenting. Get out from behind the lectern, walk about the stage, and use your notes to give you the cues for spontaneous remarks that come across as heartfelt comments.